The Injustice of Being Spider-man
by UltimateSpiderPool
Summary: Life was normal (or as normal as could be for the Justice League)... until an itsy bitsy spider went splat right in the middle of a league meeting, literally. Who is this guy? Where did he come from? And why does no one care that he's bleeding to death? Read what happens when DC Universe gets a dose of your friendly neighborhood Spider-man!
1. Like a Bug on a Windshield

Deadpool voices—White = [] Yellow = () Me = _italics_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel, DC, or any other characters in this story…** _ **but if I did, Spider-man would be awesomer.**_

 **[Awesomer isn't even a word]**

 **(Since when did we care about spelling?)**

 **[Ever since the writer decided to get off his lazy butt and put his thoughts into words]**

 **(Weel I kan taalk h0w3ver i wunt 2!)**

 _ **Cut it out! You're ruining what little rep I've got! Hey, Deadpool isn't even in this story!**_

 **(But you love Deadpool! He's like your favorite character!)**

 **[No, that would be Spider-man]**

 **(Traitor!)**

 _ **If you two don't shut up in five seconds I will delete you**_

 **[Aye sir] (Shutting up now)**

* * *

Chapter 1: Like a Bug on a Windshield

The Justice League sat watching in their—well, Watchtower, orbiting high above as the Earth slowly rotated beneath their feet. The team; consisting of Green Arrow, Flash, Wonder Woman, Superman, the Martian Man-Hunter, and of course…wait for it…Batman; all sat circled around a long table in the middle of a large room with windows curving along one side to reveal the endless amount of stars sparkling in the distance. They were probably discussing something boring, like alien invasion and what-not, when a sudden burst of green light erupted above their heads. The earlier relaxed superheroes leaped to their feet and prepared to take on whatever threat that was stupid enough to attack them on their own turf. But instead of some all-powerful super-villain or hideous monster rearing its head, a smaller, spandex-clad figure appeared and went splat, face first onto the table below.

The protectors of earth stared stunned at the scene before them. The figure looked smaller than the average man, he was dressed top to bottom in red in blue spandex which seemed to have some sort of webbed pattern over it. Although it was hard to tell considering it was ripped in too many places to count.

Oh, and the blood, lots of blood.

Batman tensed as their unexpected guest groaned. He could have sworn he heard the bloody mess mutter something about street pizza. The other heroes hesitated, seeming unsure about how to approach the matter. Suddenly, the mysterious man in red snapped his head up and looked straight at Batman, his wide, white, slightly cracked, optic lenses showing no emotion. He then cocked his head confused, and continued the process shifting from Wonder Woman to the Flash and so on. The figure then looked down at himself and realized how he was unceremoniously sprawled across the metal table. He attempted to stand, but then fell to his knees, clutching the three large gashes across his torso.

The wounded man then lifted his gazed back to the startled heroes and began in a weak yet determined voice, "Sorry to drop in on your little costume party, but I'm kinda bleeding out like Imagine Dragons here. Also, my puns are weak when I'm weak, so I don't want the world to remember Spider-man's last words as something completely lame."

Batman was a little taken back. This self-proclaimed "Spider-man" was in the midst of Earth's Mightiest Heroes **(** _ **Eat your heart out Avengers!**_ **),** probably bleeding to death, and he just joked it off as if it happened every day. Batman was about to reply, but Superman beat him to it.

"Who are you and what are you doing here"

Spider-man answered while crouching there and face-palming in mock annoyance, "Did you even hear a word I just said? I clearly stated my name and reason of being. Let me guess, you didn't even catch that little quip I made about Imagine Dragons."

The Batman watched in amusement as the Man of Steel clenched his fists and glared at their wise-cracking guest. This guy had guts, mouthing off to a man twice his size with the power to chuck him to Mars. Brave, yet incredibly stupid.

"Either you're as thick as the Hulk, or your speedo is on too tight." Mocked the masked man, pushing his luck. Superman's face lit up in anger as he menacingly stepped toward the jokester. The Dark Knight raised his arm to stay the enraged superhero from giving the man that free trip to Mars. In any other case he would have just sat back and watched the event, but in this man's current condition, he didn't think he could take a pillow to the head.

"Enough," Batman stated in a commanding voice that could give you chills, "This man obviously needs medical attention. So if you're all done standing there like idiots, could someone catch the guy before he collapses on the table again?" Superman looked at the man in black and was about to protest, but Batman glared at him and said in a low voice, "We can't get any information out of him if he's unconscious or dead." This seemed to shut the caped crusader up.

Spider-man had heard that last part about "getting information", which gave him a sudden sense of panic. _Who are these people? How did I get here? Did they capture me or something?_ Spidey quickly scanned the circle of heroes again. _I could probably take out the red guy with the lightning bolt and the green Hawkeye. Possibly the dude with the bat fetish? Wait, is that an alien? Should probably avoid him, aliens mean trouble. So there are two heavy hitters, the star-spangled lady and… crap, I think I ticked off the strongest guy here! Me and my big spider mouth_

Spider-man slowly edged his way to the gap in the circle of "enemies". He noticed the speedo dude glaring at him again. _Schnitzel, that guy gives me the creeps, it's like he can see right through my…_

Before the web slinging vigilante could finish his thought process, the larger of the two red and blue super's mouth fell open and stuttered in a shocked, "I-it's just a kid!"

 _What the- how the heck does he know?!_

The wall crawler's surprise instantly turned to rage. Before anyone could process what was happening, the smaller jumped off the table, ignoring the screaming pain in his side, marched strait up to the larger and socked him in the jaw. In his anger, the vigilante sent the hero crashing into the wall behind him. The Justice League recovered quickly and rushed to assist Superman in taking down his assailant. The Kryptonian rubbed his jaw and shot his teammates a look. He could deal with this himself.

Spider-man stood over his victim fuming, "Dude, you just broke the number one universal superhero rule! Did you even stop to think that maybe I could have had a family to protect? You think you can just use your all-mighty super powers to take advantage of people like that?!"

The wall-crawler was shaking in anger. He was light-headed on account of the major blood loss, and could feel the room spinning around him as he continued to rant, unable to control the words coming from his mouth.

"First there was the cops calling me a murderer and a menace, who have shot me countless times while I am saving their tails! Then that secret spy organization that sees me as a threat and has been trying for years to stick me in a hole in the ground! And then there are the Avengers, who are wrapped around said SHIELD's finger and keep telling me to quit being a superhero because I'm not trained enough, or strong enough, or good enough to ever make a difference! It's like they don't even care what happens to the little guys and the normal people as long as they save the world from some stupid alien invasion once and awhile!"

Superman slowly got to his feet and faced the seriously confused superhero. He reached out his hand and placed it on his shoulder to keep the young man from falling over. "I am sorry for invading your privacy. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions and ignore the fact that you might need help instead of being a threat." Spider-man let out a sigh, then collapsed onto the cold floor. The last he heard was urgent shouting, then it all went black.

* * *

 _ **Well that was chapter one! Hope you guys liked it! I'm hoping to write the next one soon, considering how evil I am when it comes to cliff hangers :p**_

 **[Don't you think Spider-man was a little out of character at the end there, not to mention Superman?]**

 _ **Superman was on purpose. I'm sorry Supey-fans.**_

 **(I think it's cute when Spidey loses his temper)**

 **[Well it was kind of annoying that no one cared that he was bleeding to death in their clubhouse]**

 **(Ya! He was frick'n bleeding to death in their- oh wait, you just said that)**

 _ **You guy do know that I'm the one who's coming up with all this right?**_

 **[….]**

 **(….)**

 _ **On that note I leave you with… CHIMICHANGAS!**_

 **[You are my new best friend]**

 **(WAIT YOU HAD CHIMICHANGAS THIS WHOLE TIME!)**

 **So yeah. Supey's OOC on purpose for this chapter because I needed it to happen (you understand). Anywho, hope you like the rest, and plez review!**


	2. Frick'n Outer Space!

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Marvel or DC blah blah blah…**

 **[Took you long enough, Spider-man is probably dead by now]**

 _ **We discussed this earlier, none of this is real!**_

 **[That means you're not real either]**

 _ **Touché…wait…where's Yellow?**_

 **[Umm….]**

 _ **WHITE!**_

 **[Last I checked he was hacking your system and taking over the story]**

 _ **THAT LITTLE- don't go anywhere, I'm gonna find Yellow and introduce him to black and blue!**_

 **[….]**

 **[Well I guess I'll be the one telling the story today! Everything is better with explosions anyway. Ha! Rhymed]**

* * *

Chapter 2: Frick'n Outer Space!

Darkness. Cold, suffocating darkness. It was wrapped around him like a snake, he wanted to scream but he couldn't breathe. He could hear his heart beat slower and slower, almost inaudible. All of his strength completely gone, he let the darkness consume him. He was finally at peace. Then suddenly, he felt a shock of electricity course through his body, causing all of his forgotten wounds to scream out in pain. The darkness was shattered by a blinding light.

Spider-man's eyes snapped open as the shock came again. He jolted upright, then instantly regretted his decision as his body complained again. A strong hand gently pushed him back onto the surgical table. The teen's eyes slowly came into focus, to reveal the superhero team standing expectantly around him.

"What-"

"You died." Someone interrupted. Spider-man craned his neck to search for the origin of the gruff voice. Batman stood leaning against a wall in the far corner of the room with his arms crossed against the bat emblem on his chest.

"Well technically your heart stopped. You lost a lot of blood, if you don't believe me then ask the poor table you rudely face-planted on." Corrected the man with the lightning bolt symbol, whose foot was currently tapping at 100 miles per hour.

"I really need to stop doing that, by that I mean both dying _and_ face planting from extreme heights." Spider-man suddenly remembered the earlier events and instinctively reached up to his masked face.

"Don't worry kid. No one took off your mask. Although, we had to bribe Thumper here to back off." The Robin Hood wannabe assured, throwing the man in red a glare.

Spidey sighed, "I don't see how it matters. You practically already know who I am. I'm sure you had your alien friend over there poke around in my head while I was unconscious." Spider-man only knew the bald guy was a telepath because his spider-sense could pick up the telepathic waves radiating off him. Spidey was really uncomfortable around telepaths for obvious reasons.

"I would never intrude on someone's mind without permission or good reason." The earlier accused assured.

"Well it wasn't so hard for your buddy to "intrude" on my privacy was it?" The web-slinger muttered. Superman shifted on his feet with a guilty look on his face.

Batman interjected to keep the situation from getting more awkward. "You can whine about that later. First, we need to know why you're here. You said your name was Spider-man?"

He nodded, "I can't believe you don't recognize who I am."

"We could say the same about you. So you've really never heard of the Justice League before?" The previously silent chick in Fourth of July getup questioned.

Spidey shook his head in confusion. "Nope. Never heard of you. So are you like some new superhero team or something? Cause I'm leaning more towards 'or something'."

The Justice League looked at each other. "We've been protecting the Earth for years. So how is it that we've never hear of each other before now?" Superman spoke up.

"You still haven't answered my question. How. Did. You. Get. Up. Here?" Batman pronounced each word as if he was trying to drill it into the vigilante's brain.

"Up? Where exactly am I?"

"Space." Superman said bluntly, earning glare from the interrogator.

The teen's eyes widened beneath his mask. "That's impossible! Last time I checked I was falling off a skyscraper! So how did I end up in outer—frick'n—space?!"

Batman eyebrows crease in deep thought. _A sky scraper? This kid claims he fell off a skyscraper, then just happens to magically appear in the Watchtower. It's too much of a coincidence. He could be lying, but then again, he did almost die._ Then a realization struck him. _Maybe, but I need to be positive before I can voice my theory._

Batman raised his head and made eye contact (or at least what he hoped was eye contact) with their injured guest. "You mentioned before a team called the Avengers."

Spider-man tilted his head, "I did?"

"Yeah, you totally chewed out Supey right after socking him into the wall!" Flash grinned.

Spidey coughed awkwardly. "Oh right, sorry about that. I usually don't get mad that easy. It was—I don't know what came over me," Spider-man stuttered while fiddling with some device on his wrist.

"There's no need to apologize, it was wrong of me. You were also bleeding to death at the moment, so you probably didn't even know what you were doing." Superman threw him reassuring smile.

The Dark Knight coughed, and most definitely not the awkward kind. Spider-man had ignored his question again. It was surprising how calm the kid was while talking to him. He didn't even seem a little bit intimidated, which was quite an accomplishment considering he had a habit of making people uncomfortable. Especially when he was dangling them from rooftops.

 _ **(A/n: Or snapping their necks)**_ **[Will you just let that go already]**

"Avengers?" Bruce restated. He noticed the spider-themed superhero clench his fists at the mention of that name. _Must not like them very much._

Spidey answered through clenched teeth, "They're a team of superheroes made up of Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Thor."

Wonder Woman snapped her head up at that last name. "You know Thor?"

Spider-man turned to the goddess intrigued. "Yeah, he's actually the least jerkier of the Avengers. Have you heard of him? Are you some sort of god too? Are you related?" Spider-man took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Sorry, I might have geeked out a little there."

"Ya think?" Green Arrow raised an eyebrow.

The teen crisscrossed his legs and started fiddling with those devices on his wrists again.

The black haired maiden's eyes softened, "I'm Wonder Woman, but my real name is Diana. The archer is Green Arrow, the alien is Martian Man-Hunter, this character is the Flash," the goddess motioned to man in red next to her who waved back. "The man you punched is Superman, and the dark and brooding one is Batman."

Spidey studied them as she named each of the world's defenders. But it was her name that got his attention. "Did you say Diana? As in Princess Diana?"

Batman's eyes widened in surprise. _This guy knows who she is? Maybe my theory is wrong after all._

"Yes?" Wonder Woman answered, also surprised at this.

"Oh, you're an Amazon, so of course you know Thor." Spider-man pondered, "But I thought you Amazons stayed in Themyscira because you hate men?"

Princess Diana was pleasantly surprised at his knowledge of her people's history. Although she shook her head at his last statement. "My mother believes that all men of Earth are evil. She will not accept that the world has changed, and that people can change. So I decided to leave Themyscira and prove to my family that there are good men on Earth."

The webbed warrior nodded in respect, "I know what it's like to leave your family and friends behind because you feel that you have a responsibility to the world."

Bruce could hear the sadness in the kid's voice. _So he's a runaway superhero now?_

Out of nowhere, the Man of Spiders got an evil glint in his eye. "Well your mom was right about one thing, men are douche bags."

The corners of Bat's mouth twitched upwards slightly. The Flash snorted, then covered his mouth with his hands to keep from bursting with laughter. Martian Man-Hunter look confused, "But are you not—?"

"Technically, I'm not a man until I turn 18. Sooo…"

Everyone stopped smiling, even Flash stopped acting like an idiot. _He's not even 18 yet? After Superman brushed it off earlier I just assumed he was in his early twenties or something._

Spider-man suddenly realized his mistake. "Um, guys?"

 _Enough stalling, time to confirm my suspicions._ "Take off your mask." Batman commanded.

Peter snapped his head around. "Oh, so before you were fine with me keeping my secret identity. But the second you find out that I'm a just some kid, you want to take it away my life and lock me up 'for my own protection'."

 _He's panicking, maybe I shouldn't have been so subtle. Me and my big bat mouth. Just get him to take off his mask so we can get this over with._

"That's not what I meant. Let me-"

"Not this time," Spider-man growled as he painfully stood up to face him, "All you big time superhero's are the same. You need to be in control of everything, you don't care who you might hurt while trying to protect the world from us so-called "threats". You've probably been lying through your teeth this whole time! This is all just an elaborate set up from SHIELD to get information out of me! Killing my family wasn't enough, and now you pull this?!

 _Killing his—what happened to this kid?_ "Listen, whatever happened to you before had nothing to do with us. I you just calm down for a second, I think I might have an idea of how you got here." Bruce half expected the super arachnid to knock his brains out like he did to Supey. But instead, Spidey stepped back and crossed his arms over his bandaged chest. "Well it better be one hellava explanation."

Batman took a deep breath and looked Spider-man in his bug-like lenses, "I have come to the conclusion…. that you are from a different dimension."

* * *

 **[Wasn't my second chapter way better than your first?]**

 _ **Don't be ridiculous! The first of everything is always the best. Take the Spider-man 3 for example…**_

 **(Yeah yeah, you're both pretty. Can I go home now?)**

 _ **No! You're grounded on account of your attempt in sabotage!**_

 **(But White set me up! He's the one who messed with your story!)**

 _ **Except White did a pretty decent job. You would've made Spider-man kill DC Universe!**_

 **[Hmm… I need to write that down]**

 **(How can you not see that he's using you! White is an evil mastermind!)**

 **[MWAHAHAHAHA!]**


	3. My Name is Peter Parker

**Disclaimer: I do not own Spider-man, DC, or Marvel…. So don't sue me!**

 **(And we're back to the Wilson and Wilson show! So Wilson, what do you think of the story so far?)**

 **[Well Wilson, I believe the story has come off to a strong start. But the writer's think tank is running on empty]**

 _ **It is not! I've got TONS of ideas that I can't wait to whip out!**_

 **[But these ideas are crazy!] *Shuffles papers**

 _ **That's why it's called a FANFICTION! Besides, aren't you crazy?**_

 **(You want some aloe for that burn?)**

 **[Ya well, when you** _ **do**_ **run out of ideas, and you will, I'll be there to laugh in your face]**

 **(Me too!)**

 _ **Where would I be without you two?**_

 **[Probably writing fanfics in your parents' basement]**

 **(*Snicker*)**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: My Name is Peter Parker**

This character had previously appeared in the middle of a League meeting, half dead. So by now all of them were expectant to hear his reaction. All eyes were fixed on their mysterious guest.

To their surprise, the webbed wonder simply snorted and replied, "Wow, it took you this long to figure it out? And you call yourself a detective."

 **[You just broke the forth wall]** _ **(Shut up, White)**_

Batman scowled and retorted in his signatory dark voice, "So you knew this whole time you were in a different dimension, and you never bothered to bring it up?"

Spidey shrugged it off while leaning with his foot on the bed behind him, "I didn't know how any of you would react. Most of the time when you tell the 'good guys' you're from an alternate universe, you end up getting dissected. Or at least that's what happens in the comics." Peter muttered that last part under his breath. His tone became a little darker as he continued, "Besides, how does unmasking me have anything to do with confirming that I am actually from a different dimension? You could have just asked you know."

"You assume that we trust you. I was planning to run a facial recognition scan on you. If nothing came up, then you were from another world. The alternative was that our tech needs an upgrade, although the former is more likely."

Batman didn't trust anyone, except for a few such as Alfred. He especially didn't like it when he was in the dark about anything. A smart-mouthed vigilante's identity for example. It was his job to have information on everyone and everything that could even have the slightest chance of being a threat (similar to a certain eye patched spy we know and love). All Bruce knew on this "Spider-man" was that he was under 18, possible spider-related abilities, and had issues with some powered people from his dimension. Oh yeah, and that last part about being from an alternate world was what frustrated him the most.

"I still want you to take off your mask. If you really are from another dimension, then it won't matter if we know who you are."

Batman noticed Spider-man hesitate.

 _I don't know. Although I am almost positive that this is an alternate universe, can I really trust these people with the secret that I have worked so hard to keep? Well, it's not like I have anyone left to protect anyways._

With that thought, the troubled teen nodded his head and reached his gloved hands behind his neck. Peter slowly peeled the bloodstained mask over his head until it came off entirely. The assembly of heroes studied his face. The kid had messy coffee hair and brown eyes that held a defiant cockiness, but also hid a sad and weary look that no person so young should have had till he was way older. His face was littered in scratches and bruises, but other than that, vigilante looked to be no older than 17.

The man (or should I say teen) behind the mask sighed and began his story, "My name is Peter Parker. I am 17 years old, and Spider-man has been my life since I was 15. I gained my powers when I was on a field trip to a science industry called Oscorp. There I was bitten by a genetically enhanced spider created by my father, Richard Parker. Earlier on in my life, my mother and father were scientists working for Oscorp. That is, until they realized what the company's true intentions were, concerning my father's work. To protect me and everyone else from what he had created, my father destroyed as much of his research as possible and took his remaining work along with my mother on a plain to who knows where. But it was sabotaged by Oscorp, causing the plane to crash, killing them both."

Peter closed his eyes as the memories flooded back to him. Men in black coming to their house; Aunt May sobbing in the doorway; Uncle Ben hugging him, comforting him that everything would be alright.

Peter opened his eyes, shoving his sadness deep down inside him like he had done all those years. He continued, "My Uncle Ben and Aunt May raised me after that. One day, I was on my way home when I ran into man who was currently making his getaway from a robbery. I let him go, figured it was the cops' job to take care of criminals, not me. That is, until I heard the gunshot that killed my uncle."

The usually quick witted hero sat back onto the medical bed. Superman felt sympathy for him, this kid had gone through so much in his short life. But instead of having the mental break down that he deserved, Peter kept going.

"I could have stopped him, right then and there. With my powers, I could have taken him out in one swing. But I was too self-centered to care about anyone but myself. Revenge seemed like the only option. So I hunted my uncle's murderer down to an abandoned warehouse. I had him up against a wall, and I was going to take away from him what he had taken from me. To be honest, I wanted to kill him, I really did. But then I remembered what my Uncle Ben told me before he died, "With great power must also come great responsibility". I chose not to go down that dark path, and instead, use my powers to protect those who can't protect themselves. Spider-man was the end result."

After the wall-crawler finished, the Justice League processed his words. Batman could tell that his story was sincere, but he sensed that Spider-man was hiding something underneath his little sob story. And when the Dark Knight has a hunch, he'll travel to hell and back to figure it out.

"I've got a question," the Flash piped up, snapping everyone out of their trance, "If you're only 17, then why do you call yourself Spider- _man_?"

Spidey also snapped out of his uncharacteristically sad mood and put on a grin, "It wasn't exactly my idea. The press labeled me as _the Amazing Spider-man_ , and it kind of stuck. If they hadn't I would've called myself something cooler like the Scarlet Spider."

"Nah, that's still pretty lame." Flash opinionated.

"Well your life story is interesting and all, but that still doesn't explain how you got here." Batman interrupted once again.

Peter turned back to the man in black with an annoyed look written all over his face. _Does this guy make a living out of sticking his pointy bat nose into everyone's business?_

The web-slinger was about to respond, but a voice that radiated power came from nowhere and replied to Batman's statement instead, "I believe I may be able to assist you on that subject."

Peter squinted as there was a flash of golden light, what looked like a glowing "T" with a hoop at the top, appeared in front of the group of heroes. Out of the glowing symbol floated a man with a suit somewhat like Superman's, except it was blue and gold with a large yellow stone where the "S" would have been. The strange man also wore a bucket-like helmet covering his head. The light faded as the man descended to the floor.

"Sooo… is it just me, or did anyone else see Doctor Strange poof out of nowhere? 'Cause last I checked I was still sane." The Spider looked from the caped man to the team around him.

"No Spider-man, you are not insane. Although the man you speak of is my other-worldly counterpart. My name is Doctor Fate."

Peter walked up to the man in yellow so that they were face to face and squinted suspiciously. "So you know who I am?"

Doctor Fate nodded. "You are well known in the realm of magics, ever since that battle involving Dormammu. Not many that are so poorly skilled in the magic arts have been able to save an entire dimension from collapsing."

"Well thanks, I—wait, now I don't know whether to feel proud or offended." He shrugged. "Eh, I'll just go with both. Didn't you say you had an explanation for the whole "teleported to another dimension thing?"

-Batman POV-

During this conversation, Batman had been thinking- or was it brooding? Anyways, Doctor Fate was another of the many people he didn't trust. The most prominent reason was that wizard's essence was actually trapped the helmet, and whoever wore the helmet became Doctor Fate. Although the wielder acquired unimaginable power, that power came at a price.

"Didn't you say you had an explanation for the whole "teleported to another dimension thing"?" Spider-man's words regained the Bat's attention.

"Yes. Well, apparently you were caught in one of the few inter-dimensional anomalies that often happen after some sort of larger anomaly. Did your world by any chance experience a rip in time space recently?"

Peter nodded, "Yeah, a few months ago there was an alien invasion via giant hole in the sky. I thought the portal was destroyed. Just another mistake made by the Avengers that fudges up my life, and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse."

* * *

 **(You pulled a Doctor Fate!?)**

 _ **Yup! Pretty awesome right?**_

 **[No not awesome. Extremely not awesome]**

 _ **What are you talking about! This is all a part of my master plan, trust me.**_

 **[That's like telling Deadpool to stop blowing things up]**

 **(You've got to admit, Fate's helmet looks like a frick'n bucket!)**

 **[But you're not even following your own story line!] *Throws papers in the air***

 **(Are you even paying attention to me?)**

 _ **Listen White, you of all people should support crazy randomness.**_

 **(I'm gonna go blow up the White House)**

 **[Of course I support crazy randomness, I also know a crappy story when I see one!]**

 _ **Oh, so**_ **my** _ **story's crappy now? Well kiss my-**_

 **BOOM!**

 **[What was that?]**

 _ **Didn't Yellow say something about the White House?**_

 **[….]**

 **...**

 **[Uh oh]** _ **Oh crabapples!**_

 **So tada! I got another one in! Like I said before, I love torturing you all with cliffhangers. It's like one of my favorite hobbies. That and killing kittens. But back to all seriousness, I felt that I didn't really need to go all boring narrator type and do detailed explanations of what superheroes look like. 'Cause I'm pretty sure you're all fluent in nerd and know what the frick'n Avengers costumes are! Also, I'm not saying I'm running out of ideas, but I really want to know what you think should happen in this story. I already have a pretty good idea of what happens next, but hey, when life gives you lemons…. make TNT!**


	4. Carefull What You Wish For

**Disclaimer: Marvel and DC do not belong to me, if they did I would be in glee! *Sing-song voice***

 _ **Yes sir—I know sir—I'm working on that sir—I'm sorry Mr. President—yes, I'm sure that was your favorite bathroom—uh huh—yeah, ok bye.**_

 _ ***Slams down phone***_

 _ **WHAT THE SNIZZLEFITTZ WERE YOU THINKING?!**_

 **(I got bored. Besides, it seemed all you do is talk to White instead of me)**

 _ **Are you jealous?**_

 **(NO! Well maybe a little)**

 **[You're just a whiney, snot-nosed kid who needs attention 24/7]**

 **(Exactly! Maybe if you paid a little more attention to me then I wouldn't get bored and blow stuff up!)**

 _ **It's just that White and I have so much in common…**_

 **(But I'm cooler!)**

 **[Nice try Yellow, you're not telling the story]**

 **(Why not? I'm an excellent writer! I even used the word "excellent")**

 _ **Using fancy words doesn't make you a writer.**_

 **(Says the guy who uses the word "signatory"! What does that even mean?)**

 **[It means you need to pay more attention in English class]**

 **(But learning is boring!)**

 _ **You're hopeless.**_

 **(Who me?) [Who me?]**

 _ **No I'm talking to my dead cat—YES YOU!**_

 **(We have a cat?)**

 **[A dead one apparently]**

 **(So that joke about killing kittens was true?! MURDERER!)**

 _ **Oh, so Deadpool slicing someone's head off is completely normal.**_

 **(Killing kittens is entirely different)**

 _ **Give me one good reason why.**_

 **(….)**

 **(Whoops! Look at that, we're all out of time for today! Now on to our regularly scheduled program!)**

 **[Nice save]**

* * *

Chapter 4: Careful What You Wish For

Peter drifted off as the Good Doctor continued to explain in great detail the wonders of science. _Why me? Out of every single vigilante in New York, the Avengers picked_ me _to harp on. They could they have gone and given the more violent dudes like Daredevil or Punisher a hard time. But no, they just_ had _to knock around your friendly neighborhood Spider-man!_

The young hero began venting under his breath. That is, until he noticed Doctor Fate had stopped talking, and everyone was staring at him. "What, do I have something on my face, or am I just that ugly."

The Flash snicker at Spidey's comment while Green Arrow shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Were you even paying attention to Doctor Fate? Or do you need to get your feelings out again. If so, then I think everyone would like to hear it." Batman suggested, with a look that could only be described as smug.

Damn, this guy was really getting on his nerves. "As a matter of fact I was thinking about starting a talk show."

Flash looked from one superhero to the other. _Good thing their eyes don't shoot lasers, because I'm pretty sure that's what would be happening right about now._

Superman coughed, snapping the rivals out of their glaring contest. "I think we should focus on the more immediate matters."

The two, knowing this man indeed _could_ shoot lasers from his eyes, decided to drop their little argument.

"Ok, I've got a question for the Doc here," Spider-man said, turning back to the bucket-head, "Do you think, since you've got all those magical powers and stuff, that you could possibly send me back to my dimension? Because I'm _really_ late for work, and my boss will kill me. Literally, he will skin me alive and put my head on a stake to warn his other employees never to cross him." Ok, maybe not skin him alive, but he still didn't need to hear it from Jameson after the week he'd been having.

Bruce raised an eyebrow under his mask, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "You have a job?"

The wall-crawler stuck out his tongue, then shut his mouth as he realized how childish that must have looked.

"I am sorry Spider-man, I'm afraid that is not possible. It requires an enormous amount of magical power that even I cannot attain without assistance."

Spidey saddened at the sorcerer's words.

"Although, there is another way that you may be able to return to your home.

Peter scowled at Doctor Fate in mock annoyance, "Well, way to lead a Spider on Doc! Just give me the news already!" The arachnid-themed vigilantly didn't know why he was so impatient to get home. _These guys aren't that bad actually. Well, mister "I don't do happy" is a pain in the rear web-shooter, but the others seem like good people. I wouldn't mind sticking around for a bit. Wow, I even quip in my thoughts, I am so lame._

 _ **You really are.**_

Peter froze. Where did that other voice come from?

The Emerald Archer noticed Spidey's expression, "You okay kid?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking to myself. You said something about an alternative to the magic portal?"

 _I must be going crazy. Dang, I really don't want to end up like Deadpool. Mental note: Stop talking to yourself before self talks back._

Doctor Fate on the other hand, continued to answer Spider-man's earlier question with one of his own. "Do you remember the reward you denied when you saved that dimension from Dormmamu?"

"How could I forget? They offered me a universal wish! That's not something you can just find at a dollar store."

Flash stopped him right there, "Hold on a second, tell me if I get this right. So someone gives you a wish, but not just any wish, one you can do _anything_ you want with. And you tell them you don't need it?!"

Peter just shrugged it off, but the others wouldn't drop the subject.

"You could have been a millionaire"

"You could have had _way_ cooler superpowers"

"You could have—"

"Saved Uncle Ben? Yeah, I knew exactly what kind of power I turned down." Spider-man's mood darkened. "But I don't see the point in bring that up. It's gone, I told them I didn't want to screw up reality any more than necessary."

Doctor Fate responded, "That is not particularly true."

"What is it now? Stop beating around the bush and spill already!"

"When you rejected their gift it merely disappeared, so if you changed your mind someday, you could summon it again."

"Well they never bothered to tell _me_ that! What is it with them and their secrets?"

"For the love of exploding arrows, who the hell are you talking about?!" Exclaimed Robin Hood, who looked like he was about to lose it.

"Oh, just this advanced alien civilization whose name I can't pronounce." The web-slinger replied.

"Yeah, 'cause that makes total sense."

Peter ignored the annoyed archer and turned his attention back to Doctor Fate, "So how do I "summon" my early birthday present? Abracadabra? Shazam? I want to make my wish now?"

With that last extremely lame-sounding try, a bright yellow light much like Fate's exploded in front of the surprised young hero. So surprised in fact, that Peter stumbled backwards and landed on his spider butt. The light dimmed to reveal a floating golden orb, with an unusual light swirling inside.

Embarrassed, Peter scrambled upright and brushed himself off.

 _ **I thought you'd be used to things exploding in your face by now.**_

There it was again! What was with that weird voice? The teen would have thought more of it, if he wasn't currently focusing on the familiar object at his feet.

 **Marvel Universe: Avengers Tower**

They felt betrayed, but that is to be expected after SHIELD lied to them about Spider-man. No, not Spider-man. Peter Parker. The 17-year-old "threat" they were sent to bring in. Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, quit SHIELD soon after he joined the Avengers. At this very moment, he figured it was the best decision he ever made. In any other case he would have just chucked it up to the list of SHIELD screw-ups, but tricking them into hunting down and attacking a kid no less. This time they had gone too far.

All the Avengers felt the same way. Banner sat moping on the leather couch in the main room; Thor angrily paced across the floor, swinging his hammer in his hand; Tony was taking his frustration out on some new tech at the bar; and Cap was probably knocking the life out of some poor punching bag in the rec room. Natasha had disappeared right after the Spider-man incident. Figures, she never quit SHIELD and was probably in on the whole set up. Betrayed yet again.

Clint was about to continue firing arrows at a picture of his one-eyed former boss, but was suddenly knocked off his perch by burst of swirling green light.

 **DC Universe: Justice League Watchtower**

A few minutes earlier…

"So… how should I go about this. Will it do that cliché thing where I accidentally wish for something, but I get it anyways? Do I need to wear a head turban and pointy shoes? Can I wish for more wishes? I really hope that's the case, so I can stop asking these questions to no one in particular."

To be honest, the only reason he was talking so much was because he was extremely nervous. Well, that and because it ticked off Batman.

 _ **At least that part is working. The look on his face is priceless!**_

 _You again! Who are you, and what are you doing in my head?_

 _ **I'm you, obviously.**_

 _I was right. I am going crazy!_

 _ **No, you're not crazy. I'm just your roommate.**_

 _Then you're like Deadpool's voices?_

 _ **Think less insanity, more logic.**_

 _So you're my conscience?_

 _ **Of sorts, yeah.**_

 _I would interrogate you more, but the Little Leaguers are staring._

 _ **You should knock their heads together to make sure their eyes are working.**_

His "roommate's" last comment set Peter off a little, but the Justice League really _was_ staring again. The vigilante coughed to break the awkwardness. "Sorry, it's just so shiny."

Batman huffed at the kid's lack of seriousness. _Is this all a game to him? That much power at his fingertips, and all does is joke about it. Now that I think about it, all he seems to do is joke._ Batman, being the kick-ass detective that he is, knew when someone was hiding something.

And damn, was Peter Parker hiding something.

* * *

 **(It's over?! NOOOO!)**

 **[You must be upset since you used upper-case]**

 **(Damn your love of cliffhangers SpiderPool!)**

 _ **I know, I really have to stop doing that.**_

 **(You even put Other in this one!)**

 **[I miss that guy]**

 _ **Other was part of my master plan, White. I told you to trust me.**_

 **[Which I still don't]**

 **(I hate you!)**

 _ **I know you mean love!**_

 **[I'm pretty sure he means hate]**

 **(You bet I do!)**

 _ **If it makes you guys feel any better, I'll try to get the next one done as soon as possible.**_

 **(I still hate you)**

 **[Question, what was with the Avengers?]**

 _ **One word… CLIFFHANGER!**_

 **(I'M GONNA KILL HIM!)**


	5. Call Me Other

**Disclaimer: I don't own DC or Marvel so-**

 **(Oh, just forget the disclaimer and get straight to the story already!)**

 _ **You can't rush art.**_

 **[I'm with Yellow on this one, the readers want a story]**

 _ **I'm pretty sure everyone skips our conversations anyways.**_

 **[Now that's just wrong]**

 **(HEY READER! YEAH, I'M TALK'N TO YOU! READ US! WE'RE IMPORTANT AND HILARIOUS!)**

 **[That'll get them reviewing]**

 **(Well, SpiderPool gets weird when he reads comments)**

 _ **That is because I'm a cyber vampire. I feed off the comments of others, and when I gain enough power, I WILL CONTROL THE WORLD OF FANFICTION! MWAHAHAHAHA!**_

 **(You are so lame)**

 **[I second the motion]**

 **(The motion is carried, proceed with execution)**

 _ **Look guys, we can work this out! Is this about forgetting Taco Tuesday?**_

 **[You don't just forget Taco Tuesday, Taco Tuesday forgets you]**

 _ **That makes absolutely no sense.**_

 **(Wait! I know what he's doing! SpiderPool's bringing up random subjects so this conversation never gets to the story!)**

 **[I am so proud]**

 _ **Ok guys, I really need to write this. I have some leftover tacos in the fridge if—**_

 **(MINE!) [MINE!]**

 ***locks door***

 _ **That should keep them busy. Well, at least until they don't find tacos.**_

 ***Background* (What the hell?!) [I'm gonna kill him!]**

 _ **Which apparently doesn't take as long as I thought.**_

* * *

Chapter 5: Call Me Other

"Alright, I need to think this wish through."

Peter really didn't want to screw up reality, which was the reason he rejected the wish in the first place. But he knew that wasn't the only thing that was bothering him.

 _I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm going back is because I need to protect New York._

 _ **There's a New York here isn't there? Besides, the other one has an entire team of superheroes dead center.**_

 _But the Avengers don't look out for the little people. If I stay, who knows what'll happen._

 _ **Daredevil will take care of it.**_

 _He only protects Hell's Kitchen._

 _ **Punisher?**_

 _Out of the question!_

 _ **Just leave it to the other supers for once! You're not the only one out there!**_

 _Question, what should I call you?_

 _ **I don't know, you figure it out!**_

 _Phil?_

 _ **No.**_

 _Jarvis?_

 _ **No.**_

 _Kirby?_

 _ **Heck no! Just call me Other.**_

 _That's a weird name._

 _ **Says the guy who wanted to call himself "the Human Spider".**_

 _Touché._

Peter's attention reverted back the glowing yellow orb. He couldn't just wish to be teleported back to his dimension. It might misfire because of the enormous amount of energy Doctor Fate said it took. Peter also wanted to have a way back in case that happened. Then an idea struck him.

"Hey Doc, will this wish work if I give a detailed description of what I want?"

The sorcerer though for a moment. "I believe that is possible, what do you have in mind?"

The vigilante reached down to his utility belt that was still hidden in the lower half of his suit. The top half had been cut off earlier when he was being patched up. Spidey pulled out a pen and piece of paper, the ones he used to write his "friendly neighborhood Spider-man" notes.

 _ **That's right Batman. You're not the only one with a utility belt!**_

 _We'll rub it in his face later._

Peter wrote down the desired wish onto the note, and showed it to Fate. He nodded and said, "That could work. Just focus on your wish, I'm sure the orb will know what you desire."

The wall-crawler focused on the orb again.

 _ **That's a complex wish. Do you think it'll work?**_

 _Honestly, I have no idea._

 _ **Just perfect.**_

Peter looked down at the piece of paper and creased his brow in concentration. Almost immediately, the sphere burst and the golden light inside seeped into Spider-man. A few seconds passed, with still no sign of anything happening.

"Maybe it's passed its expiration date?" Green Arrow suggested to break the silence.

Batman scowled at Peter, "You screwed up. No surprise."

The smart-mouthed hero merely smirked and replied, "That would be the case… if I had wished to go home."

The assembly looked at the receiver of the wish in surprise. "So you did not wish to return to your universe?" J'onn questioned.

"Not exactly my green friend."

"Now look who's beating around the bush," Wonder Woman teased.

"Ok, I had to be careful when making this wish. If I asked to be teleported to my dimension, and it messed up, I would have no way back. So I decided to wish for the ability to create portals to and from this world and my own."

He let his words sink in for a moment. But it didn't take long for Batman to come up with something to say.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? Ripping holes between worlds, which could destroy both our dimensions! What were you thinking?"

 _ **He has no idea what we're capable of! How dare he judge us.**_

 _Calm down roomy, I feel the same way. But he does have a point, I don't even know if I can control that much power._

 _ **Of course we can control it. Wait, did you just agree with Batman?**_

 _Write a memo, it'll last longer. Now shut up so I can make a witty comeback._

And that he lived up to. "What I was _thinking_ , was if I meet some… old friends, I might need to get out of there. But on second thought, who would want to come home to that face."

Although Bruce _really_ wanted to stick this guy with an exploding batarang, he could tell Spidey was afraid of something; something from his own dimension. _But what?_

 _ **I think he's on to us.**_

 _Who, Belfry Bat? Why?_

 _ **Cause he just got that "I know you're up to something and I'm gonna bust you" look.**_

 _He has one of those?_

 _ **See for yourself.**_

Peter glanced at the accused. Bat's was indeed using said look.

 _Okay, that's creepy._

 _ **No, it's bad for business. You're gonna have to tell them eventually.**_

 _I know, just play it cool for now._

 _ **Hey, it's not like I'm the one suspiciously messing with his web-shooters—oh wait.**_

Peter looked down at his hands. He was doing it _again_!

"Batman has a valid point, but thing I'm most worried about is this power's effect on you," Superman said in a worried voice.

The bucket-headed magician calmed the super's suspicions. "Spider-man involved a fail-safe in his wish. If it would ever to get out of control, his new power would be completely shut down. Eliminating all chances of an inter-dimensional catastrophe."

Superman nodded in approval. Batman on the other hand, well, he was a different story.

"That still doesn't change the fact that there is a big risk if you use this power. You don't even know if it works yet."

Peter face became guarded. "There is always a risk, I knew that since the day I became Spider-man. There is always someone who will get hurt because of me, and I can't save them. But my city is all I have left, and I'm not going to lose that too."

Batman couldn't take the secrecy any more. Ironic, considering his life choices.

"Why do you keep saying stuff like that? You had better come up with a good explanation in five seconds or I'm shooting you out the airlock."

 _ **You're dead.**_

 _If I'm dead then so are you._

 _ **You can't talk yourself out of this one, Spidey.**_

 _You're not helping, Other! Any ideas?_

 _ **You could rip out his tongue so he can never question us again.**_

 _Eww, gross… and dark._

 _ **Well you'd better come up with something, your audience awaits!**_

"I hate you."

"What?"

Peter looked up at Batman, just realizing he said that last part out loud.

 _ **Nice comeback.**_

 _Shut up._

"Um, I wasn't talking to you. I—"

 _ **Idiot! Don't tell them about us!**_

 _There is no 'us'. There's just 'you' being disturbing!_

"So who _were_ you talking to?" Oliver questioned.

"Um… myself?"

 _ **Damn you, Parker! What did I just say?**_

 _What? It's not like they have a… oh._

 _ **Yes, that's right. They**_ **do** _ **have a telepath.**_

 _You should have warned me!_

 _ **That's what your spider-sense if for genius!**_

 _Maybe if you shut up he won't hear you._

 _ **Maybe if you do something stupid they'll forget about it.**_

"So are you going to answer my question? Because I am completely prepared to dangle you from a building if necessary." Batman stated, clearly having none of it.

 _Alright, truth it is._

 _ **We're dead.**_

Peter looked around to his recently acquired allies and began to explain, "I wasn't completely honest with you. You see, in my dimension there is this Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division; otherwise known as SHIELD. It's kind of their job to keep tabs on every powered and non-powered threat on or off earth, and my parents worked for them. You see, the plane they died in wasn't sabotaged by Oscorp… it was sabotaged by SHIELD. My father knew that SHIELD had a history of turning things that were meant to help people, into weapons, so they ran away. But SHIELD thought my parents knew too much, so they hunted them down and sent an assassin to infiltrate the plane to bring them in. I guess it didn't turn out as they planned."

Peter was angry on the inside. So much pain over so little. A few stupid inventions, and it cost them their lives. The 17-year-old continued,

"And it doesn't end there. A few weeks before I ended up here, SHIELD decided to go through their list of threats to eliminate. The director, Nick Fury, had the secret identities of every superhero in New York. All except one, Spider-man. That was the case because I frequently hacked into SHIELD to erase all the data they had that might lead to my identity. And you can imagine this pissed Fury off a lot. So he decided to call in the big guns, the Avengers, to bring me in."

"Being the team genius, Iron Man hacked into my spider tech and traced it to my home. Fury sent SHIELD agents to swarm my house, I wasn't home at the moment because I was doing everything that a spider could. Unfortunately, my Aunt May was home."

Peter squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from showing. "It was all too much for her, and when they told her that I was Spider-man… her heart couldn't take it."

Peter slumped to the ground with his head in his hands, but carried on. "They're all gone. My parents, Uncle Ben, Captain Stacy, my best friend, my girlfriend Gwen, and now Aunt May. I couldn't save any of them."

The Justice League could feel his sorrow coming off him in waves. They also felt a strong sense of compassion for this young man who had gone through so much in his short life.

Even Batman swallowed his pride and said, "I had no idea you had lost everyone. I apologize."

Spider-man stiffened, then stood to his feet with fire in his eyes. "Well the past is the past, complaining about it won't bring them back. If my losses make me who I am, then I wouldn't want to change a single moment of my life. Not even with a magic wish."

The gathering of superheroes were overwhelmed with pride, and even respect.

 _ **How touching. I think I'm gonna puke.**_

 _Just shut up and enjoy the moment._

 _ **It was cheesy.**_

 _Well, I thought it was a cool line._

 _ **Whatever. So are you going to tell them the rest or not?**_

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the rest."

All the superheroes listened closely to Spider-man's next words.

"Since SHIELD knew where I lived, I camped out in an abandoned warehouse. I needed to stay out of sight, since the Avengers were searching everywhere for me. Which meant no Spider-man, as much as I hated not to."

"A few weeks later, I heard reports that the Lizard had escaped from prison. And having this annoying hero complex, I couldn't stand by while he killed innocent people. I was in the middle of kicking his butt, when low and behold, the Avengers showed up. But instead of helping like the good superheroes are supposed to do, they decided I was more of a threat then a giant lizard!"

Peter rubbed the bandaged gashes on his chest. "And man, was he a threat. Next thing I know, I'm falling off the building and crashing your knitting club."

After a few more minutes of intense questions, Parker's attention was brought back to the important matter.

 _ **So, are you gonna test out your powers already or what?**_

* * *

 _ ***Muffled noises***_

 **(Well that's what you get for messing with our tacos!)**

 **[There weren't any]**

 **(My point!)**

 _ ***Rips off gag* I needed to concentrate on this chapter.**_

 **[I guess we can be a little annoying at times]**

 _ ***Cough* A little?**_

 **(Just be glad we don't torch you with a flamethrower after that taco stunt)**

 **[I'm surprised the door held for that long]**

 _ **Sorry. Mexican food was the only way to get rid of you two.**_

 ***whimper* (So no tacos?)**

 _ **We already established that.**_

 **[Well you updated the story quick, so you're forgiven]**

 _ **Because tomorrow is chimichanga Saturday.**_

 **[Bingo]**

 **(CHIMICHANGAS!)**


	6. We're Not in Kansas Anymore

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC Universe, unfortunately.**

 **[So… are the Avengers FINALLY gonna show up?]**

 _ **I hope so, it's taken longer than expected to get to this point.**_

 **[I told you to stick with the script]**

 _ **But the script is boring! I just got some new ideas that will blow your mind!**_

 **[I highly doubt that]**

 **(Did someone mention explosives?!)**

 _ **What, have you been living in a cave this whole time?**_

 **(A batcave to be precise!)**

 **[WHAT?! How come he gets to see it first?!]**

 **(Because I'm awesome, that's why!)**

 _ **You got past Alfred?**_

 ***gulp* (Heh, heh. Not exactly)**

 ***flashing lights***

-Red alert—Batmobile incoming-

 _ **YOU ARE SO DEAD!**_

* * *

Chapter 6: We're Not in Kansas Anymore

 _ **So, are you gonna test out your powers already or what?**_

 _My power. Of course, how could I forget?_

"So, are we done playing twenty questions, or can I try out my new thingamajig?"

A few seconds later…

The Justice League (and Dr. Bucket-Head) circled around in the main room, it had much more space than the cramped medical bay they were all stuffed in earlier. It was the perfect place to test Spidey's new abilities. Said person stood in the center of the room, with an oversized sweatshirt that he borrowed from Flash to cover his bandages. His mask had returned to his face, in case if anyone from his world saw him. Although, he figured that SHIELD had his identity all over the news by now.

Peter rubbed his hands together and spoke. "So Doc, you're the expert on magic mumbo jumbo. How do I do this?"

"I assume that you must focus on the place in your world that you wish to be. Your home or school for instance."

 _That won't work, SHIELD probably has spies everywhere. I need to think of a place that they'd never think to look._

 _ **Or you could just not go back at all. You don't owe New York anything. All they've ever done is shoot at you and curse you. You're just a menace to them.**_

 _Well aren't you a ray of sunshine._

 _ **Just stating the obvious. Someone has to.**_

 _Are you sure you're my conscience? You're not very positive._

 _ **I told you I'm a conscience "of sorts". I never said I was the positive kind.**_

 _Well that makes me feel_ so _much better._

 _ **I'm not here to make you feel good about yourself. I'm here you help you wake up. Your life isn't a game anymore, it only reminds you that you're alive and they're not. To achieve true power, you need to be willing to move past your moral code. Then nothing will be able to hurt you ever again.**_

Peter insides flipped over. What was this—this _thing_ in his head? How could something claiming to be himself be so… evil?

The Other could sense his counterpart's panic.

 _ **Psych! You are so gullible, Parker! The look on your face!**_

The wall-crawler's fists clenched in annoyance.

"That wasn't funny, Other! I thought you were actually evil there for a second! Don't screw with my head like that."

 _ **Out loud again!**_

"Whoops, I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut."

"So you finally figured it out," Batman grunted. "Who were you taking to?"

 _ **If you say "myself" again I will sing One Direction in your head for the rest of your life.**_

"To be honest, so much goes through my head every day that sometimes stuff just comes out when I'm nervous."

 _ **No one's gonna buy that.**_

"I'll buy it for now,"

 _ **I stand corrected.**_

 _ **"**_ But if this doesn't work, we'll need to have J'onn search your mind for anything… unusual."

 _ **Can we PLEASE knock Batman out already?**_

 _No._

 _ **If we don't, then he'll find me!**_

 _Tough._

 _ **You're not still mad about that little prank are you?**_

 _I don't know, you figure it out._

 _ **Now you're just being cruel.**_

Spider-man shrugged and replied to Batman's statement, "Sure, I've already told you everything. It's not like there's anything to hide. Although, I still don't like people poking around in my head."

Superman held up his hand, "It's alright Peter, I trust you. There's no need to make yourself feel uncomfortable. Besides, we're hoping that this power works right?"

Spider-man smiled behind his mask, then closed his eyes to focus on his power. After a few seconds, he felt energy flowing through him.

 _Here we go, just focus on where you want to go and…_

 _ **Don't think about Avengers Tower.**_

 _Other!_

And with that, there was a flash of light. Out of the light appeared a swirling green vortex, a little bit larger than Spider-man. The Justice League stepped back from the portal Peter had just created.

"It- it's amazing!" Exclaimed Diana in awe at the spectacle.

"Well that is my name, don't wear it out," Spidey quipped, attempting to hide his panic.

 _Oh no, what if I created a portal in Avengers Tower? Other, you idiot!_

 _ **You're welcome.**_

"So, how do we know you won't explode when you go through?" Asked Green Arrow.

Peter spun a web ball into his one hand with the other. Then he wound back his arm, pitcher style, and chucked it into the glowing target. Almost immediately, they all heard a loud yelp emanate from inside.

"What the heck was that?" Asked the familiar voice of a certain former SHIELD agent.

"I don't know. It looks like a portal." Answered another.

"Hey, Tony! Get over here and check it out!"

"No thanks, me and giant holes in the sky don't mix," Tony replied.

"But it's not giant _or_ in the sky!"

"Fear not my friends! I shall be the first to as you say "check out" this witchcraft!"

After hearing this conversation from his side, there was no doubt about it. Peter recognized that kind of talk anywhere. And as he predicted, the golden-haired head of the god of thunder Thor, poked through the portal just moments later. Spotting Spider-man, Thor's face lit up in joy as he informed his teammates, "Tis a day for celebration! The Man of Spiders has come to greet us!"

"WHAT?!" Three voices exclaimed in unison.

And all at once, the owners those three voices rushed through the swirling vortex. It was Bruce Banner (the Hulk), Tony Stark (Iron Man), and Clint Barton (Hawkeye). At first they were excited to see Spider-man, but their expressions changed as they finally noticed the others behind him.

"You forgot to mention the cosplayers," Hawkeye grumbled.

Thor rubbed his head in embarrassment, "But our friend Spider seem more important at the moment."

Tony ignored the two and turned to Peter with a grin, "Good to see ya Spidey! Where have you been? We've been looking all over for you!"

Peter clenched his fists and replied with venom in his voice, "I bet you have."

Tony's happy face turned to one of guilt. "I'm really sorry about that, we all are. SHIELD tricked us into hunting you down."

"You would be the one to say that wouldn't you?" The web-slinger answered coldly.

"But it's the truth! We would never have attacked you if SHIELD hadn't told us you murdered Captain Stacy," Hawkeye protested.

Spider-man's heart skipped a beat.

 _What?_

 _ **You should kill that one-eyed monster.**_

 _Say what?_

 _ **You heard me. Just kill him.**_

 _Ok, for a second there I thought you said to—WAIT, YOU THINK I SHOULD KILL HIM?!_

 _ **Yup.**_

 _You can't be serious?_

 _ **Deadly.**_

 _Oh, ha ha, very funny. You got me, now cut it out._

 _ **I'm not joking.**_

 _You're not joking? For reals?_

 _ **Nick Fury is the reason your life is gone. Now you should return the favor.**_

 _Alright, at first you came off a little grim and gritty, but now I know you're just plain evil._

 _ **Geez, give it a rest, goody-two-webs. I'm just messing with you.**_

 _You just told me to kill Director Fury. How can that be defined as "messing with me"?_

 _ **I have a dark sense of humor. Probably because I'm the part of you that DIED.**_

 _So then you're my darker thoughts or something?_

 _ **Or something.**_

 _That's not fair!_

 _ **Life's not fair kid, deal with it. Oh, and you should probably pay attention to your buddies, cause I think they're arguing over you.**_

 _What?!_

* * *

 _ **Yes sir—I know sir—I'm working on that sir—I'm sorry Batman—yes, I'm sure that was your favorite butler—uh huh—yeah, okay bye.**_

 _ ***Slams door***_

 _ **WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!**_

 **(I got bored… again)**

 _ **SO YOU GO TICK OFF BATMAN?!**_

 **(Technically, I ticked off Alfred, which in turn ticked off Batman)**

 **YOU COULD TICK OF** _ **BATGIRL**_ **FOR ALL I CARE! IT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU GOT TWO RESTRICTING ORDERS FROM S.H.E.I.L.D. IN ONE WEEK!**

 **[I'm sure he's sorry, SpiderPool. Aren't you, Yellow?]**

 **(Nope! I enjoyed every second of it!)**

 **WHY YOU LITTLE—**

 **[CAN YOU STOP USING CAPSLOCK ALREADY?! IT'S GIVING ME A HEADACHE!]**

 _ **Whoa.**_

 **(White yelled at you? He never yells at you!)**

 _ **Yikes.**_

 **[Sorry]**

 _ **Chill dude, peace and whatever.**_

 **(So how come he always yells at me! It's not fair!)**

 **[And I quote: Life's not fair kid, deal with it.]**


	7. With Friends Like These

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC comics… there, I said it.**

 **[What took you so long? It's been forever since your last chapter!]**

 _ ***Snore***_

 **(YO, SPIDERPOOL! WAKE UP!)**

 _ **Huh? What? Oh yeah, sorry about that.**_

 **(What do you mean SORRY! Don't you remember what it feels like to wait forever for new chapters?)**

 _ **Yes! That is exactly why I'm screwing my schoolwork and writing this stupid thing!**_

 **[Oh, but I thought you were watching anime all this time]**

 _ **Shut up, White. I've been having computer problems.**_

 **(Sure you have)**

 _ **Alrighty then… on to the story!**_

 **(Finally!) [Finally!]**

* * *

Chapter 7: With Friends Like These…

Meanwhile, during Spidey and Other's conversation…

Batman studied their newly arrived guest from Spider-man's dimension. There were four of them: the big blonde with the hammer; a smaller man in purple with a bow at his side; a nervous looking guy with glasses and messy hair; and the jerk who greeted Peter like they were the best of friends. That last guy had a faint glow emanating from his chest, so Batman proceeded confronting him with caution.

"Are you the Avengers Spider-man told us about?" Batman questioned.

Spidey's buddy wannabe replied with a cocky grin. "Depends, do I owe you money?"

 _Wonderful, another smart-ass to deal with._

"I asked you a question. Are you the Avengers?" Batman prodded, not planning to let up.

"Who wants to know?"

"Hey, we asked you first!" complained the Flash.

The purple version of the Arrow countered, "Well, you're the ones who put a freaking portal in our living room. Not to mention socking me in the head!"

"Actually, that was Spider-man's doing," Doctor Fate commented as he watched from a distance.

This led to everyone looking at Spider-man, who didn't seem to be paying attention to their conversation whatsoever. Batman couldn't tell what he was thinking because of that damn mask over his face. But Martian Man-Hunter knew exactly what Peter was thinking, and he didn't like it.

"Wait a second, I thought there were supposed to be six of you," Green Arrow said, changing the subject.

"That's none of your business. Oh, and if you wanted to copy my suit you should have change the color scheme," Hawkeye defended.

"You're one to talk. Who made yours, a five-year-old girl?" Oliver shot back.

Both archers stood face to face, and looked like they were about to start some epic shoot off. That is, until Wonder Woman bonked their heads together.

"Will you two stop acting all macho already? This isn't about you remember."

In fact, everyone had completely forgot about Spidey. Although, he hadn't noticed because of his little one-on-one with Other.

"Right, Spider-man. So are you coming back or what?" Tony posed the question.

Peter just stood there in deep thought, ignoring the fact that his former idol just spoke to him.

"What do you mean "go back"? You really think he's gonna go with you after everything you people have done to him?" Replied the now angered Flash.

"Yah, what right do you have to take him away? The whole reason he decided to go back to your dimension was because he takes way too much responsibility for everyone onto himself!" Exclaimed Diana, also coming to Peter's defense.

And so began the heated argument between the Avengers and the Justice League. After a few minutes of fighting over who had the right to keep Spidey, the subject of this chaos finally snapped.

"WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT IT!"

The two teams were taken aback at the arachnid's sudden outburst, but Spidey wasn't done yet.

"What is wrong with you people? I don't belong to anyone you know, so stop treating me like I'm some sort of object to fight over! This is my decision, so back off!"

Everyone just stood there with guilty looks on their faces. Now that they thought about it, it was kind of embarrassing to think about how childish they must have seemed from Peter's point of view.

 _ **You tell 'em Spidey!**_

 _I was talking to you too, Other!_

"Spider-man is right," a new voice that resonated authority spoke up.

They all turned to the portal to find the owner of the voice coming through. Low and behold, it was Captain America. He was all decked out in his red white and blue uniform, along with his signature matching shield at his side.

"Peter should be able to make his own decisions, so let's give him a chance to speak for himself."

The wall-crawler might have been angry off at him, but he was slightly grateful to the Captain as well.

 _ **So what are you gonna do? Please don't tell me you're going back with those douches!**_

 _Why not?_

 _ **Well let's see. They hunted us like an animal, screwed up our chance at a normal life, killed Aunt May. Need I go on?**_

 _Technically, all this happened to me, not you._

 _ **Technically, I'm supposed to be living it up in Hawaii. Deal with it.**_

 _New York needs me—_

 _ **Still pulling that one are we?**_

 _But what will happen if I'm not there to protect it?_

 _ **Tell the Avengers to do it!**_

 _That won't—Other you're a genius!_

 _ **Of course I am, but why are you mentioning it?**_

Peter turned to the Avengers with a new idea forming in his head.

"Alright, I'll make you guys a deal. I will stay in this dimension for now, but while I'm absent, all of you will need to take care of all the crime that I normally deal with."

The Avengers were about to protest, but Spidey stopped them.

"I'm not finished. Exactly one year from now, I will re-open the portal. If the crime rate is equal or lower than it was while I was around, then I'll come home."

While the Avengers pondered Spider-man's offer, Batman began to think about it himself.

 _I see what he's doing. By giving them a reason to help the little people, Peter is testing them to see if they can handle New York without him. They won't admit it, but New York depends on Spider-man more than they do the Avengers. If they can't complete his wish, then he will have no choice but to go back and deal with it himself. But if they do meet his expectations, he'll leave the responsibility to the Avengers to handle. Reverse phycology. This kid is cleverer than I thought._

During his thought process, Batman had unknowingly begun to smile. Unnoticeable to the rest, but still there.

Earth's Mightiest Heroes had come to a decision among themselves.

"Alright, we agree with your terms." Captain America said, turning to Spider-man, "Although I really wish you would reconsider. We've been wanting to have a little chat with Fury anyways."

Stark put on a sly grin. "And by chat, he means shoot a repulsor beam up his arse."

 _ **Tempting, but I was thinking something a little more fatal**_ _._

 _Dude, if that doesn't kill him, then I don't know what will._

 _ **Poison. Bullet to the heart. Snapping his neck…**_

 _Ever heard of overkill?_

 _ **Ever heard of sarcasm?**_

 _Yeah, it's all I ever hear from you._

 _ **Good one.**_

The Avengers said their goodbyes to Spidey, along with the strange allies he had made. Cap was still unsure about leaving Peter there with them, but he figured it was no longer his decision to make. All they could do now was wait, and maybe someday, they would get their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man back.

* * *

 **[Ah, what a happy ending]**

 _ **The story's not over idiot!**_

 **(Really? Cause that sounded like a pretty convincing ending to me)**

 **[My thoughts exactly]**

 _ **You just wait, I'll come up with something.**_

 **[You know, this would be a good time to ask for ideas]**

 **(Ha! I knew it! You've got writer's block!)**

 _ **Do not!**_

 **(Do too!)**

 _ **Do not!**_

 **(Do too!)**

 _ **Do not-**_

 **[That's enough you two, so are going to ask for ideas or what?]**

 _ **As a matter of fact, I have a certain character that I want to input.**_

 **(Deadpool?)**

 _ **No.**_

 **[It is** _ **so**_ **Deadpool]**

 _ **Is not!**_

 **[Is too!]**

 _ **Is not!**_

 **[Is too!]**

 **{Will you three shut up already? I'm trying to sleep here.}**

 _ **Other?**_ **(Other?) [Other?]**

 **{Who else would it be?}**

 **(Aw, it's just you)**

 **{You got a problem with that sunshine?}**

 _ **His name is Yellow, and you're not even supposed to be here.**_

 **{See if I care, I was just making sure you don't screw up the story is all}**

 **[Well it's definitely screwed up now that you're here]**

 **{Jealous?}**

 _ **Settle down guys, no need to get over excited. Now, as for you Other… GET OUT!**_

 **{What are you so afraid of SpiderPool? I don't bite.}**

 _ **The heck you don't! I can't have a psychopathic evil conscience messing with my head!**_

 **{I'm offended, I thought we were friends.}**

 _ **Yeah, like I'd—wait—where's Yellow and White?**_

 **{Taking a nap}**

 _ **Other, I swear if anything happened to them I'll—**_

 **{You'll what? Delete me?}**

 _ **What a swellegant idea!**_

 **{What the—}**

 **-Data Erased-**

 **Just here to remind you that reviewing saves lives. Well... it saves my life. And by life, I mean ego. So yeah! REVIEW PLEZ!**


	8. Who Needs Enemies?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC… deal with it.**

 _ **Hello guys, today's daily rant will be done without Yellow or White. Unfortunately, they now rest with the fishes…**_

 **(Hey! We're not dead you know!)**

 **[So stop talking like we are!]**

 _ **May they rest in peace.**_

 **(I think he's ignoring us)**

 **[I have an idea… TURN UP THE FREAKING VOLUME!]**

 **(Ok ok, yeesh, what's your problem today?)**

 _ **Oh, your back!**_

 **[We never left idiot, White had the Skype volume muted]**

 _ **And why is that?**_

 **[Cause he was watching a Daredevil marathon at Deadpool's place and he didn't want you to know]**

 _ **What! You were doing Marvel stuff without me?! I would have watched it with you!**_

 **(That's why I didn't want you to know!)**

 **[You see SpiderPool, you have a nasty habit to—how should I say this… geek out when it comes this kind of thing]**

 _ **Would you care to explain?**_

 **[Well it's kind of like-]**

 **(What he means is you start rambling on about all this comic-nerd stuff! NO ONE CARES! SO STOP INTERUPTING THE EPISODE EVERY FIVE SECONDS TO TELL A FUN-FACT!)**

 _ **Is it really that bad?**_

 **[YES!] (YES!)**

 _ **Alright, I get it. My kind has no use in this world anymore. I'll be leaving now…**_

 _ ***Slams door***_

 **(Look what you did! You hurt his feelings!)**

 **[Me? You're the one who used caps!]**

 **(What will we do now? Who'll write the story?)**

 **[Just leave it to me!]**

 **(We're all gonna die)**

 **[Hey! I've done this before! How hard can it be?]**

* * *

Chapter 8: Who Needs Enemies?

Peter watched as the swirling green vortex shrunk into a tiny dot, then disappeared. He felt exhausted. Apparently this new power took a lot out of him. It might be dangerous to over use it, so he decided not to until that fateful day, exactly one year from now.

 _Do you think they'll buy it?_

 _ **Hopefully, but at least you can get away for a while.**_

 _Get away from what, exactly? Responsibility?_

 _ **That**_ _ **was**_ _ **the plan right?**_

 _Just drop it. First I've got to have a little chat with the League of Justice._

 _ **It definitely sounds cooler when you say it that way, is that why Thor does it?**_

 _Thor wouldn't know cool if he was frozen in it for sixty years._

 _ **Touché.**_

Spidey turned his attention to his new allies.

"Alright, first things first. If I'm going to be working with you, then I have to know your names. I mean, you _do_ know each other's identities right? If not, then this is gonna be really awkward."

"Of course we know each other's identities, we're not _that_ insecure." Batman began pointing to each superhero, stating their names as he went along. "Flash is Barry Allen, Green Arrow is Oliver Queen, Martian Man-Hunter is J'onn J'onzz, Superman is Clark Kent, and you've already met Diana."

They all waited expectantly for Batman to continue, but Spider-man took the opportunity to have a little fun.

"And you are? Please don't tell me you're _that_ insecure as to keep your identity from me?" Peter teased.

The Dark Knight scowled and replied, "I don't trust anyone, especially not you, with my identity right off the bat."

Peter huffed and retorted, "Well you were pretty quick to give out your teammates' names."

"They would have told you anyways."

The wall-crawler grinned and said, "Give me five minutes with access to your computers, and I bet I can figure out who you are."

Batman thought it over for a moment, then replied, "How much?"

"What?"

"How much do you want to bet?"

"A hundred bucks," Peter answered.

"Your pretty cocky for someone without any money," Batman pointed out.

"Why do you think I made the bet? I'm broke in an alternate universe. But if you're so worried that I'll lose, then what's your condition?"

Bruce once again pondered Spidey's question. "If you lose, then you'll have to do whatever I tell you to do for the year you're in my world."

Other didn't like that.

 _ **Now look what you did! We're gonna have to obey Batty Man for a whole year!**_

 _Ye of little faith. Trust me, I got this._

"You've got a deal, Bats."

 _ **We're doomed.**_

And keeping to his word, exactly four minutes and fifty-six seconds later, Spidey jumped up from his chair at the computer screen with a whoop of victory. All the members gathered around to hear Peter's conclusion. He cleared his throat and began,

"I have figured out the Batman's secret identity."

 _He found me out that quickly? Impossible, there is no way. I admit, he is an intelligent kid, but people better than him have been searching for years without discovering my identity._

Peter continued, "First, I will explain the steps that led up to my answer. Since the internet has practically everything on superheroes, it was pretty easy to see that Gotham is Batman's home turf. Then came the hero analysis. It is obvious that Batman does not have superpowers, so there are two alternatives-"

"Who said I didn't have superpowers?"

 _He may lose the bet, but I that doesn't mean I'll go easy on him._

"I know you don't have powers because of your armor and utilities. Why would a powered person need both protection, _and_ added defense? I myself own a utility belt, but I don't need armor because it would only slow me down. On the other hand, you may have a psychological or unseen power that requires protection for your body. But you are obviously physically capable to handle yourself in those situations, so that is out of the question. The most logical explanation is that you don't have powers, but are highly skilled and require tools and armor to keep from being seriously injured when facing villains with powers that exceed your own abilities."

The majority of the Justice League was impressed. The majority minus Batman.

 _He was almost like a mini-Bats for a sec there!_ Flash thought as Spidey continued.

"So, as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, there are two alternatives: one, you're filthy rich; two, you're a trained assassin. You don't seem like the assassin type, so I went with rich. The second step was to figure out which billionaire you were, so I stuck to the least corrupted companies to try my luck. After I narrowed it down with a few details like height and physical features, I finally figured it out."

Peter paused for dramatic effect. "I have come the conclusion… that you are Bruce Wayne."

The assembly stared at the 17-year-old in shocked silence.

 _I can't believe it! How could he figure me out in under five minutes?!_

Their reaction told Spidey everything, "So, I'm right then? Wow, you all look pretty freaked out. I'm surprised the cops haven't figured it out yet. I mean seriously, it's so obvious and I'm not even from this dimension! Or maybe you just have your alien friend erase the world's memories every time someone figures it out."

The Justice League still didn't respond.

"Oh yeah, this means I won the bet right? So cough it up, Bats."

Bruce was angry. Like, super bat-glare angry. "How could you possibly discover my identity in only five minutes? I would believe it if you took a week or two, but this is practically impossible!"

 _ **Uh oh, you made him mad.**_

 _So it's my fault for being a genius?_

 _ **I don't think he expected you to figure it out.**_

 _You think? He looks like he wants to murder me!_

 _ **Try apologizing.**_

"Listen Bats, if this is about the money then you can just forget about it."

"Do you really think I care about something as trivial as that? What I want to know, is how it was so easy for you to find my identity?"

Peter sighed and rolled him eyes in annoyance. Of course, everyone saw it since he wasn't wearing his mask anymore. "I just gave you a step-by-step in great detail on how I figured it out, and you ask how I did it?"

Batman was less annoyed about the bet, and more annoyed about the fact that a kid could analyze and come to the conclusion that he was Bruce Wayne. Yes, his identity had been found out by others before, but Spider-man was from another dimension! He hadn't even heard about Batman up until a few hours ago! Either he cheated somehow, or Peter Parker was a genius.

Flash, unable to control himself, burst out in laughter.

"You should see the look on your face! I guess you're not the only one with killer detective skills!"

Batman shot the Scarlet Speedster a murderous look.

"I never said I was the only one with detective skills, I just didn't expect it from someone like him," Bruce growled through clenched teeth.

Peter took offense to this and replied, "What do you mean 'someone like me'? I'm just not good enough, is that it?"

Batman countered, "You may be smart, but that doesn't mean you've got the skills to play with the big guys."

"Oh yeah? Then why don't we test that theory?"

The others caught on to what was being implied.

"Wait, you two aren't seriously thinking about duking it out?" Arrow voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Why not? We were planning on testing his abilities anyways. And who better than Batman to analyze them?" J'onn suggested.

"Maybe. Do you think it would be safe for Peter to fight so soon after using his power?" Superman asked, turning to Doctor Fate.

But the question went unheard. The sorcerer was gone. This didn't surprise the Man of Steel, considering he probably had more important things to deal with. Clark instead reverted his attention to the two rival superheroes who were once again shooting lasers from their eyes.

"Now hold on a second," Wonder Woman commanded, separating the two. "You can't fight in your condition. Or have you all forgotten that he just died?!"

Peter's anger cleared as he felt the searing pain of his wounds re-opening.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Spidey whined as blood became visible through the sweatshirt.

"That's it, you're not fighting anyone until you've been completely healed," Diana ordered as she dragged the half limp vigilante to the medical bay.

"As for you," the goddess threw over her shoulder to Batman. "If I find out that you two fought without my permission, then you'll both end up in a body cast! Got it?"

Not wanting to deal with an angered Wonder Woman, Batman nodded. This seemed to satisfy her, so she continued to drag the now unconscious teen to the infirmary.

"Does anyone else find Wonder Woman scary at times?" Green Arrow asked in a nervously. This resulted in nods from the five remaining superheroes.

"Yes, and she also has super hearing," Batman pointed out, causing his teammates to slowly inch away from the super powered goddess's direction. Hopefully, she hadn't picked up on the previous question.

* * *

 **[Wow, that took a lot out of me. I guess it's pretty hard to write a chapter after all]**

 _ **I told you so!**_

 **(SpiderPool! You're back! We thought you ditched us!)**

 _ **Nope, I was just on a taco run, is all.**_

 **(Wait, you ate tacos while we stayed here and slaved over** _ **your**_ **story?!)**

 **[Technically, I did all the work. You just sat there criticizing me]**

 **(It's called inspiration!)**

 **[Insulting isn't inspiration]**

 **(Creative criticism then!)**

 _ **Well, if you're too busy to eat these tacos I brought back then…**_

 **(Gimme!) [Gimme!]**

 _ **Hey White, you did a pretty good job on this chapter.**_

 ***Chewing* [With no help from Yellow]**

 **(Hey! How come he gets tacos and not me?)**

 _ **Well let's see… he didn't sabotage the story, or blow up one of the White House's many bathrooms, or break into the Batcave…**_

 **(Ok, ok, I get it. Bad boys don't get tacos)**

 _ **Bingo.**_

 **(But we're friends right? And friends give each other tacos whether they deserve it or not!)**

 _ **That's not how it works… but ok, you can have mine.**_

 **(Ha! Push over!) *Shoves taco in mouth***

 _ **WHY YOU LITTLE…**_

 **Mwahahahaha! You though I was gonna do a Spider-man vs. Batman didn't ya? Well, PSYCH! Not in this chapter you don't! I was actually smiling the whole time I was writing this one. I figured, why not stress just** _ **how**_ **much different Spidey and Bats are. In reality, they hate each other because they're so much alike, yet so different. At least, that's how I see it. But it's ultimately up to you! So review just how much you LOVE this chapter! It's definitely my favorite! :p**


	9. Spidey vs Bats

**Disclaimer: Own Marvel and DC I do not.**

 **(So… you gonna do Spidey vs. Bats this time?)**

 _ **I don't know, depends on how long it takes to write it.**_

 **[I thought you said you were screwing school… but it just looks like you're doing them at the same time]**

 _ **It's still school, okay! I can't just let it sit there and rot for eternity!**_

 **[Fine, just don't blame me if you suddenly start writing scientific expressions into the story]**

 _ **FYI, I've gotten pretty good at separating work from schoolwork.**_

 **(Yeah, now your school sucks!)**

 _ **I've got an A in almost everything, you grade school dropout!**_

 **(Lier, lier, pants on fire!)**

 **[He did say "almost" everything, so at least he's being honest]**

 **(I bet you're pretty good at English by now, considering all you do is write fanfiction when you're supposed to be doing-)**

 _ **Quiet! Someone might hear you!**_

 **[Well, this is fanfiction… everyone can hear you]**

 **...**

 _ **Crap! The story!**_

 **[You finally caught on]**

 **(And you call me a dropout!)**

 _ **Oh, go lick a fire hydrant!**_

* * *

Chapter 9: Spidey vs. Bats

Wonder Woman acted as warden for the time it took Spider-man's wounds to heal. If she caught him sneaking out of the infirmary to have a fist fight with Batman, he ended up strapped to the bed. This greatly discouraged both of them, until the worst they could do was shoot death glares at each other. The rivals figured that if they teamed up, they might have a chance of taking her out. But that would mean working together.

And believe me, the two hated that idea _way_ more than being on probation.

Since the Justice League found out that Spidey was somewhat hyperactive when bored, they gave him access to outside information to keep him busy. This gave Peter the chance to read up about this new world he found himself in. A week had passed, and Peter had studied all the information the JL had on their superheroes and villains, plus social media.

Also, during this time, Peter had the chance to fix his suit. But since it had been destroyed in the fight with the Avengers, he had to make a new one from scratch. He stuck with the classic design, but changed the blue parts to black. He had gotten many comments on the colors of his suit from the people of New York. Apparently, red and blue don't mix.

The team was surprised to find his injuries to be almost completely healed, on account of Spidey's enhanced healing factor. After pleading with Diana to let him go, he got the okay. You can imagine what he did first.

"Hey, Batman! We can fight now, so let's do this already!" Spider-man announced as he lowered himself upside-down from a strand of webbing.

Batman was currently tapping away at the JL computers, ignoring the web-slinger's obvious challenge to fight.

"I don't have time for you, go bother Green Arrow instead," Batman replied, still not acknowledging Spidey's challenge.

"What?! We've been trying to battle each other the entire time I was injured! Don't tell me you're chickening out?"

Bruce didn't respond to Peter's jabs, attempting to keep his serious face in check. But Spider-man is known to have the special ability to tick off anyone, even Batman.

"Oh, I get it. The only reason you wanted to fight then was because I wasn't at full strength! If you thought you could only take me on in a weaken state, then you're even more batty than I thought!"

And with that last poke, the Dark Knight had enough. He reached up with his gloved hand, grabbed the front of Spidey's suit, and hurled him over the side of the balcony. Peter reacted quickly, he whipped out his right hand and shot a stream of webbing at a support beam above. He swung upward, landing in a crouched position high above Batman's head.

The man in black took his grappling hook from his utility belt, and used it to reel himself up to Spidey's perch. His sixth sense went off as Batman's fist barely missed his head. The arachnid leaned backwards, then used his adhesive powers to walk underneath the beam. He then shot another strand of webbing, this time to the backs of Batman's feet, and yanked hard. Bats lost his balance, causing him to fall backwards off the beam. Peter took this chance to add more webbing to his prior one, resulting in Batman hanging upside-down by his feet.

There was a whoosh of red and yellow as the Flash appeared with a bowl of popcorn in hand. He had heard the commotion, and decided to check out who was winning. Although, it seem pretty obvious to him.

"Hey Bats! Need a little help getting down from there?"

Said person was currently wrapped in a cocoon up to his neck. You can imagine how funny it must have looked from below. Spider-man was taking his time to rub in his victory.

"Oh well, I guess you weren't much of a challenge in the end. And after I waited all this time to go against the Amazing Batman."

To Peter's unease, his victim began to smirk.

"What's so-"

Before he could finish his spider-sense went off, as he picked up a sizzling noise. Then, the familiar gloved fist of Batman shot out of the cocoon, and hit him square in the face. Spider-man flew backwards to the floor below with a loud thud. His assailant continued to follow with a punch that would have connected with his face yet again if Peter hadn't rolled out of the way. His opponent had somehow escaped from his sticky prison while Spidey was gloating.

 _ **Now look where your pride got you! A fist to the face!**_

 _How did he get out of my webbing? It's as strong as titanium steel!_

 _ **Made an upgrade did we?**_

 _Well duh! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!_

 _ **I thought it was "When in Rome, do as the Roman's do and force heroes to fight lions".**_

 _Quiet, I'm trying to avoid becoming bug paste right now!_

 _ **Arachnid paste.**_

 _Whatever._

Bruce noticed that Spider-man was distracted for some unknown reason, so he took the opportunity to send a round-house kick the stomach. Peter went flying to the wall behind him. Batman was surprised how light-weight the vigilante was, considering how powerful the hero's punches were. The Bat continued to attack the Spider with almost every type of fighting style he knew, but his opponent seemed to evade the attacks even before he threw them!

After a few minutes of intense battling, the rest of the Justice League drifted into the main room to watch the show. The two seemed evenly matched; Batman with his skills and training; Spider-man with his agility and spider-sense. The team figured if something didn't happen soon, the rivals would be at it all day!

But in the end, Spidey's speed, spider-sense, and unpredictability won over.

Peter shot webbing into his opponents eyes, then sent a left hook towards Batman's jaw. Although the punch was blocked, Spider-man continued to leap over the blind Bat and swung his foot out and took him off his feet. The wall-crawler then pinned his assailant to the floor with his enhanced strength. Batman had ripped off the webbing in his eyes to find himself pinned down.

 _ **Kill him.**_

Bruce looked up at Spider-man to see that his demeanor had changed. He couldn't see his face, but there was definitely something different about him. Spidey's had left Batman's right wrist, and clutched the man in black's throat. He could feel it now, a dark aura seemed to come off the normally friendly character. It almost felt… evil.

 _ **Kill him now.**_

Batman knew were this situation was going, so he used his free hand and quickly pulled out a batarang and held it against Peter's throat. They both faced each other in silence for a few seconds, knowing that if one moved, the other would die. After a few more moments, Spider-man shook his head in confusion, then quickly jumped off Batman.

After realizing how close he had come to ending the man, Peter apologized while rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "Whoops, sorry about that! I guess I got a little carried away!"

Bruce couldn't believe it! This Spider-man was completely different than the one he was almost killed by merely seconds ago! What was going on?

"Um, are you okay Spidey? You got a little weird there for a sec," Arrow asked, genuinely worried.

"Oh yeah, I'm completely fine! There is absolutely nothing to worry about! I have a moral code and all, so don't be so touchy." Peter assured, waving his hands in front of himself.

But Peter knew better, the fact was, he was going to kill Batman. He didn't know why, but it was like he couldn't control himself. As if some hidden instinct deep down had risen up and taken over. It made him sick to think about it, the feeling of watching through your own eyes as the rest of your body moved without you. In fact, all he wanted to do was curl up and hide in a corner somewhere. But Peter couldn't do that, the Justice League was counting on him to be the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man… so that's what he'll be.

"So this means I won? In your face, Bats!" Peter exclaimed.

"Technically, it was a tie," the Martian stated in Batman's defense.

"WHAT?! Oh come on! I was obviously winning! And I would have too, if he hadn't pulled that trick with the batarang!"

Wonder Woman raised an eyebrow. "You mean the batarang that made you back off?"

Batman had zoned out and was brooding over the earlier events. In that last moment of the battle, Spider-man's fighting style had changed to a more violent one. It was as if a creature was going in for the kill.

 _Although, he does have spider powers. Maybe it's normal for him to fight like that when he's in a tight spot. Of course, I've never seen how he fights normally, so I'll have to keep an eye on him for now._

* * *

 **(You suck at fight scenes! It was so short!)**

 **[I agree with Yellow]**

 _ **I have a time limit you know! It's not like I can work on a stupid chapter all day!**_

 **[Why not? You don't have anything better to do!]**

 **(And don't say school, that doesn't count!)**

 _ **Hey! I have a life you know!**_

 **(You do?) [You do?]**

 _ **What is that supposed to mean? Of course I do!**_

 **[Sure, if it helps you sleep at night]**

 **(Eat. Sleep. And write fanfics. That's pretty much it)**

 _ **No… I read comics too!**_

 **[Nerd!]**

 **(I almost feel sorry for you… almost)**

 _ **Just you wait! Someday I'll be a famous comic book writer, and then you'll be sorry!**_

 **(In your dreams)**

 **[Cause all you do is sleep-]**

 _ **I get it already! You don't need to rub it in!**_

 **I sincerely apologize for the short fight scene. It's the best I can do. Anyways, what do you think about that little mishap with Other? Stay tuned, and don't forget to review!**


	10. Spidey vs Bats Round 2

**Disclaimer: I, UltimateSpiderPool, do not own Marvel or DC comics… so read at your own risk.**

 **(You're re-doing Spidey vs Bats?!)**

 _ **No! How many times do I have to explain it? That was my test run!**_

 **[I get it, you didn't want to screw up the real thing. I was wondering why the last one was so short]**

 **(So… you were just messing with us before?)**

 _ **You don't need to make it sound so sneaky!**_

 **[Your name should be UltimateWeaselPool]**

 _ **You guys should be happy I'm making a round two, not complaining about it!**_

 **[I guess so] (Whatever)**

...

 **(So, you gonna start now?)**

 _ **Oh… right.**_

* * *

Chapter 10: Spidey vs. Bats Round 2

Peter sat crouched on a stool in the tech lab. He was busy analyzing the webbing that had been destroyed by Batman during their fight earlier. It had been broken down by some sort of acid, Spidey decided to ask Batman about it next time he saw him. That happened sooner than he thought, as said person approached Peter at his station.

"What's up Bats? I was just checking out my webbing. What kind of acid did you use to break it down? I mean, it had to be some pretty strong stuff to get through my webs that easily."

"I've dealt with villains that have almost impenetrable armor, so this fluid I created can break down the chemical structure of almost any kind of metal. Which includes your webbing," Bruce explained. "Although, it wasn't easy to reach my utility belt when wrapped up in whatever that substance is."

Batman looked down at the table to see the devices that Spider-man wore on his wrists.

"Did you make these?" Batman asked, picking up one of them.

"Yup, I call them Web-Shooters. I can't make organic webbing, and you can't be a Spider-man without webs," Peter pointed out.

"How do they work?"

"Well, they're made of an nylon compound consisting of-"

Batman stopped Peter before he went all science-nerdy. "Just the basics."

The vigilante sighed and muttered, "Fine, I won't bore you with all the fun stuff. In short, it's an artificial webbing that reacts when exposed to air."

He held up a small square cylinder and continued, "The web fluid is stored in one of these carriages, which you put into the shooter."

Peter placed the cartridge as instructed, then strapped it to his wrist.

"Also, there is a lever in the palm of my hand that controls the release of webbing. But it requires a specific amount of pressure to activate. This allows me to make fists without setting it off."

The young genius raised his wrist, then pressed two middle fingers to the palm of his hand. Batman watched as the webbing was released and shot to the ceiling. Peter went a step further, and twisted himself upside-down into his signature spider pose.

"Tada! Instant rope swing! Pretty cool right?"

It was indeed cool, but Batman would never admit that to Spidey or anyone else for that matter. Besides, Batman's toys were way cooler, even if none of them could shoot webs.

"That's not why I'm here actually. I want to reassess your skills, or to put it in terms you'll understand, a rematch."

"A rematch, huh? I thought you gave up after that tail-kicking last time," Peter teased.

The man in black simply sighed. "Last time was me taking my frustration out on you. I wasn't actually taking it seriously. Think of it as a preliminary round."

"Call it what you want, I still beat you."

Although, Peter knew that wasn't true. In their previous fight, both of them were just messing around. Only at that last moment, when that killer instinct took over, did they get serious.

"I was holding back because it wasn't exactly the best area to fight. If anything there had been damaged, then we would find ourselves floating a few thousand miles above Earth," the Dark Knight explained.

 _Oh yeah, I almost forgot that we're in outer space!_

Peter waited for a snappy response from his roommate, but to his disappointment, none came.

Batman continued to speak. "So this time, I want a real fight to see what you're made of. Not just a petty argument between rivals."

Spider-man thought the proposal over. Although he did want another crack at Bats, he was also afraid of that _thing_ taking over again. Peter hadn't heard from Other ever since the battle, but he couldn't tell if that voice before was in fact Other, or something completely different. The hero also didn't want to look like a wimp in front of Batman, so there was no other choice.

"You're on! Do you have a rec room or something we can fight in without blowing up the place?"

Batman smirked at Spidey's question and answered, "Or something."

A few moments later…

Spidey's jaw dropped as they entered a room the size of the football field.

"How the heck did you fit this thing in the Watchtower? It's huge!" Peter exclaimed in awe at the sheer size of the place.

"You can't judge how big the Watchtower is just by looking at blueprints of it," Batman said as he walked over to a keypad in the wall.

"Obviously!" Peter jogged over to the nearest wall, and continued the walk until he reached the ceiling.

This time, the rest of the Justice League showed up before the fight began. Martian Man-Hunter had relayed the message to everyone's minds about the second round. Flash once again ran in first, this time with a bag of nachos.

"Do you ever stop eating?"

The speedster swiveled his head around in search of the voice, then looked up to find Spider-man casually standing on the ceiling.

"You're one to talk, Mister Bottomless Pit! While you were "recuperating", you ate all of my snacks!" Flash complained, shoving more nachos in his mouth.

"Don't look at me! Blame my high metabolism!" Peter called down from his view of the room.

During their conversation, the rest of the team had arrived.

"Are you two going to chat all day, or can the show start already?" Asked the impatient archer.

"This isn't for entertainment," Batman informed from his post at the keyboard. "It is solely to test and analyze Spider-man's abilities."

The wall-crawler flipped gracefully from the ceiling, and landed in a crouch in front of the assembly.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's trying to show off or anything, right Bats?" Peter grinned, casually throwing his arm over his rival's shoulder like they were buddies.

"Right…" Batman replied sarcastically, slowly pushing the annoying arachnid boy away.

"Are you done with your comedy routine yet?" Superman asked in amusement.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Bruce pushed a button on the keypad, causing the sound of movement in the walls. Peter look around in surprise as platforms, cylinder beams, and other structures stared popping up.

"Since both of us function better with objects around us, I thought it best to change the terrain a little," the detective explained.

"I know what I want for Christmas!" Peter said as he took in his surroundings, "Although, I'd have to ask Ant-man to be able to fit it in a box."

"Who is Ant-man?" Questioned the green telepath, having never heard of the hero before.

 _Get it together, Spidey! Of course no one knows who Ant-man is! You're in another dimension! Maybe I should leave insulting myself to Other… if he ever comes back that is._

"Never mind, forget I said anything," Peter sighed.

"Let's begin," The bat-themed super announced, heading to the center of the room.

"Finally!"

The two opponents faced each other, ready to start at any moment.

"Let's make this a fair fight, so no holding back," Batman ordered.

"If that's how you want to do this, then okay-"

Immediately after the words left Spider-man's mouth, his spider-sense blared. Batman's fists flew towards him at alarming speeds, Spidey barely had time to dodge them, let alone counter attack. It was just as Batman suspected, Spider-man could somehow sense his movements, but this ability was useless unless he could evade them in time.

An idea began forming in Batman's head. He pulled back from his forward attacks, while throwing a small object from his utility belt. Spidey successfully dodged the projectile, but as it hit the floor, smoke exploded and enveloped the vigilante. Spider-man focused on his other senses, unable to rely on his eyes. After a few seconds of silence, his early warning system kicked in, but it sensed objects coming from every direction. Reacting quickly, Spidey leaped up out of the blind zone to avoid the batarangs… that was his mistake. Just as he cleared the smoke screen, Batman brought his boot down onto the back of Spider-man's head. The stunned hero plummeted strait down, and crashed into the floor below.

Groaning from the impact, Peter rolled to the left to avoid another kick to the head. His spider-sense plus the headache didn't help the situation. Peter realized by now that he had grossly underestimated his opponent. Taking the fight more seriously, Spider-man dodged another attack, but shot webs into Batman's eyes as he went along. Taking advantage of his bought time, Peter began attaching separate web lines to the structures above them. When Batman was finally free of the blindfold, Spider-man was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm up here, Sherlock."

Bruce head snapped in the direction of the voice, to find Spidey suspended upside-down in the center of a giant spider web.

"Now it's my turn."

Batman tensed as Spider-man used the web to launch himself in his direction. The wall-crawler's attacks became faster and faster, until all Bruce could catch was a red and black blur. The punches started getting harder to block as Spidey began using the web to his advantage. Every time Batman went on the offensive, Spider-man would retreat to it and attack from a different angle.

 _I've never seen this fighting style before. It's completely random. Almost as if he's relying on his instincts to defend, while his mind works on how to take me down. Unusual, yet surprisingly effective._

This cycle continued for a while, but they both knew they couldn't keep it up forever.

 _I need to take out his web if I am to have any chance of ending this._

With that in mind, Batman took a step back and hurled an exploding batarang at the web above. Spider-man instinctively jumped in the projectile's way, and spin-kicked it into the adjacent wall. The explosion ruptured the integrity of a nearby structure, causing it to collapse.

The Flash whistled from the observation deck, "They're really going at it aren't they?"

Wonder Woman nodded, "What would you expect? It is Batman after all; always taking things seriously."

Green Arrow looked down at the timer.

"It's already been over an hour, I thought Bruce would have wrapped this up by now."

"Do not underestimate the kid, he is a lot stronger than he looks. Trust me," Superman replied, remembering from experience.

The intense battle raged on below, as both heroes began to reach their limit. Although both had fought evenly matched, that didn't excuse the fact that they had sustained a considerable amount of damage from each other. Spider-man had a cracked lens plus multiple cuts caused by batarangs and all the other playthings Bats had. Batman's armor was broken in several places, and believe it or not, was beginning to run out of things to throw at Spidey.

 _If I remember correctly, I should have two ice capsules left. It might just be enough to work, here goes nothing!_

Batman used the same method as earlier, aiming his remaining batarangs to come at Spider-man from all sides.

"Again? Are you running out of tricks already?" Spidey panted as he jump up out of the way.

But what he hadn't seen was the two ice capsules fly past him. So Peter was caught completely off guard when he attempted to cling to his web… and found it frozen over! Spider-man's hands and feet slipped from the cold surface, and the vigilante fell. While still in midair, Spidey failed to stop Batman's fist from hitting his face. With that final blow, Spider-man was sent skidding across the hard floor.

 _It's finally over._

Batman turned away from Spidey to check out the damage to the room. That's when he let his guard down, if only for a split second… but that was all it took.

"Boo."

Realizing his mistake, Batman twisted around to find a webbed fist meet his face.

Just seconds earlier…

"Aww… the show's over!" Barry sighed as he watch Bats punch Spidey across the floor.

He was kind of disappointed, Flash was starting to like this Parker kid. So seeing him get whooped so badly was saddening. The speedster was about to toss his empty nacho bag, but a red and black bur caught his eye.

"Wait… is that Spidey?"

He looked from the teen's earlier position on the floor, to behind Batman.

 _Wow, he's fast!_

The Flash's jaw dropped even lower as he watched the following events in slow-motion. Both heroes had simultaneously hit each other square in the face! Flash leaned so close to the protective glass till he could see his breath. He then pumped his fist into the air as a sign of victory while shouting,

"Booyah! In your face Robin Hood! You owe me twenty bucks!"

Although his celebration was short lived, as he looked back to see both Spider-man and Batman unconscious! The Justice League looked at each other in horror, and then hurried down to the training room to assist their fallen teammates.

* * *

 **[Ha Ha! Told you he'd make it a tie!]**

 **(What?! How did you know?!)**

 **[Cause I know SpiderPool better than you do. Deal with it!]**

 _ **It's also another cliffhanger.**_

 **(Whatever. Your fight scenes still suck!)**

 _ **They do not!**_

 **[Alright, we're** _ **so**_ **not doing this again]**

 _ **I told you this was the real fight. The other one was me being a bias Spider-man fan.**_

 **[So this one was you being logical?]**

 _ **Exactly! Of course, there will always be those who say "so-and-so" should have won… but who really cares?**_

 **(It still sucked lemons.)**

 _ ***Sticks out tongue***_

 **[Are you going to bring Other back?]**

 _ **Of course! What kind of question is that?**_

 **[The logical kind]**

 **(Now here's the non-logical question: If your stories are horse phooey, then are you horse phooey?)**

 _ **I think you're confusing it with "You are what you eat".**_

 **(Oh… that explains a lot)**

 _ **I don't like what you are implying.**_

 **(I don't like your face… does that count?)**

 **[NO!]** _ **NO!**_

 **(Dang it)**

 **I once again have caused myself to pass out. But this chapter was definitely worth it! So again… PSYCH! This was the REAL Spidey vs Bats! The tie should satisfy both Batman** _ **and**_ **Spider-man fans! You know, unless you've gotta be that difficult person who can't let it go. Love comics and don't forget to review!**


	11. The Other Side

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC Comics**

 **[UltimateSpiderPool, I hereby give you permission to skip our meaningless comedy routine and get strait to the story]**

 _ **What! Why?**_

 **(That's what I was thinking! Why skip our few moments of airtime?)**

 _ **Well, he called me by my full name… so it's gotta be important.**_

 **[You forgot to write a chapter again!]**

… _**Whoops**_

 **(Wait… how long has it been again?)**

 **[Never mind that! Just write the story now before you get writer's block again!]**

 _ **But I didn't get writer's block… I just didn't feel like writing anything.**_

 **(Talk about zero responsibility)**

 _ **Hey! I can do chapters when I feel like it, so don't give me that whole "Great power, great responsibility" shtick.**_

 **(And you call yourself a Spider-man fan) *sigh**

 _ **Oh go suck a lemon!**_

 **[Write. Story. Now.]**

 **(Uh oh, he's pissed)**

 _ **Aye sir! I'll get right on it!**_

* * *

Chapter 11: The Other Side

It was dark again. Why was it always so dark? Peter looked around in the empty space that he had first visited on the brink of death. Although, this time he seemed to be standing on a solid surface, but he couldn't see any floor. Another difference, was that he wasn't being choked to death and suffocated either, which was a relief.

" **Hey Pete, what's up?"**

Peter spun around at the voice, and found himself standing face to face with… Spider-man? No, they weren't exactly the same, this one was wearing his old, red and blue suit.

" **And don't say "the sky", cause I don't think this place has one,"** the Spidey-clone continued, referring to the black abyss around them.

"Um… do I know you?" Peter asked, thoroughly confused.

" **Seriously? Me: your sarcastic yet awesome roommate? Ring any bells?"**

It took the vigilantly a moment, but he eventually caught on.

"Wait… so you're Other?"

Other slumped over and lowered his head like someone kicked his dog, then complained, **"You really didn't recognize me? And after all we've been through together. I am wounded."**

Peter sighed at his over exaggerative accomplice and replied, "Well, you had me at sarcastic. Don't be such a wuss."

The web-slinger motioned to his surroundings and asked, "Where are we anyways?"

Other instantly perked up and replied in an overly cheery tone, **"Oh, you're unconscious!"**

Peter repeated it as if to make sure he heard right, "I'm… unconscious? But that must mean…" He paused for a moment to let it sink in, "Dammit! That means my sneak attack on Batman didn't work!"

Other watched as his twin paced in front of him; he said casually, **"Yeah, apparently Bats isn't as dumb as he looks. You probably should have thought that strategy through more."**

Spidey 1 stopped pacing and faced Spidey 2, "You're one to talk! Where were you when I was risking my life?!"

Other cocked his head sideways and answered bluntly, **"One, your life was no way in danger; two, you actually** _ **have**_ **a sense that warns you of danger; three, I'm not a crutch… so stop depending on me when you can already walk fine."**

Other had a point, he _had_ been relying on his subconscious partner a little. But Peter decided to change the subject.

"I know I'm unconscious and all, but why is it so dark? I mean, there has to be _something_ around here."

To prove his point, the spandex-clad hero began walking in a random direction.

 **"I wouldn't go that way if I were you,"** Other cautioned as Spidey wandered about.

"Why? It's not like there's anything-"

Peter's sentence was cut short as his foot found itself in midair. Caught off-guard by the sudden lack of flooring, Spidey lost his balance and almost fell into whatever invisible obstacle was in front of him. Thankfully, Other grabbed the back of Peter's suit, and yanked him onto solid ground. He then dropped the disoriented hero unceremoniously at his side.

Peter grunted from the rough landing, then scowled up at his roomy, "What was that all about?"

Other muttered something under his breath, then pointed to the area Spidey had occupied just moments before. Peter squinted to see what he had almost fallen into, it was a pit. He hadn't seen it because everything around there looked the same, but when he took a closer look, the pit was in fact darker than the surrounding black. Compared to this whole in the floor, everything else seemed light and cheery. It was huge too, like scary huge.

"When Flash called me a bottomless pit, I didn't think he meant literally!" Peter chuckled nervously.

Other crossed his arms in annoyance and grumbled, **"I believe the correct words you're searching for are: Thank you Other for saving me from falling to my death in a freaking abyss!"**

Peter just rolled his eyes and leaned over the edge on his hands and knees.

"What is this thing doing here anyways? We're in my head right? So… is this the part of my brain I don't use?"

Peter's double shook his head and responded, **"Stop thinking about it so scientifically. This isn't your brain, we're in your mind. The mind has an entirely different set up than the brain. This place's complexity is based off of your mental and psychological abilities."**

Peter simply looked up at Other with a blank expression. The guy obviously had no idea what he was talking about.

" **Okay, let me put it this way. You know telepaths can read your mind, and in order for them to do that, they need to break down your mental barriers,"** Other turned and pointed to something behind them, **"That back there is your mental barrier."**

The wall-crawler turned in the direction his roommate pointed to. Just as explained, there was a high brick wall in the far distance, stretching from one end of nothingness to the other.

"Hey, when did that get here? And… why is it made out of bricks?" Spidey asked the last question with disapproval in his voice.

" **It was the best I could do on short notice, so don't complain about it. Considering your mental abilities suck, at least now telepaths can't read you like a book just by walking past you!"**

Peter stood to his feet and asked, "So what's behind that wall anyways?"

Other stared at the solo superhero like he'd grown another head, **"Please tell me you're joking? Because I'll die right here if you're not."**

Spider-man raised his hands in defense, "Jeez, don't get so worked up! I'm not stupid; my memories and all the important stuff are back there right?"

Other turned his head towards the brick wall and added, **"Well… that, and your new superpower."**

 _Oh yeah, that power is kind of mentally-related right? Although, if all the good stuff is over there… then what is this place? Now that I think about it, what is this double of me doing over here anyways?_

Peter glanced at Other, who was still staring intently at the pitiful barrier.

"Hey classic-me, since when did you get here exactly?"

" **Can you be more specific?"**

"Well, I've only ever known of your existence until a little while ago. I mean, you've had to have shown up at some point right? Was it when I got my spider powers or…"

" **It was when you died,"** Other interrupted, continuing to avoid eye contact.

"But how? You're not giving me much to go on here!" Peter prodded for answers.

" **I simply answered your first question of** _ **when**_ **I showed up. But if you want to know the shorter and less complicated version…"**

Other was obviously stalling.

"Fine I'll take it, just tell me already!" Peter growled, getting very impatient.

" **Okay, long story short, when you almost died, you fell down there,"** Other began while pointing to the bottomless pit, **"And when you get sucked down there, it's almost impossible to get back up because of all that black stuff pulling you down."**

 _Well that would explain the strangled feeling._

" **So when you got pulled out of there when your heart started working again, some of your consciousness got left behind; aka yours truly."**

Peter scowled at Other and muttered, "That sounded like a crappy explanation meant for two-year-olds."

" **Hey, at least you understood it right? Do you really want me to go into the details of my coming into being? That would be boring,"** The red and blue doppelganger assured.

Spider-man thought over Other's poorly put yet interesting explanation. Then something important that he had overlooked came to mind.

"Um, Other? Exactly what part of me got left behind when I died?"

His question was met with silence. And after a few more moments of it, Peter stole another glance at Other. His face showed no emotion on account of the matching spider-like mask. If only he hadn't built it to conceal facial features so well! Spider-man looked to his surroundings, to find the place had reverted back to when he had originally come there. There was neither the brick wall, nor the bottomless pit. Just darkness.

He was beginning to get annoyed at Other for ignoring his question.

"Hey! Did you hear me or what?" Peter said while waving his hand in the other's face.

This seemed to snap him out of his trance, as Other turned his head to look at Spidey.

"What's up? Cat got your tongue?"

 _This whole "pretending like you don't exist" act is starting to get creepy._

Other suddenly held up his wrist and looked at his non-existent watch while exclaiming, **"Wow, look at the time! You should be waking up right about now!"**

 _He's using that overly cheery voice again._

"What are you talking about? You still didn't answer my question!"

Other just ignored Peter, and began walking away while whistling the Spider-man theme-song.

 _This must be what Batman feels like when he deals with me. Damn, I am so annoying!_

"Hey! Where are you going?" The vigilante called as he ran after his clone.

Other stopped mid-whistle as Spider-man ran up behind him.

" **You're still here? Oh well, guess I'm gonna have to do this the hard way. Hold still, this only hurt for a sec," He assured as he cracked his knuckles.**

"Wait, what are you-"

Before Peter could finish, Other's fist had connected with his face, then came the familiar blinding light.

* * *

 **(That was it?)**

 **[Disappointing]**

 _ **Well there goes my moral support.**_

 **(We've never** _ **been**_ **moral support)**

 _ **I love summer, okay? I've just had better things to do than sit at a computer writing fanfictions.**_

 **[You don't need to put "okay" at the end of each sentence. You don't need our approval to love summer]**

 **(Speak for yourself! I think the only highlight of this chapter is the part that I'm in it!)**

 _ **Well what DO you want in the story?**_

 **(DEADPOOL!) [DEADPOOL!]**

 _ **No.**_

 **(Why not? Deadpool makes everything better!)**

 **[Even crappy stories like yours]**

 _ **Now hold on a sec! I don't even need to have you guys in the script at all!**_

 **(Then explain why we're still here!)**

 _ **Two words: comic relief**_

 **(NO WAY!)**

 **[Is this what we've been reduced to?]**

 _ **I don't think you can get any lower.**_

 **(I'm going on strike! White, you with me?)**

 **[Oh yeah, let's see how well SpiderPool's story does without us!]**

 ***Screeching tires**

 _ **They'll be back come next Taco Tuesday. Until then… MARVEL MOVIE MARATHON!**_

 **I sincerely apologize for not writing… again. I really need to get my priorities straight. I hope this chapter didn't suck, cause I'm thinking it did. But that's really up to you guys and girls to decide. Did you like this whole thing with Other? Do you think he's good or bad? Also… no, this is not Venom related. PLEASE review your thoughts, otherwise I'll keep righting crappy chapters.**

 **Authors Note:** Thanks to all youreaders who reviewed and encouraged me to keep writing!

 **BatgirlBeyond:** Your review helped with the Bats vs. Spidey! Just thought you should know, so thanks!


	12. Leaving the Nest

**Disclaimer: I** **do not Marvel or DC Comics… like, at all**

 _ **Okay! Time to start chapter 12!**_

 ***Grumbling in the background**

 _ **Oh, hey guys! You're back already?**_

 **[Yup] (I guess)**

 _ **Wait… why do you sound like you've been hit by a car?**_

 **(Um….)**

 **[I didn't think he'd find out so quickly!] *whisper**

 _ **So you WERE hit?! How? Why?**_

 **[Relax! It's nothing major!]**

 **(** **Just don't watch the news anytime soon…** **) *mumble**

 _ **What was that?**_

 **(Nothing!) [Nothing!]**

 _ **I'm just going to assume that whatever you two gone done was bad enough to get all of us deported. But did you at least make sure your chaos didn't lead back to here?**_

 **(Of I course, we wouldn't** _ **dream**_ **of causing a mess then blaming it on you!)**

 _ **I don't like what you're implying…**_

 **(Come on! We're buddies, right? And buddies take the blame for their pals all the time!)**

 _ **YEAH, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL FOR YOU IDIOTS!**_

* * *

Chapter 12: Leaving the Nest

Peter's eyes shot open as the world within his mind faded away. He was in the medical bay… again, and his face felt like someone used it as a battering ram.

 _Why does my face hurt? Other only punched me in my mind. So why…_

The memories of his demise at the hands of Batman flooded back to him.

"Aww man! I got beat again!" The arachnid boy exclaimed as he brought his hands to his face.

"Well, look who finally woke up!"

Peter craned his head to see the Flash, leaning against the far wall. He appeared to be the only one in the area, besides Spider-man of course.

"Oh, hey Flash," Peter greeted nonchalantly.

"It was a tie by the way. You know, the fight? Although, I was kinda hoping to see you kick Batman's butt. He beat me when I first went up against him, that guy is scary."

Peter brought himself into an upright position. Surprisingly, he couldn't feel any pain from his injuries. The speedster confirmed Spidey's suspicions.

"Yeah, your injuries healed pretty quickly while you were unconscious. Apparently, your healing factor is way faster than we first thought. It might even be as fast as mine! (NOT) But that's just my opinion," Flash told his new companion.

Spider-man searched the familiar area for signs of the Justice League.

"Where is everyone? How long have I been unconscious anyways?"

Barry thought for a moment, then answered, "Well, I think some of them decided to go clean up the training room, and Green Arrow took off for Starling City not too long ago. You've been out since last afternoon, Batman woke up _way_ before you did. Which was stupid considering the beating he took."

"I've been out that long? It shouldn't have taken me this long to wake up from a single punch!" Spidey exclaimed, pretending to ignore Flash's comment of Batman being worn out.

His mind wandering back to his previous conversation.

 _Did I over sleep because of Other?_

"I think it has something to do with the rate your body heals. Maybe while you're self-regenerating….alot, you go into a hibernating state. But you should know that already, this has probably happened to you before."

The Flash was correct on that assumption. If Spidey had a penny for every time he passed out after a fight…well… he wouldn't be swinging around NYC in nothing but spandex.

Hopping off the medical bed, Spider-man headed in the direction of the main room.

"Where are you going?" the Flash threw after the quickly exiting Peter Parker, who answered with a visible grin,

"Where else? To rub my partial victory in the Bat's face!"

Barry simply rolled his eyes and chuckled at the kid's unprovoked enthusiasm.

 _That kid is something else._

* * *

 **Justice League Watchtower: Surveillance Platform**

Bruce focused intently on the battle recording before him, writing down important bits of information as he went along.

 _Genius level_ _intelligence_ , _incredible agility, increased strength, extreme flexibility, a unique fighting style, adhesive abilities, enhanced senses, not to mention an early warning system. Is there anything this kid_ doesn't _have?_ As Batman brooded over the impressive list of both superhuman and natural abilities he had gathered from his observation, his rival approached via ceiling.

"Greetings detective! I know that you're probably wishing for my awesome powers right about now, but I'm pretty sure they're all out of radioactive bats in that department."

Batman took back his earlier thought; Spider-man lacked self-control…. his mouth in particular.

"Why don't you go annoy Superman? That seems to be all you're good for anyways," Gotham vigilante retorted.

"Hey!" Spidey complained, flipping onto the floor beside Batman, "That was a misunderstanding! We're both cool now, unlike _somebody_ who enjoys bringing up their college's mistakes just to make themselves feel better!"

 _ **Oh snap!**_

 _Go away, Other. I'm still mad at you for punching me in the face._

 _ **Aww, don't be hate'n bro!**_

Batman scowled and answered the wall-crawler in a demeaning tone, "You are in no way my college; just an inconvenient bother that was dropped on our doorstep."

Peter crossed his arms defiantly and replied in self-defense, "Well, if I'm suck a pain in your high-and-mighty butts, then why don't you unleash the amazingness that is Spider-man onto the world?"

Bruce made a point to visibly make his features more frowny-faced (Well… even more than usual that is). Apparently the thought of letting the "public menace" roam free was less appealing than having to deal with him cooped up in the Tower having belly-buster competitions with the Flash.

"Let me make this clear: I do not trust you enough to let you go swinging around the planet spouting lame puns, let alone step foot on it."

"Well, that goes without saying," Spider-man mumbled rebelliously.

You would have probably had to listen to this conversation lead up to the "great power, great responsibility" routine, but thankfully, Superman showed up to vouch for our favorite web-slinger.

"Come on Bruce, the kid's been stuck up here for weeks," Supey pointed out to the ever-stubborn Bat, "Why don't you give him a chance?"

After a seemingly endless argument over the pros and cons of letting an unpredictable teenager with super-powers from another dimension who knows their secret identities (and so on) roam free, the highlights eventually won over. Although he had only been there a couple weeks, to the hyperactive Spider-man, it felt like months. Members of the Justice League came and went as they pleased, although it was usually only two to three at a time, and not once had he seen them all leave together. Peter had begun to feel somewhat responsible for this.

 _The only reason at least two of them stay up here at all times is because they don't want me to feel left out. Well, other than Batman that is. He flat out doesn't trust me._

"Fine, have it your way," barked the bat-themed vigilantly, "Spider-man will accompany the next distress call that comes through."

Spidey was stopped halfway into his victory dance (or whatever it is that he did) by Batman's piercing glare.

"But mark my words: I'll cosplay as Wonder Woman before I let you into my city."

"Consider them marked," Spidey mock saluted, "With tons of stars and smiley faces!"

Superman chuckled, while Batman gave up on trying to intimidate the oblivious arachnid into silence with a sigh.

* * *

A few minutes later…

- **Alert** -

- **Incoming distress call for Batman** -

- **Downtown Gotham** -

Those were the words Bruce Wayne dreaded at that very moment. Along with the moment after, when Spider-man sprinted over with a devilish grin on his face.

"Better hope they got XXL at the costume store Batsy! Cause Gotham here I come!"

* * *

 **[This concludes the summer-long wait for an update]**

 **(WHY SPIDER-POOL? WHY?)**

 _ **Sorry! There is literally nothing I can say to make up for this felony!**_

 **(YA GOT THAT RIGHT! BUT MAN! IT DOES FEEL GOOD TO FINALLY USE CAPS AGAIN!)**

[Yes. We're positively thrilled at your freedom of speech.]

 _Anyways…. I know this was shorter than my usual chapters, but it's basically my warm up to get a running start on the rest of the story._

 ***Snorts (Like you REALLY plan on finishing the story? Or exercise for that matter!)**

 **[No offense, but we all know how focused you can get. And by focused, I mean not at all.]**

 _ **Summer is my me time! I don't a ME in FANFICTION now do ya?**_

 **[No. But that FAN part implies that you DON'T LET THEM DOWN!]**

 **(See! Now you see the privileges of using your outside voice!)**

 _ **Wait, there are more versions of you guys? Well I'm screwed.**_

 **(Hardy har har. If you can't take more than two annoying voices in your head-)**

 **[At all times-]**

 **(Dissing your work-)**

 **[Not to mention your life style-]**

 _ **Alright! I get it! I should have never implemented you two in the beginning and end credits!**_

 **[He SO does not get what we're saying]**

 **(What does "implemented" mean?)**

 **I'm wincing at how long it's been since my last update. I am truly saddened by the reality that is delayed updates. I used to get so frustrated when fan-fic writers got a running start at first, but passed out just as the story was getting good. I guess I am among one of those frustrating people now *Whimper. But good news is, I didn't spend all summer twiddling my thumbs. I filled up my think tank over the past few months, so now I'm ready to go! I seriously started writing the first half of this chapter at the beginning of summer, and the last half once school started. So sorry if the chapter seemed a little short or disconnected to you. (I am literally writing this at 11:10 at night, kudos to caffeine!) Please tell me if this chapter was ok! And if it sucked…. well…. my dreams as an aspiring comic book artist will be smashed into a million little pieces (Not really, just and illustration of what happens when you harp on fan-fics for the lols) So REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	13. A Dark Knight in Gotham

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC… but I know what I want for Christmas!**

 _ **My brain is blank! I don't know what to write for the Deadpool voices intro!**_

 **[That's probably because you just woke up]**

 **(At 11:00am by the way)**

 _ **Saturday is when I catch up on all my lost sleep. Of course I slept in!**_

 **[You're forgetting the fact that you were writing fanfiction all night]**

 **(Poorly I might add)**

 _ **You seem to be "adding" a lot this morning. Got no original thoughts in that empty head of yours?**_

 **(Just keep insulting yourself bro. See how good it does you)**

 **[Is it just me, or did it just drop 30 degrees in here?]**

 _ **Celsius?**_

 **(No you idiot, he meant that we're acting cold to each other…. since when do I have the answers to the stupid questions?)**

 **[Forget that! Since when does Spider-pool ask stupid questions anyways?]**

… **.**

 _ **This is getting awkward.**_

 **[I think you screwed up our personalities!]**

 **(I'm scarred for life)**

 _ **Now would be a good time to start writing this chapter…**_

* * *

Chapter 13: A Dark Knight in Gotham

Spider-man rocked on the heels of his feet in anticipation. Martian Man-Hunter was currently adding his DNA signature into the zeta tube, or whatever they called it. Batman was impatiently urging J'aun to hurry, muttering something about lives being at risk.

 _If he's in so anxious to scare the crap out of bad guys, then he should just go on ahead without me!_

 _ **Except for the teeny little fact that HE DOESN'T TRUST YOU!**_

 _I don't think he trusts anyone. That's pretty sad when you think about it._

 _ **Don't tell me you feel sorry for this guy! He punched you in the face remember?**_

 _Technically, so did you… and, well, me. But seriously, it's pretty lonely when you don't have anyone you can rely on. I should know._

 _ **But you've got me!**_

 _Who said I trusted you?_

During Peter's conversation with Other, J'aun had picked up on the strange activity going on in his mind. Normally, the Martian wouldn't have accidentally overheard Spidey's thoughts, but at this close of range, I was kind of hard not to.

"I have completed uploading your signature," Man-Hunter notified the two, "It should now recognize Spider-man and beam him to any location on the planet."

Peter excitedly approached the large teleportation hole in the wall. But before he could jump through it like the reckless dimension-hopping hero he is, the telepath grabbed his attention.

"I know this call is urgent, but before you leave, I would like to ask Spider-man a question."

The web-slinger whirled back to face the green Professor-X and replied, "Shoot! I'm all ears!"

Batman neglected to leave, because to him, there is no such thing as a "private" conversation.

Martian Man-Hunter slowly continue, "I would like to assure you that I in no way purposefully intended to read your mind. Although recently, I have sensed your thoughts to be somewhat… divided."

Peter's once happy demeanor froze. J'uan immediately felt Spider-man's change in attitude, as did Batman obviously, which encouraged him to quicken the conversation.

"Is there something on your mind that you wish to tell us about?"

The wall-crawler tensed, taking a step towards the zeta tube.

 _I'm screwed! I'm screwed! I'm screwed!_

 _ **What do ya mean YOU? It's ME that they'll get rid of!**_

 _I thought you said that barrier could keep a telepath from "accidentally" overhearing my thoughts?_

 _ **Well…**_

 _Other!_

 _ **Hey! It's called**_ **lying** _ **: Something all adults, and occasionally amigos, do!**_

This time it was Peter who looked at his non-existent watch.

"Wow! Look at the time! I'll go on ahead to the crime scene, and you can catch up with me later Bats!"

Without waiting for a reply, Spidey bolted towards the teleportation device.

"Wait!" Batman called after the suspicious arachnid, "The zeta tube hasn't finished calculating the-"

But the caped-crusader's words were met with air as Spider-man disappeared off to who knows where.

* * *

Gotham City - Location: Unknown

As Spider-man expected, his molecules disassembled and reassembled in an instant. What he hadn't expected was the sensation of falling from a mile up! Hence, the yelp that left his mouth when he noticed the rapidly approaching sidewalk. Without only seconds between himself and the ground, Peter instinctively shot a web-line onto the nearest gargoyle. Although it stop him from becoming bug paste (I mean arachnid paste), the intense strain on Spider-man's arms caused him to let go, propelling him like a cannonball into the trash-littered alleyway. The human spider decided not to move for another three minutes, until he finally forced himself to rise from his resting place amidst the garbage.

Peter groaned both inwardly and outwardly; first, because of the pain in his stupidity of not waiting for the zeta tube to stabilize; second, because of letting himself get caught having a conversation with his roommate.

 _ **Phew! That was a close one!**_

"What? Me almost falling to my death? Or you almost getting wiped from existence? Cause it's kind of hard to tell who you're really worried about right now!"

 _ **Woah, settle down there me! Think happy thoughts!**_

Peter took Other's advice and inhaled deeply, though instantly regretted it as the stench of sewer water and trash filled his nose, along with the overwhelming buzz of his spider-sense.

"Ack! Where the heck am I?"

Pushing Other's list of possible locations (including Disney World) to the back of his mind, Spider-man climbed up the alley wall to answer the question himself. Feeling a lot better since his fall, the vigilante flipped himself up on top of the building to get a better view. What he saw reminded him of Hell's Kitchen back in his dimension. Pollution filled both the air and the streets; he could hear the sound of police sirens in distance, along with the accompanying shouts of those being pursued. Guns fired in more places than one, and whoever (or whatever) was on the receiving end of those bullets didn't sound very happy.

"So this is- I think- it's really- how can I- uh…" Peter bonked his fist against his forehead, trying to think of a good description.

 _ **Gotham?**_

"Gotham."

* * *

A few minutes earlier…

Leaping across rooftops with ease, Catwoman made her escape from the cop cars that had pursued her but moments ago. Clutched in her claws was a satchel full of shiny (priceless) objects from her last heist. Although, she was somewhat disappointed at the absence of the Dark Knight, who always seemed to be on her tail.

"Stealing is never any fun without Batman." The cat-burglar sighed, leaning against the leg of a water tower.

 _I wonder what's got Bats so busy that he couldn't show up to see little ol' me?_

Catwoman's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a yelping dog. Although, she was surprised to find that the noise emanated from what looked like a black and red figure…. falling from the sky! What caught her even more off-guard, was a moment later when a white, rope-like substance that shot from one of his hands. Selina could clearly see that the stranger's attempt to come to a smooth landing had failed as he flew into the repulsive alleyway. Her curiosity overpowering her common sense, the Cat slowly approached the gap in the roofs where the mystery man had fell.

Hiding herself from the hazy glow of the moon, Catwoman cautiously poked her head over the edge of the roof. She spotted the red and black blur from earlier sprawled unmoving on the concrete pavement. He was shorter than most men, with a full body suit and mask. In the center of his webbed torso sat a large black spider. Cat sunk father back into her shadow as the stranger got to his feet with a groan. Then out of nowhere, he started talking to himself.

"What? Me almost falling to my death? Or you almost getting wiped from existence? Cause it's kind of hard to tell who you're really worried about right now!"

Selina tilted her head, confused.

 _Who is he talking to? Don't tell me this guy's another nut-case!_

Catwoman's thoughts were interrupted once again as the figure suddenly darted up the brick wall and flipped onto the opposite roof, leaving the cat-burglar barely any time to duck out of sight.

 _Circus clown or not, I'd better be careful about that speed of his._

The spider in spandex looked out over the city, apparently taking in the sights. He then started muttering gibberish to himself, as if he could look any more ridiculous. Cat watched as the man grew silent, then seemed to sum up his thoughts in one, serious word,

"Gotham."

A smile crept onto Catwoman's face as the stranger made his way through the series of rooftops.

 _Tonight just got interesting._

* * *

Spider-man cautiously traveled through the city via rooftop, so as not to bring too much attention to himself. Although, he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching him.

 _If only my stupid spider-sense would stop giving me a headache!_

 _ **Don't dis your gifts bro! How many times has your spider-sense saved your life, huh?**_

 _Plenty! Just now is not the time for it to start going off every time a pigeon flies by!_

 _ **Maybe I didn't make myself clear… trust your spider-sense!**_

Peter landed on the adjoining rooftop and stopped to consider Other's words. Maybe he was right? His instincts wouldn't be sending him all those signals if _something_ wasn't wrong! So finally, for once in his life as Spider-man, he decided to listen to his spider-sense. The wall-crawler spun around quickly, in order to catch whoever might be watching off-guard. And as expected, he spotted a cat-like figure dart out of sight.

"Here kitty, kitty! Come on out, I know you're there!" Spidey called to his shadow.

After a few seconds of silence, the feline stalker slid out from behind the corner.

"Oh well, you found me," Catwoman purred, "Now it's your turn to hide."

Spider-man put his hand on his hip, then brought the other to his masked jaw as if considering the offer.

He replied shortly after, "Nah, I've never really been that good at hide-and-seek. Something about keeping my mouth shut for long periods of time doesn't really appeal to me."

Selina was amused by the Spider's light sense of humor, something she didn't hear that often considering all the vigilantes in Gotham were dark and brooding.

"Aww, just one game? I promise I'll go easy on you," the skilled thief teased as she stepped closer to Spider-man.

"My Aunt always told me not to play with strangers, Miss…" Spidey drifted off, not knowing what to call his new acquaintance.

"It's Catwoman," the other volunteered.

"Spider-man."

Peter had been eyeing the satchel in Catwoman's hand during their witty banter, and decided to bring it up.

"So, what's in the bag, Cat? Milk and cookies?"

Selina lifted up the sack full of stolen spoils.

"Oh, this? Just a little something I borrowed from a few fat cats."

Spidey frowned under his masked, but continued on in one of those a TV commercial voices,

"You know, thievery is bad for your health. Side effects may include: loss of morals, imprisonment, and in some cases… death."

Catwoman merely shrugged, and answered casually, "Well it's a good thing I have extra lives then."

The web-slinger sighed, he was beginning to feel where this conversation was going.

"So… this is the part where you take my words to heart, give up your life as a criminal, and we both go gallivanting off into the sunset."

Cat smirked at the notion and replied, "Not a chance Spider."

Without warning, the feline felon dropped the satchel and lunged at Spidey with claws unsheathed. Peter would be lying if he said that this wasn't expected. He easily sidestepped the attack, then attempted to bring his elbow down on his opponents back as she rushed by. But Catwoman had a few tricks up her black leather sleeves. She swiftly evaded the elbow, bending forward onto her hands then swinging her foot up to kick Spider-man in the jaw with her heel. While the arachnid staggered backwards a few steps, Cat kept after him with a series of punches and kicks.

Although he had been caught off guard at first, Spidey quickly assessed the situation and made a comeback. He grabbed his attacker's wrist and flip-kicked her onto the floor (Or is it ceiling? Since they are on a rooftop after all). Still crouched on the ground, Catwoman pulled out her whip and rapped it around Spider-man's ankles. She then pulled on it hard, yanking the hero's feet out from under him. Selina used her bought time to distance herself from the webbed warrior.

It was obvious to Peter that the fight was going nowhere fast, and honestly, somewhat annoying. It was time to get a little more serious.

 _Ok, no more Mister Nice Spider._

Reaching down to his ankles, Spidey grabbed the whip and snapped it like floss, freeing himself. He jumped to his feet, and in a blur, thwipped webs at Catwomans hands and feet. Although struggling hard, she could not break free of the substance.

Peter dusted off his hands and said, "Normally, I would go for the KO. But my aunt also told me not to hit girls."

The only response he managed to get from the cat-burglar was a mischievous grin.

 _That's weird. What is she sm-_

All of a sudden, Peter's spider-sense went haywire. And he soon found out the cause, as he received a well-placed boot to the face. After tumbling head over heels, the discombobulated teen looked up to see what had hit him. Surprise! It was Batman! Spider-man's surprise instantly turned to rage as he realized that one of his own "allies" just kicked him in the face for no apparent reason!

"What the heck Batman!" Spidey jumped to his feet fuming, "I was doing my civic duty as a superhero, while you're off doing who knows what, and all I get from you is a kick in the head?!"

The Dark Knight grabbed the front of Spider-man's suit and snapped in an equally furious voice, "For your information, I was just taking care of the emergency that YOU wear supposed to help with! But instead, I find you here playing a cat! So why would you expect anything less than a beating after how long it took me to track you down!"

Amidst the heat of the argument, Catwoman managed to break free of the webbed handcuffs.

Picking up the discarded bag of treasures, the feline purred, "As fun as it would be to watch you two boys get at each other's thoughts, I've got places to be and people to rob."

Both vigilantes watched helplessly as Catwoman disappeared into the shadows of Gotham. Batman turned away from Spidey and jumped off the rooftop, supposedly heading to another zeta tube. As Peter followed the man in black at a distance, he had a thought.

 _If I didn't know better… I'd say that Bat's let Catwoman get away on purpose._

But of course, he knew better. Batman doesn't have a heart… right?

* * *

 _ **Booyah! Finished it! I'm awesome!**_

 **[Well aren't you humble]**

 **(Pffhht, no!)**

 _ **Nothing you guys can say will ruin this moment for me!**_

 **[Oh really…]**

 _ **Ok, just because I said that, doesn't necessarily mean you can start mouthing off at me. I'm still the author you know!**_

 **(Well in my opinion-)**

 _ **Nope!**_

 **[If I could say-]**

 _ **Nada!**_

 **(I think that-)**

 **LA LA LA LA LA!**

… **.**

 **[Your fight scenes suck]**

 **NOOOOOO!**

 **Yup! I finished another one! Fanfiction: 1 / School: 0! But anyways, I'm gonna talk a little about my future plans for the Injustice of Being Spider-man. Yes, I will have Spidey's temporary home base in New York, but I'm not going to focus the whole story in that location. I'm planning on New York sort of being a non-supervillain infested city, just the ordinary crimes and bad-guys! I figured that since not much goes on at New York in DC comics (I KNOW! I KNOW! TEEN TITANS! Sorry, they're not gonna be in this fanfic** **) I'll just have Spider-man visit the other super-hero cities throughout the story. If you're ok with that, thanks. If not… I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! THIS IS MY STORY! Sorry about that, I just wanted to point out that Spidey's time in DC Universe will mostly be spent in places other than New York. Although that is the city he is protecting during the time gaps between important events. So thank you for your support!**


	14. The Princess and the Spider

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own nothin.**

 _ **Tada! I'm back!**_

 **[You say that as if it's a good thing.]**

 _ **Right after finishing my last chapter, I suddenly didn't feel like writing the next one.**_

 **(I noticed! You suddenly got all chill and started going about your life as usual!)**

 **[I've seen this behavior before… DO YOU HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK AGAIN?]**

 _ **NO! Anything but! I just spent the last week brainstorming and I've got this one idea that-**_

 **(WOAH! DON'T SAY ANYTHING! THE READERS ARE HERE!)**

 **[SPOILER ALERT!]**

 ***takes a deep breath:** _ **Right, I'm okay now. No Easter eggs.**_

 **[I can't believe you almost told them the ending!]**

 **(Dude! Keep your super-nerd thoughts to yourself!)**

 _ **Sorry! I just got REALLY excited when I finally figured out the story plot!**_

 **[Aren't you supposed to do that FIRST?]**

 _ **Pfft, NO… maybe.**_

 **(See! This is why you need Deadpool! He makes everything better!)**

 _ **Like bacon?**_

 **[You're comparing Deadpool to bacon… I'm flattered.]**

 _ **Anyways, I've got the future of this story ALL planned out now-**_

 **(Now!)**

 _ **Yes, NOW! Gosh, just let me write the chapter already!**_

 **[Now?]**

 _ **I REALLY hate you guys sometimes!**_

… **.**

 **(Like now-)**

 _ **SHUT UP!**_

* * *

Chapter 14: The Princess and the Spider

Peter leaned awkwardly against one of the Watchtower's support beams, as Batman worked on an unknown project on the Justice League computers a few feet away. He had been giving the web-slinger the silent treatment ever since that little "incident" in Gotham. It was seriously starting to make Spidey nervous when Bats refused to respond to any of his quips and jabs. Even Diana was beginning to send pitying looks in his direction.

Spider-man uncrossed his arms and approached the dark vigilante, determined to break the silence.

"Look Bats," Peter began, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm sorry that I went and ditched you back-"

Before Spider-man could finish his attempt at an apology, Batman shoved something in his face (he really just handed it to him, but Spidey didn't see it that way). Peter examined the documents he had been handed.

 _ **Hey look! It's your face on a piece of paper! So what?**_

 _No, this is legal documentation on yours truly! Apparently, Bats somehow got all this information together. I'm officially no longer a ghost in this dimension._

 _ **Which means…**_

 _We can buy stuff._

 _ **Oh, joy.**_

A thought came to mind as Peter looked down at the photograph of himself.

"Hold on a second… how did you get this picture of me?" He asked suspiciously side-glancing at Bruce.

The caped crusader's face remained emotionless.

Spider-man leaned forward with an annoyed look on his face, "You hacked my phone didn't you? Dude! I had personal stuff on there! You can't do that!"

Batman simply crossed his arms and replied gruffly, "Just did."

Spider-man then began a long and strenuous rant on the importance of privacy and how it should be respected. Although Batman, still ignoring the wall-crawler, interrupted him once again. He pointed to the information on a computer screen and grumbled,

"I've set up your bank account, there should be enough money in there to last you a year. Considering you don't waste it all that is."

Peter rolled his eyes as he approached the screen, "Yeah, yeah! We all know how irresponsible I- DANG, THAT'S A LOT OF ZEROES!"

The amount of money on the account seemed reasonable to Batman. Although, to Spider-man, it looked like a fortune.

"I can't take this!" Peter exclaimed, backing away from the screen as if it would bite him.

Batman scowled and answered, "I don't see why not. You've been living here, using up expensive resources. With this, you can set yourself up in New York somewhere."

He made a valid point. It would be much more efficient if Spidey got an apartment in New York and worked from there.

 _But I don't need THIS much money to do that! I'm not buying a mansion or anything!_

 _ **He's trying to get rid of us.**_

 _What? Why would you say- why would he-_

 _ **You're becoming an annoyance to him. You're just getting in the way, and I bet that's what all the others are thinking too!**_

 _Aw come on! That's a little harsh don't you think?_

Spidey eyed Batman and asked cautiously, "Are… you to kicking me out?"

"Yes."

Peter felt like someone just told him his goldfish died. Batman's blunt and uncaring reply didn't help to disprove Other's remark.

"Well, guess I'll just get out of your hair, Bats." Spider-man quipped angrily.

Wonder Woman watched as the ticked-off vigilante headed towards the zeta-tube. She waited till he was out of range, then approached Batman.

"You didn't have to be so hard on him, Bruce. He's just a kid."

The Dark Knight whirled around and retorted in a furious voice that could barely be contained in a whisper, "Well, that KID has caused me relentless stress for the past few weeks! Handling a league full of "adult" superheroes was bad enough! Now there's him!"

Diana crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow for effect.

"So… just because you're missing you're beauty sleep, you get to be a jerk to the new guy? Peter's been through a lot in the past month too! You're not the _only_ one with problems."

On the inside, Batman was probably wishing he hadn't gotten on the Princess's bad side… maybe even considering an apology. But then again, he has a reputation to live up to. Bruce refused to budge on his position, and this became painfully obvious to Wonder Woman.

"You're not going after him are you?"

"Not a chance," Bats growled.

Batman then proceeded to turn back to the computers, acting as if he _actually_ had important work to do. Diana sighed as she left the hopeless hero to his "business". In the moment, she decided to go after Spider-man herself.

 _I can't imagine those two ever being anything more than rivals._

Apparently, Spidey and Bats couldn't go a single day without making it a competition.

* * *

Meanwhile, high above New York City…

Spider-man vented silently as he swung from building to building among the somewhat familiar airspace.

 _Can you believe that guy? Always acting so high and mighty, when he's really just a jerk!_

 _ **Haven't I been saying that since day one?**_

 _I know it's just- I thought I could start over in this world. That maybe this time I would have teammates that support me instead of bringing me down. But, then again, it wouldn't feel very realistic if my life suddenly got better._

 _ **Why not? You deserve to be appreciated once and a while! If those douches back in our dimension can't realize that… then maybe you should-**_

Other's suggestion was cut off as body he inhabited collided with a wall. Spider-man hadn't been paying attention on account of their interesting conversation, hence, the rude awakening.

"Ouch!" Peter groaned, using his wall-climbing powers to peel himself from the obstacle.

 _Where did that come from?_

When Spider-man first appeared in DC New York, the area seemed mostly familiar. He had practically memorized every building and street back in his own world, which led to the arrogance of not looking before he leaped.

 _In the good old days, I barely had to use my spider-sense when on patrol. I guess I'm gonna have to be more careful when I go a thwipp'n._

He could usually recognize the altered areas where buildings should have been, the Daily Bugle for instance. Peter took a quick look around to get a clue on which landmark was missing this time. The images clicked in his brain as he recognized the landscape.

 _Hey, isn't this where the Avengers Tower is supposed to be?_

The web-slinger crawled the rest of the way up the building to get full picture. And upon further inspection, Peter confirmed that the area before him resembled the one around the former Stark Industries. The only thing missing was the giant glow stick.

 _ **Well at least**_ **that** _ **eyesore is gone.**_

 _I guess._

 _ **You're not having second thoughts, right? Come on! We don't need those guys!**_

 _Maybe not… but New York does._

 _ **Are you kidding? The Avengers have been a danger magnet for the city ever since they assembled!**_

 _Now hold on a second, they're not the only ones that have caused trouble for New York. Remember Dr. Connors?_

 _ **And that was SO bad? Only, what, a few hundred people died?**_

 _Don't sound so happy about-_

Spider-man became distracted from Other's disturbing comment as his spider-sense picked up a mugging in process.

 _This conversation isn't over._

 _ **Whatever, Mom.**_

The spandex-clad vigilante leaped from his perch and headed towards the disturbance. As he approached the scene, Spidey caught a glimpse of his entertainment for the night, where three average thugs cornered a woman in an abandoned lot. The idiots weren't even wearing ski masks to avoid recognition from security cameras. One of the men had a gun aimed at the victim, while another had his tucked in his back pocket. The third stooge held a baseball bat in his right hand and was swinging it menacingly.

 _Amateurs._

Spider-man decided to stop the encounter before one of the thugs preformed the final act of idiocy and shot themselves.

 _ **Remember this is your first impression, make it look good.**_

 _Relax! It's just a mugging, how hard could it be?_

 _ **Aaaaand you jinxed it.**_

Peter rolled his eyes and stealthily approached the trio, picking up on the conversation.

"For the last time lady, you walk on our turf, you pay up," Slurred the gun handler in a thick New York accent.

"I already told you," the cornered woman retorted bravely, "I lost my purse this morning!"

The third mugger with the bat replied with a gruff chuckle, "Well, we got other ways you can repay us…"

The lady's face turned pale as the three began to inch closer.

"Wow, I think I lost a few IQ points just by listening to you guys talk!"

The thugs halted at the sound of a new voice that came from behind. It was Peter's plan to draw the muggers' attention away from the innocent civilian. And as expected, all three whirled around to find the source of the insult.

"Do all you criminals get your dialogue from the same handbook? I mean seriously, would it kill you to take a few seconds out of you busy schedule to practice grammar?"

It took the low-lives a few seconds, but they eventually they figured out that the masked stranger was actually mocking them. And when they did, you can imagine their reaction.

"Just who the hell do you think you are, freak?" Idiot number two spat, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Spidey grinned mischievously under his mask as if anticipating such a remark.

"Well, if you must know…"

The wall-crawler pointed to himself, giving off an air of confidence.

"… I'm the spider who kicked your butts."

The first thug snickered and answered densely, "What you talk'n bout? I've never seen ya before in my-"

Before the man's thick skull could process what was happening, the gloved fist of yours truly sent him tumbling across the rough ground. The unfortunate soul's accomplices watched dumb-struck as the hero casually stood at arm's length from them. The one on the left finally realized he should probably shoot the maniac, but before he reached his weapon, Spidey sent the criminal to the same fate as the previous. Spidey could sense the last man standing hesitate, contemplating whether or not this was worth losing his freedom over.

"Well, at least one of you has half a brain. Then again, who with any intelligence at all would rob people for a living?" Spider-man shrugged, using his natural superpower to provoke the mugger into attacking.

Peter inwardly smiled as the man took the bait, and ran at him with the bat held above his head like he was going to pound the arachnid into the ground.

 _ **Wow, does this guy even know how vulnerable of a position that is?**_

"I know right? He's totally leaving himself open."

Spider-man's comment to no one in particular confused the thug into letting what little guard he had waver, leaving Spidey all the time in the world to take him down. This he executed with a swift kick to the gut. The broken man crumpled to the ground with a wheeze.

 _ **That was sad. I'm sure no one would miss these guys if we…**_

 _Drop them off at the police station._

 _ **Dang it! You're no fun!**_

 _Your definition of fun and my definition of fun are very different._

 _ **I wonder what Bats does for kicks…**_

 _Don't change the subject._

 _ **Probably interrogations or something.**_

 _And now you're ignoring me._

Peter sighed and turned his attention away from Other. It hadn't been long since the last thug took a hit, but his spider-sense should have stopped buzzing by now.

 _ **Dangling people from buildings…**_

 _ **Human target practice…**_

 _ **Making out with Wonder Woman…**_

 _Other… I don't think we're alone._

 _ **What makes you say that Watson?**_

 _My spider-sense is still active. There might be- wait –what did you say?_

 _ **Um… I called you Watson?**_

 _No, before when you were listing Batman's hobbies-_

 _ **COUGH- nothing. Hey look! We're surrounded!**_

Spider-man snapped his head up, remembering his hunch. One after the other, more armed thugs had begun coming out of the woodwork. They didn't seem too pleased at the sight of their fellow gang members taking a nap. How do we know that they belonged to a gang you ask? Well, the bright red graffiti on the far wall of the lot screaming PROPERTY OF THE PITBULLS had nothing to do with it.

 _How did we not see that before?_

 _ **Forget that! Who names their gang**_ **the Pitbulls** _ **?**_

 _Dog lovers I guess…_

A dark-haired man wearing a red bandana and a motorcycle jacket stepped out from amidst the assembly and began to speak.

"I don't care who you think you are, freak! But let's get one thing strait: No one messes with our boys and lives to joke about it. Cause we're the Pitbulls!"

Peter took another glance at the words plastered on the wall, then looked back at the supposed leader.

"Noooooo, and here I thought you were the Toy Poodles!

Apparently, the Pitbulls didn't take sarcasm very well either.

 _ **Ha, you've done it now!**_

 _Relax! There are only, what, a few hundred?_

 _ **That mouth of yours is gonna get us killed.**_

Spidey was fully prepared to spend the next half hour dishing out knuckle sandwiches… if it wasn't for the patriotic streak that barreled into the sea of gang members, sending the crooks flying in all directions. Everyone, including Spider-man, stood gaping in shock at the unexpected occurrence. As the dust cleared around the area of destruction, all eyes found themselves staring at the goddess Wonder Woman. Peter Cheshire grinned under his mask at the showy appearance of his fellow teammate.

 _ **Now that's how you make an entrance!**_

 _Hey, I could probably do that if I could fly!_

 _ **Puh-leez, you're nowhere**_ **near** _ **her level of awesomeness.**_

Diana put on a smile of her own as she saw the stunned expressions of the half-wits. Stepping over the unconscious bodies of thugs, she approached Spider-man.

"I can do this myself you know. I can totally handle these idiots," Spidey pouted; he didn't need a baby sitter.

 _ **You SO need help.**_

 _Nuh uh! It would just take longer by myself!_

The princess's eyes shone with compassion as she placed her hand on the teen's shoulder.

"No one should have to fight alone. Which is why you have teammates like me you be there for you when you need it, not just when you want it."

Peter huffed and crossed his arms in objection, "Well I guess no one gave Bats that memo."

Wonder Woman chuckled and replied with a smile, "Everyone has their own way of showing they care."

The black-haired maiden enforced the note with a swift punch to the arm.

"And it's not like you're the most cooperative when it comes to following orders."

Peter guiltily rubbed the back of his neck in surrender.

"Okay, I get it! I can be a douche sometimes too!"

Diana smirked mischievously, bringing up memories from their first encounter, "And you're not even eighteen yet."

Although this touching moment would have made any normal person cry, the gang (Yes, they're still standing there) didn't seem to be feeling the love.

"Cut the mushy crap," one of the members spoke up, "Get em' boys!"

The princess and the spider exchanged looks as the mob rushed forward like a swarm of angry bees.

"Sooo… superhero team up?" Spider-man asked, gesturing to the oncoming thugs suggestively.

"Superhero team up." Wonder Woman confirmed.

And with that, the two began bringing justice to the streets of New York City.

* * *

 **(Whaaaaaat? No fight scene?)**

 **[Disappointing.]**

 _ **Hey, I put one in there!**_

 **Whines*(But that was only three guys!)**

 _ **Now look, I made this chapter super long. So I don't want to hear it!**_

 **[This is what you consider a long chapter?]**

 **(Our standards went out the window a long time ago, White. Better get used to it.)**

 _ **FYI, my chapters are WAY neater than they were when I first started writing this fanfic!**_

 **Cough*(Barely)**

 _ **Oh right, I almost forgot…. THIS IS NOT A SPIDER-MAN AND WONDER WOMAN PAIRING! SO GET THE FRICK'N IDEA OUT OF YOUR HEADS!**_

 **[To put it more civilly: SpiderPool don't do romance.]**

 **(It's like his code or something.)**

 _ **Hey, other authors got their things and I got mine! And romance ain't one of them!**_

 **[That's painfully obvious. You wouldn't know how to write good the good stuff if you tried!]**

 _ **And by "the good stuff" you mean…**_

 **(He's hopeless.)**

 **Yeah yeah, I know. It's been two weeks since my last update. But in my defense, I was literally stranded in a foreign country with no Wifi! And I have this cool fishbone dragon sculpture to prove it! Also, my dog has this fatal heart condition… and she could to die at any moment. I'm an animal lover, so this pains my very being. I don't want my sappy mood to ruin the quality of my writing, so I might not update again for at least another week. But on a brighter note… I finally figured out how the story should end! It was so perfect when I thought of it that I just wanted to end the fanfic at that very moment! But that wouldn't be fair to you guys, so I'll keep writing the stuff in-between. Although, I REALLY want to hear your guesses on how I plan to finish these fantastical adventures of a wayward spider! SERIOUSLY! TELL ME! Just a heads up, none of your reviewed ideas will affect the final outcome of MY story. And if it just so happens that we're mentally linked and you come up with the exact same idea as me... I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST!**


	15. Metropolis Meatballs

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or DC comics—which is a good thing, because if I did both companies would go under in a matter of days.**

 _ **So… hi.**_

 **[Hi? After all this time, over months of rejecting your duties as a fanfiction author, that's all you have to say for yourself?]**

 _ **I know but…**_

 **(And here comes the excuse.)**

 _ **I'm writing a book.**_

… **.**

 **(You're writing a** _ **what**_ **now?)**

 _ **A fiction novel.**_

… **.**

 **(NO FRICK'N WAY!)**

 **[You—who has the focus and reliability of a five-year-old—are writing a book?]**

 _ **Uh… that's what I said. And what do you mean "five-year-old"?**_

 **(O mah gah, you've got to be kidding!)**

 _ **Okay! Enough with the shocked reactions already! I get that I'm not really the most rock-solid writer…**_

 **(Like at all.)**

… _ **and I can get distracted sometimes…**_

 **[All the time.]**

… _ **but I'm really serious about this thing!**_

 **[Alright then, riddle me this: Why are you bothering to update this story if your sooo determined to finish a book?]**

 **(Yeah, Mister Brain Fart!)**

 _ **First—eww, my brain doesn't fart, it wanders off. Second—I'm kinda having a slight writers block, so what better way to get the creative juices flowing than with fanfiction!**_

 **[First, what would you call that disappearing act for the past few months—if not a year? Second, you're basically saying that you're fans aren't as important as some half-baked book.]**

 _ **I croaked. Nuff said. And as for my fans, an apology isn't enough, so I'm writing this!**_

 **(It better make me cry and junk, or else I'm ditching.)**

 **[Same.]**

 _ **Alrighty! Prepare to get your socks knocked off!**_

 **[But this one is focused on Superman, so it'll probably stink no matter how good your writing is.]**

 _ **What do you have against Supey?**_

 **[I don't. Just saying, you've never read a single Superman comic in your life.]**

 **(Shame on you.)**

 _ **But…**_

 **[The** _ **Brainiac Attack**_ **movie when you were six doesn't count.]**

 _ **Aww shnizzlefittz!**_

* * *

Chapter 15: Metropolis Meatballs

Peter released a long sigh as he opened his apartment door with one hand, in the other was clutched a slightly crumpled bag of groceries. It was a Saturday morning, and he had just got back from his once a week pick-me-up. The bag was in such poor shape because _apparently_ the current dimension's customer service was just as helpful as Spidey's old one.

 _Oy, this has to be the third time this month I got held up at convenience store because some genius pulled a gun on the counter clerk._

 _ **Hey, idiots gotta make a living somehow.**_

 _I hope your being sarcastic._

The off-duty superhero dropped his food supply on the kitchen counter, and proceeded to collapse on his pitiful excuse for a couch. The place was small; small kitchen, small living room, small window. Peter had to haggle the landlord for at least half an hour until the financial vampire cut the rent cost down to a reasonable price.

 _Eh, it was worth it._

 _ **I'm sure the rats would agree.**_

 _What's a few rodents compared to a giant man-eating lizard?_

 _ **Yeah, come back to me when you wake up one day without your toes.**_

 _Aww man! Now I'll never go to sleep!_

Contrary to his statement, Spidey slowly began to doze off. Non-stop bad guy busting can take a toll on a hard working hero. The odd smelling cushions of the couch called out to him, and he was about to sink into a power nap… but the loud and annoying beeping of his cellphone had other plans.

 _ **Argg! Batman changed our ringtone again!**_

 _Ho, we will have words._

Peter tried to move his hand to reach for his cellphone, but his arm had fallen asleep from lack of circulation.

 _ **Shut the stupid thing off already!**_

 _But I'm soooo tiiiired!_

 _ **Now!**_

 _Mmff._

With arm still half asleep, the weary teen dug the beeping device out of his pants pocket. "Hello, who is this?" He mumbled, trying his best to sound alive.

"Clark Kent," The caller replied calmly. It took Peter's brain a few seconds to start up, and when it finally did, all exhausting left his system in one stupidly loud exclamation.

"Superman!" He blurted out, then bit his tongue a moment later when he realized the super-hero identity crisis he could have caused. "Whoops, sorry. I just didn't expect you to call my cellphone."

The caped crusader chuckled and reassured on the other end, "It's all right. This line is secure, so no one can listen in."

"Except Batman?"

"Except Batman."

Peter huffed while sitting upright on the couch. "Figures. So whatcha need from me Supey? If it's cooking advice, I can make a mean enchilada."

Even though he couldn't see it, Spider-man was sure the man of steel rolled his eyes at the quip.

 _I wonder if x-ray vision works through telephone._

 _ **Doubt it.**_

 _Can't a spider dream?_

"Actually," Superman's voice brought the teenager back to reality, "this has something to do with my job."

Peter's excitement only continued to rise at the super's mention of his newspaper reporter job at the Daily Planet. The reason he knew where his team member worked was because he—being the super nerd he is—did detailed research on all the Justice Leagues' secret identities.

 _ **I'm pretty sure you squealed when you found out Superman works for a newspaper.**_

 _Did not! I was just hyperventilating._

 _ **Dork.**_

 _Jerk._

"Spidey, are you still there?" The reporter asked after Peter's prolonged silence.

"Yeah," He replied quickly. "Go ahead."

"Alright, so Superman (me) is supposed to have an interview with the Daily Planet this afternoon concerning the Justice League, but Jimmy, our photographer, called in sick…"

Peter rocked back and forth on the couch in anticipation, he had a pretty good idea where this conversation was going.

"…I wouldn't ask this of you if all the other photographers weren't on other assignments. Plus, you said you used to work freelance for the newspaper in your dimension."

"Soooo, do you want me to fill in for this Jimmy guy?" Spider-man cut to the chase.

"Would you be okay with that?" The super-hero asked cautiously. "Don't worry, it would only be a one-time gig, so you don't have to commit to it."

Spidey grinned and answered brightly, "Yeah, no problem! All you got to do is introduce me to your boss, and we've got a deal."

A sigh of relief was heard through the cellphone. "Thanks, you're really helping me out with this. Do you need a ride to Metropolis?"

Peter shook his head, then remembered that he wasn't having a face-to-face conversation and answered verbally. "Nah, I'll travel by web. If I'm lucky, I might even catch a free ride on top of a tour bus. Yay for me, right?"

Clark chuckled again, the uncomfortable mood officially gone. "Alright then, I assume you know where you're going?"

The wall-crawler leaped from his position on the sofa to a more comfortable one on the nearest paint peeling wall. "Yup. What time should we meet up?"

"Does two-thirty work?"

"Sure, I'll be there."

"Great! Bring your camera."

Peter brought the cellphone away from his ear just after the other hung up. A few seconds of silence took place, then came to an end when Spider-man flipped from the wall to the floor with a victory cry. "Yeah! I'm back in the photo biz!"

 _ **It's just one job. And besides, you forgot to ask if we're even getting payed.**_

 _Meh, it doesn't really matter since I'm pretty much set for life._

 _ **For a year.**_

 _Uh, did you_ _ **see**_ _that paycheck?_

 _ **Fine, for life then. But don't you think you're going pretty far out of your way to make sure Superman gets his face plastered on a newspaper?**_

Peter picked up his backpack and began stuffing it full of necessities for a road trip, the camera being a no-brainer.

 _Hey, that's what teammates do! Besides, I kind of miss my old job._

 _ **You can't be serious! You actually miss old flat top biting your head off every time you walk in the room?**_

The freelance photographer added a casual yet nerdy pair of clothes to his assortment of packables. Old habits die hard.

 _It wasn't_ _ **that**_ _bad._

 _ **Well, we both have very different definitions of "bad".**_

 _Obviously._

During his conversation, Spidey had gotten into his crime-fighting getup. He swung his backpack over his web-patterned shoulder and squeezed through his small window (Why Spider-man never uses the door when in costume I will never know). Sticking to the wall outside, he flicks his wrist and web-slingshots his way out of the alley. Swinging in the desired direction, Spider-man takes off towards the famous city of Metropolis with excitement levels through the atmosphere.

* * *

Weaving his way through the crowded sidewalks of Metropolis in civilian clothes, Peter Parker continues to scorn himself for not refilling his web-shooters.

 _I can't believe I face-planted a billboard… again._

 _ **Hey, at least it wasn't one of J.J.'s**_

 _I guess. But that doesn't make it any less embarrassing._

 _ **It's your fault for forgetting to refill them last night…**_

 _But—_

 _ **…AND forgetting to pack refills.**_

Peter started grumbling under his breath, causing a few odd looks in his direction. He had been so excited when Super-man asked him to step in as the newspaper photographer, he packed everything _but_ web fluid. His stomach growled, reminding him of another thing he forgot.

 _Man, I'm gonna keel over if I don't get something to eat._

The web-slinger searched through the masses of passersby for any sign of street food. Finally, his eyes locked onto a meatball cart not too far ahead. Peter walked along the sidewalk until he reached the brightly colored food stand.

 _I wonder if these things are actually meatballs._

 _ **This is Metropolis, not New York.**_

 _Good point._

The gray-haired vendor with a mustache, large tinted glasses, and a greasy blue apron grinned as Spidey handed him a five dollar bill. In return, the starving spider received a paper cup of steaming hot meatballs. He waved goodbye to the friendly old man, and got back to walking. Not able to hold out any longer, Peter shoved half of his lunch in his mouth.

"Oh man," He exclaimed, going against Aunt May's statutes of never talking with his mouth full. "This stuff is amazing!"

 _ **Hey, how can you talk normal with three meatballs stuffed in your mouth?**_

 _Practice._

 _ **For shame.**_

Peter stopped in his meat-munching tracks, and turned in a full circle. Metropolis was a way bigger world than he was used to.

 _Uh oh. Am I lost?_

 _ **Don't ask me. I'm you.**_

 _Do me a favor and don't talk to me for a while, 'kay?_

 _ **Whatever, just don't blame me when you walk into another billboard.**_

Peter rolled his eyes and continued to search the bustling city for his ticket to the Daily Planet. After helplessly wandering for a solid ten minutes, his phone began to beep. That ringtone wasn't getting any less annoying.

"Hello?" The wayward hero answered the bat-jacked device. "If this is State Farm, I really need saving right now."

A familiar chuckle resonated on the other end. "Sorry, this is the other resident superhero, Pete."

Spidey, still foggy from the Metropolis meatballs, took his good ol' time staring blankly at a brick wall before exclaiming, "Super—"

"Clark Kent."

"Right, sorry." The teen composed himself and leaned against the same wall he once shared a staring contest with. "What's up? I was just in the neighborhood—as us friendly neighborhood spiders do—but I got a little distracted 'cause of these _super_ tasty-looking meatballs and…"

"You got lost."

"Bingo." Peter took a quick and curios glance at the surrounding rooftops. "How did you know?"

The words that came through the phone sounded like those said with a smile. "X-ray and super-vision remember? It's a package deal along with the super-strength and super-speed."

Spider-man shakes his head and replies cheerily, "Ooooh, so that's with the codename and the—"

"Yeah."

"And here I thought Spider-man was super cheesy."

Peter signaled S.O.S. with his hands to his unseen watcher, hoping to get directions without actually having to ask.

Superman returned the gesture by notifying, "Walk one block south and take a left."

The vigilante pushed off the wall and started following the alien's orders up the crowded sidewalk. He kept the conversation going over the phone by stating, "Metropolis is way different than any other city I've been to."

Clark accepted the chat request by answering, "How so?"

"Well, after swinging around places like Gotham, Hell's Kitchen, and New York… this place? Candyland."

"I'm glad you think so highly of it."

Peter's spider-sense warned him just in time to avoid stepping in something that looked disturbingly like flattened meatloaf. "Don't get me wrong. Candyland can give you nasty cavities. And don't even get me started on the sugar crashes."

There was short moment of radio silence, before the newspaper reporter finally whispered, "Like into billboards?"

The teen's eyes widened as he shot back in a high voice, "You saw that?!" Peter groaned and brought a hand to his face. "Wow, this is so embarrassing."

Superman laughed through the phone and reassured good-naturedly, "Don't worry about it. I won't tell Batman."

"Please don't. The last thing my self-esteem needs is that guy walking all over it."

Spidey got into a quicker yet comfortable pace as he made his way to the Daily Planet. He dropped the now emptied meatball cup into a trash bin, wishing his sorry excuse for lunch had lasted longer.

Clark Kent changed the subject from billboards to bats. "I honestly don't know why you two don't get along." He started in a genuine tone. "Granted, you both can be annoying sometimes, but that's no reason to throw each other under the bus on a daily basis."

Peter sighed and scratched his neck. "It's a _me_ thing. Getting on peoples nerves is kinda my special little superpower. Not everyone reacts like Batman does . . . just mostly everyone."

As if the universe wanted to prove his point, the wall-crawler stopped his forward pace as an elderly woman glared menacingly at him from her miniature flower bed. This was the "don't mess with me whippersnapper" glare, one of the most commonplace and dangerous weapons of the senile society. Smiling to show he meant no harm, Peter carefully removed his foot from the patch of brick that indicated it was the woman's property, and skirted around slowly. After distancing himself considerably from the deadly old lady, he let out that breath he was holding.

"Hey, is everything all right?" Came the concerned question from the cell phone.

"Oh yeah." Peter could still feel the woman's stare on the back of his head. "I was just settling a territorial dispute is all."

A confused pause fell over the line, then Superman shook it off and said, "Well anyways, you should be able to see the building to your left now."

He was right, Spidey could see the building from across the street, and my, what a sight it was. The mix-mash of old-timey and modern architecture towered high above, with a huge model of the earth planted on top with the words DAILY PLANET siting on a metal hoop circling it. Peter was hit with the strange sense of nostalgia while looking at the over-the-top representation of the newspaper's name.

 _If a cranky old guy with a mustache runs this place, I am_ so _jumping out the nearest window._

The part-time photographer and full-time hero pushed through the front doors and into the lobby. He quickly avoided the "getting kicked out on his butt" part and b-lined straight for the stairs. He'd had plenty of experiences at his former job at dodging any unwanted attention to know that stairs were the safest route. Jumping two at a time, Peter headed for the floor he assumed held the editor-in-chief's office. Spider-man's alter ego opened the door a crack, checking for signs of guards, then relaxed as he saw a man resembling Superman wearing glasses in a dress shirt and blue tie wave him over down the hall. Spidey marveled at the superhero's underwhelming disguise. Forget Batman, how this guy not have the whole world banging at his doorstep by now is a mystery all in itself.

Peter casually approached the reporter, and was greeted with a smile.

"I see you made it," Clark commented as Spidey came up beside him.

"I see you need lessons on hiding you're alter ego. The secret . . . no one knows there is one."

The man frowned and replied, "What's wrong with my disguise?"

Peter raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Your joking right?" The 17-year-old looked up and down the hallway cautiously before whispering, "Anyone can Photoshop glasses on Superman, buddy. One click, and boom, Clark Kent's face all over the front page. Talk about the scoop of the century."

Supey just shook his head as if the thought was unfathomable. Unfathomable Spidey's left web-shooter, there's naive . . . and then there's this guy. Chalk it up to supers.

Peter noticed the door they were standing across from that told him that is was the door to the editor-in-chief's office. Like I said, he knew because the door told him so in big bold letters. But what Peter didn't know is why they were standing out in the hallway and not marching into said office.

"Soooo, are we going in?" The spider-themed hero eventually asked.

"Not yet, he's busy with someone else right now. It won't be long."

Peter, satisfied with the answer, began biding his time by leaning against the wall and whistling the Batman theme song. Who could blame him . . . the thing's damn catchy. Clark tried to hide his smile at the teen's odd choice of elevator music by starting a conversation.

"You know that I only agreed to do this interview to support the Justice League, right?"

Spidey gave his teammate and odd look and replied, "Please, I'm the last person you should be worried that would accuse you of being an attention hogger." He took it a step farther by raising a hand to his chest and stating in an uppity British voice, "I personally have been known to sell one or two photos of my gorgeous self to the press for a small sum. It's nothing to be ashamed of, good sir."

The previously nervous Superman sighed and broke out into a small smile. "Glad to know at least one person thinks that way."

Peter stole a glance at the alien capable of downing a city with one swing of his fist and exclaimed, "Oh, don't tell me some of the Leaguers are making fun of you!"

Clark shrugged, but he didn't deny it.

Spidey grunted. "Well, that's immature of them."

"What are they supposed to think when I tell them that I'm getting interviewed as Superman for the sake of the team by the newspaper I work for?" Clark asked with arms crossed.

"Well," Peter began, crossing his own spider-suit hidden arms. "They should look past the "I'm getting interviewed as Superman" bit, and focus on the "for the sake of the team" part. Flash and Green Arrow need to take some serious adulting pills, and coming from me, well, you know how it is."

Supey blinked and looked at the teen hero. "How did you know that it was those two?"

"Come on, who else makes fun of _the_ Superman over one little interview?"

"I see your point."

Clark Kent seemed thoroughly satisfied with the boost in moral pep talk, and so did Peter Parker.

 _At least I made one person's day._

 _ **Maybe if you go over to McDonalds and tell 'em they'll give you a sticker or something.**_

 _Shush, Other. Don't ruin the moment._

 _ **Oh, so NOW I'm the third wheel.**_

 _You've always been the third—_

Spider-man's inner conversation was brought to an end as a loud shouting burst from behind the editor-in-chief's door. The arachnid nerd felt this was the appropriate time to jump into Supey's arms Scooby do style, but he instead kept his skittish tendencies in check. The sudden ruckus was followed by some unimportant looking paper-pusher storming out the door and down the hallway. Peter is once again reminded of the joys of free-lance. Cubicles are for lab rats . . . not people.

"Clark! Get in here!"

The Super motions for Peter to follow, and follow to his doom he shall. Spidey cautiously enters the office, using the considerably taller man as a human shield against any insults or airborne paper weights.

"This better not be a waste of my time," Barked the so called "chief" in his comfy leather chair. If you can imagine J. Jonah Jameson but without the mustachio and the bad haircut, give or take a few pounds, then that would be the man Peter saw before him.

What he did next was basically spin on his heels and walk out the door. If Superman with his super-strength hadn't grabbed Spidey by the collar of his tweed jacket, the poor boy would have been halfway to Smallville before the alternate-dimensional Jameson had a chance to stick a cigar in his mouth. Peter was starting to regret wishing for his old job back.

As Clark pulled the boy back into the office, the unhappy look of all unhappy looks sat firmly on the editor's face. "What was that?" He gestured to Peter's escape act in utter surprise.

"Don't mind him," The kryptonian defended. "He's just a little nervous." To get the message across, Superman tightened his grip on the teen's collar.

Peter nodded rapidly and piped up, "Right, nice to meet you Mr. White. I'm Peter Parker." The two strangers shook hands, and the wall-crawler thanked the multiverse for Wikipedia. "I've heard a lot of good things about you."

Mr. White huffed proudly and sat back in his chair. "I'd hope so, otherwise none of my reporters are doing their jobs right." The gruff man lean his elbows on the desk and bridged his fingers. "So, Kent here tells me that you're freelance. I generally don't trust people who aren't devoted to their work, especially not kids, but this time is the exception." Mr. White nodded to the four-eyed Superman and stated, "I do trust this guy here enough to give you a chance, though." The editor-in-chief's tone became even more serious as he looked Peter square in the eye. "But be warned, this interview is a very important one, so I expect you not to let me down. Got that?"

All Spider-man felt safe responding with was a quick, "Yes sir." If a lecture from Superman's boss doesn't scare you straight, then Batman comes as a close second.

White nods content, and leans back in his chair. "Good. You'll be working with one of our top reporters, Kent will introduce you two."

Seeing as the conversation was wrapped up both heroes in disguise were to exit the room without another word. But Spider-man's mouth had other plans.

 _ **Don't say it, don't say it…**_

"So, am I getting payed?"

Clark Kent stopped halfway out the door to drop his head, leaving one very vulnerable spider to deal with the consequences of his curiosity. Peter could feel the room temperature drop dramatically as the chief tilted his head in annoyance, then replied coolly and slowly, "You get payed . . . when you finish the job, Parker."

Peter swallowed his fear of J.J. look-alikes and responded by skipping out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Only after the telltale click of the lock, did editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet Perry White chuckle to himself, "Kids, they're so easy."

* * *

 _ **And, BOOM!**_

 **(And NOTHING! Literally . . . NOTHING!)**

 _ **Hey, hey, I'm cutting it into two chapters since I realized one would be way too long.**_

 **[I have to admit, nothing** _ **did**_ **go on throughout this chapter]**

 _ **Oh, back me up White! At least I actually WROTE another chapter!**_

 **[That's no excuse]**

 **(Forget it, Spiderpool's the king of excuses, you dig?)**

 **[I dig his grave is what I dig]**

 _ **No, no. No grave digging.**_

 **(Too late! Already picked a spot right next to your dog!)**

… **.**

 **(Too soon?)**

 **[Yeah, let's change the subject]**

 _ **Okay, I was just wondering whether my writing style is different.**_

 **[Why do you ask?]**

 _ **Well, since I'm writing this book and everything…**_

 **(Ay! Again with the book!)**

 _ **Just hear me out, yo! So I was just reading over my old fanfic stuff, and wondering if my writing's gotten better or worse.**_

 **(I'm vouching for worse!)**

 **[Same]**

 _ **Really White? You too?**_

 **[How do I put this . . . you don't have that same nerdy flare as before]**

 _ **Seriously?**_

 **(Yeah! I totally see it now! OH NO! YOU'RE NOT DITCHING US FOR THE ADULTING WORLD ARE YOU?!)**

 _ **Both of you relax! I know tons of adults who make a living out of nerdism. Take Stan Lee for example…**_

 **[Don't go there, Stan makes it look cool]**

 **(Yeah, you just make binging the first season of Gotham on Netflix over a tub of rocky road ice-cream sound creepy)**

 **[And demented]**

 _ **Don't judge peeps, I throw my shticks, you throw yours.**_

 **[Is it just me or is this Deadpool voices wrap-up going on longer than expected?]**

 _ **Oh no, my friends, this is on purpose.**_

 **(Why?)**

 _ **Because I missed you guys and I honestly enjoy writing you two as much as the actual story. Plus, I'm throwing all my boundaries out the window along with my diary.**_

 **[You don't have a diary]**

 _ **It's my figurative diary.**_

 **(Can I have a figurative tub of ice-cream?)**

 _ **Sure, knock yourself out kid.**_

 **(Yay!)**

 **[So now that we have established that you are no longer conforming to the laws of fanfiction . . . what do you want to talk about?]**

 ***ice-cream in mouth* (If you say "my book" I with murder you with this ice-cream scooper)**

 _ **Don't worry, I'm keeping it hush hush cause of copyright reasons.**_

 **[Oooo, legality.]**

 _ **Don't get any ideas, White.**_

 **[Too late]**

 _ **So, what I REALLY want to talk about is Superman.**_

 **(And that you know absolutely nothing about him or his like)**

 _ **Exactamondo!**_

 **[I can just see the angry reviews now]**

 _ **Let's face it, I'm really not a Superman person.**_

 **[Even though you decided to write not one, but TWO chapters with him as the guest star]**

 _ **I feel reckless this week.**_

 **(No wonder you decided to binge with your mom's ice-cream)**

 _ **Shh! She might hear you!**_

 **[Yes, quiet in case the woman sleeping an entire two floors up might just happen to hear your incessant typing]**

 _ **Oh, right.**_

 **(Ug! This is taking up two whole pages! I'm sleepy!)**

 _ **Alright, I'll wrap this thing up.**_

 **[Thank Thor!]**

 **(I think you mean Odin's beard)**

 **[What's so special about—]**

 **ANYWAYS! Superman. I don't know much about him. Wikipedia continues to save the lives of millions. Politics suck. My dog died, but I'm coping with ice-cream. Sorry for the update wait. I suck more than politics. Jimmy Olsen! That's all I remember from the** _ **Brainiac Attack**_ **movie when I was six. Must be something about photographers.**

 **(Are you done?)**

 _ **No. Shut up. I am actually writing a book. Yay for me. Boo for fanfiction career. Kudos to you if it goes well (the writing, not the fanfiction). Again. Superman. NOT MY TACOS. But I'm more than happy to write a two chaptered splurge on what I do know. Which is basically that Superman gets attacked by robots all the time.**_

 **[Can we—]**

 _ **NO! SPIDERPOOL'S TALKING!**_

 ***whimper***

 _ **Okay. With that said . . . I love you reviewers. You know that. I know that. So let's save all of us the wait of an update by being super supportive, cool?**_

 ***whisper* (Don't do it! He's gone insane!)**

 _ **Yellow . . . do we need to have a talk?**_

 **(N-no, sir Spiderpool sir)**

 _ **Great! See you guys later!**_

 **[Help us!](Please!)**


	16. Shiny Supervillians

**Disclaimer: I do not now, or ever will, own Marvel or Detective Comics.**

 **Another Disclaimer: No blondies were meant to be offended in the writing of this chapter.**

 **(Hey look! You're not waiting a stupidly long time to update!)**

 **[Surprising]**

 _ **Like I said, I cut the Supey story into two chapters to make it last longer.**_

 **[Your novel must be going pretty slow for you to be focusing on fanfiction]**

 **(Please tell me you're dropping the book! PLEASE!)**

 _ **No way! I read somewhere that it took J. K. Rowling like six years to finish Harry Potter.**_

 **[Have you even read Harry Potter?]**

 _ **Well, no.**_

 **(WHAT?! WHO HASN'T READ HARRY FREAKING POTTER?)**

 **[I'm shunning you now]**

 _ **Hey, not everyone is into that wizard stuff.**_

 **(Yeah, but you're a nerd!)**

 _ **So?**_

 **(Nerds read EVERYTHING, even if it's not superheroes!)**

 _ **I watched the movies if that counts.**_

 **[No. Just no.]**

 **(How do we even know you?)**

 _ **Sorry! I'll read the books if that makes you feel better!**_

 **[It's too late for that Spiderpool. You never watch the first movie before reading the entire series]**

 **(Yeah, everyone knows that)**

 _ **Well excuse my permanent laziness, but I still don't see why I can't watch THEN read.**_

 **[It's your loss]**

 **(I'm telling on you!)**

 _ **To who?**_

 **[Deadpool]**

 _ **No! He'll tie to me to the TNT chair again!**_

 ***phone dialing* (Hey Pool! Spidey geek over here never read the Harry Potter series!)**

 _ **Yellow . . . don't!**_

 **(And get this! He had the guts to watch the movies anyways!)**

 ***silence***

 **[What did he say?]**

 **(He's coming over right now with the TNT chair)**

 _ **NOOOOOO!**_

* * *

Chapter 16: Shiny Supervillains

Peter Parker stood outside the office of one Perry White, having just met the man a super powered kryptonian calls boss. You'd think he'd be thwipping for the skyscrapers after the chilling experience, but the teen hero doesn't take the meeting as expected.

"Can we trade bosses?" Spider-man in the casual begged Supey as they began to walk down the hallway.

Clark looked at him surprised, then said, "Really? I thought you'd be scared off."

"Are you kidding?" Peter exclaimed, pulling his camera from his backpack and hanging it around his neck. "At least with this guy I actually _know_ I'm getting payed!"

Superman shook his head in disbelief and smiled. "Wow. Your old employer must have been pretty tough on you."

"Yeah, I got fired about three times a week."

The newspaper reporter stopped and looked at the web-slinger with wide eyes. "You're joking."

Peter shook his head, and was prepared to explain how his former boss has anger issues, but the sight of a gorgeous woman walking towards them made him bite his tongue. Let's face it, Spidey isn't the smoothest when it comes to chatting with the opposite gender, especially when they look like _that_ , but he somehow managed to keep himself from spouting a cheesy pickup line. For the sake of all Aunt Mays everywhere.

"This," Clark Kent gestured to the lady who had stopped in front of them, "is Miss Lois Lane. She's the reporter you'll be working with for the interview."

The freelance photographer Cheshire grinned and held out his hand. "Hey there, pretty lady. My name's Peter Parker, it'll be a pleasure working with you."

Superman facepalmed.

Lois Lane tried to contain her smirk as she raised an eyebrow at Superman. "I see you found another Jimmy," she said as she took Peter's outstretched hand.

Clark smiled back warmly. "There can only be one Jimmy. But Peter here makes for a pretty good substitute."

Spider-man looked back and forth between the two interlocking gazes, a slight suspicion beginning to form in his occupied mind.

 _ **Supey and Lois sit'n in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.**_

 _Aww, that's so sweet._

 _ **You're starting to sound like Aunt May.**_

 _That's not exactly a bad thing, Other._

 _ **Fine, but if they start making out, I'm scramming.**_

 _The Other side of me is so immature._

 _ **Says the guy who just tried to hit on Superman's girlfriend.**_

 _I was being friendly._

 _ **Sure…**_

Peter felt Supey nudge him with his elbow as Miss Lane repeated what she said for the third time. "Are you ready to get started?"

Spider-man blinked, then shook himself back to the present issue. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just spaced out."

Lois smiled and teased, "Well, make sure to get in a few shots during the interview. Perry doesn't take excuses all too well." The woman turned to Clark and prodded suggestively, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

This time, Superman blanked out, and had to be rescued by Peter's nodding to the exit.

"Right," The alien caught himself and headed for the stairs. "I'll meet up with you later."

Peter mouth twitched upwards as Clark Kent's blue tie disappeared down the hallway.

 _It looks like Supey has other reasons to be distracted._

 _ **One very gorgeous reason?**_

 _You read our mind._

The young hero followed his temporary partner as she led him in the direction of the _other_ stairs. These were considerably different than the one's Peter used before. Why you ask? Well, that's because these particular set of stairs led to the roof the Daily Planet. Where else did you expect them to interview a super-human that could fly? The human spider's heartbeat skipped along happily as the two stepped out onto the roof. Peter craned his neck to look up at the giant globe balanced precariously above their heads. He could almost imagine an epic battle between King Kong and Superman take place on this very rooftop. But Spidey honestly hoped the giant gorilla took a rain check on hurling large objects from skyscrapers that day.

The reporter and her sidekick stood patiently as seconds ticked by. Peter searched the skies for any sign of the red and blue telltale blur of their guest star.

 _Come on, Supey. How long does it take to change getups?_

 _ **Well, knowing spandex, it takes a lot longer than one would think.**_

 _Yeah, it does get a little clingy sometimes._

 _ **TMI, bro. TMI.**_

Miss Lane sighed and checked her watch for the fifth time. Peter looked at his own just in time to see it change from 2:59 PM, to three o'clock. And right on the dot, a whoosh of wind whipped by, and the fluttering red cape of the one and only Superman appeared. Spider-man snapped a few pics of him hovering in midair, until the hero landed on solid ground in front of them.

Peter shook his head in mock annoyance.

 _Show off._

The newest member of the Justice League tried his best to hide his smile as the kryptonian and the reporter shook hands and exchanged formalities. It was weird to be on the civilian side of things for once, half of him felt like he should be geeking out, and the other half of him wished he was being intervied too. And by the other half, I actually mean Other.

 _ **Us next.**_

 _Nope, this is Supey's time to shine._

 _ **But the only publicity we ever get either starts with "menace" or "freak".**_

 _Well, if anyone ever asks us to do a talk show, I won't turn them down._

The questions Lois Lane asked Superman were pretty basic reporter stuff. Who founded the League? What areas of the world do they cover? Do they work with or for the government? Where do they get the money to support their work? And so on. Spidey found it impressive that Superman had a solid answer for every question that was thrown at him, and he talked about the Justice League like it really meant something to him. The answers were rehearsed, but also honest.

Peter made sure to live up to his word and circled the two as they talked, taking photos all the while. He was having a pretty good time, taking Mr. White's threat into consideration, and although Miss Lane was being tough with her interrogation, there was no tension between the two. At least, not until she started on a very touchy subject.

"So, Superman," She said, almost ready to wrap up the interview. "Are you thinking about bringing a few more members to the team?"

Both Peter and Clark froze, then exchanged questioning looks. Supey was asking whether he should tell, and Spidey was asking for a few seconds to think about it.

 _ **Why not?**_

 _There are multiple reasons why not._

 _ **Being…**_

 _I don't want anyone besides the Justice League knowing that I'm from another dimension._

 _ **Right. Government goons and we spiders don't mix.**_

 _But…_

 _ **But having outside support could be a bonus.**_

 _You're talking about talk shows._

 _ **Exactly! And who doesn't need those!**_

 _Me. I don't need publicity, Other. And I frankly don't want it._

With his friendly neighborhood mind made up, Peter looked at Superman and signaled "no" behind Lois Lane's back. The alien's eyes showed understanding, and he answered the reporter, "The Justice League isn't planning to add any new members just yet. But you'll be the first to know if we do."

Spider-man felt relieved with that little chip off his shoulder, but that split-second of peace came crashing to and end with the arrival of King Kong.

Just kidding. But there _was_ an explosion.

The arachnid boy suctioned himself to the rooftop as the building shook beneath his feet. Lois Lane grabbed one of the support beams holding up the giant planet, and Superman took to the air to see what was going on. Peter was torn between ripping off his casual disguise and jumping into the fray, and getting the woman to safety.

Lois Lane. Obviously.

Spidey approached the reporter, who was holding up quite well under the circumstances, and yelled over the sound of crumbling building, "Hey! Shouldn't we get _off_ the exploding roof?"

The dark-haired lady looked at him stubbornly and yelled back, "No way! This is front page material!" Lois gestured to Superman in the distance, who was grappling with something small and shiny. "And shouldn't you be helping him?"

Spidey stopped mid-comeback, to frown at the newswoman. She was smiling.

"Wait! You know that I'm…"

She nodded.

"And that he's…"

She nodded again.

Spider-man growled under his breath as another BOOM shook the city. "I can't believe that guy!"

"Don't be angry," Miss Lane shrugged. "He tells me everything."

 _ **You should take dating advice from him.**_

 _Not now, Other. I'm saving Metropolis._

Still not in the least bit comfortable with a complete stranger knowing his secret identity, Peter hid from the sight of any security cameras to change into his villain busting attire. After webbing the clothes bundle to the giant metal planet, the wall-crawler leaped off the building and prepared to fire his web-shooters.

Except he had forgotten his refills at home, so he plummeted instead.

To make matters worse, the hero came face to face with the screeching mandibles of a shiny metallic cicada-looking robot, about the size of a microwave. I say microwave because I don't know of anything else as terrifying. Spidey, still falling through the air, had no other choice but to cling the large flying insect to stop his decent, all the while avoiding the treacherous pinchers. As you can imagine, it was not a pleasant experience.

Spider-man managed to jump off the screeching robot before it collided with the sidewalk, then barrel-rolled on the pavement. The hero shook his disoriented head, and took a closer look at the mechanical bug paste he could have very well been. Its glowing green eyes flickered to extinction, and a clear green liquid began to drip out of the crushed circuits.

 _Coming from someone who's eaten New York chili dogs . . . that's plain nasty._

The dreadful screech was heard, and Spidey slowly turned around to find an entire three city blocks buzzing with miniature robo-bugs of terror. Shiny cicadas clung to ever building, laying pulsing green eggs wherever they went. And what did those little gifts do? They exploded of course!

"Hey!" Spider-man called up to Superman, who was trying to take out as many of the egg-laying gremlins as possible. "What's going on?"

The kryptonian barely had time to stop and yell back, "I don't know! Just get all these people to safety!"

The web warrior blinked and noticed the panicking crowd screaming in the street.

 _Right, civilians. I knew that._

Accepting the fact that he couldn't use his web-shooters, Spidey started herding the mass of Metropolians away from the crumbling buildings. That being said, it was as easy as directing a herd of bulls with a bright red sweater.

"Toro! Toro!" Spidey exclaimed as he began moving the crowd into unexploding areas. His already head aching spider-sense suddenly took it's buzzing to the next level, causing Peter to search frantically for the source of danger. Deciding to look up, the teen wished he hadn't eaten those mystery meatballs earlier. A gigantic swarm of shiny killer robots descended from above like a cloud, their buzz saw fangs whirling.

Yup, goodbye Spider-man.

 _ **Let me take over.**_

Peter pausing in his freaking out to think about what Other said.

 _You can do that? How?_

 _ **Can I explain later AFTER saving your butt?**_

The vigilante stole a glance at Superman a block down, who had his hands full dealing with green-eyed flying robots. Spidey didn't know what Other was going to do, but since he was at a major disadvantage because of his missing webs, there wasn't much of a choice. The other option was death. Nobody likes death.

 _Alright. Do what you have to do._

Almost immediately, Peter felt something warm wash through his veins. It was weird, like out of body experience weird. His own vision turned green, and all the ensuing chaos around him began to slow even more that his spider-sense lets him see. The hero could hear his heart beat grow faster against time's wishes, and before he realized what was happening, twenty some robot bugs lay at his feet in pieces.

 _Cool! Did I do that?_

 _ **Um, no. That would be mwah.**_

Peter once again felt the surge of his heart beat, and this time he was able to watch as his own fists tore apart the shiny cicadas all on their own. The strangest this about it was that he didn't feel even a little bit tired. He had a front row seat to Other's quick extinction of an entire bug race, and it gave him a little time to think.

 _Hey, Other. Let me have my body back for a sec._

 _ **Aww! But I'm whooping tale here!**_

 _Yeah, but your tale whooping isn't doing much. They just keep coming back._

 _ **And you can fix that how?**_

 _Give me my hands back and I'll show you._

Other grumbled for a few seconds, and tore apart at least ten more metallic killers before handing over the reins to Spidey. The moment Peter felt his limbs again, his head began to pound like a steel drum.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Somebody turn down the base!"

The wall-crawler stumbled for a few seconds before steadying himself. He looked to the skies and saw even more robo-bugs approaching.

 _They just won't give up!_

 _ **Plan. Now.**_

Peter listened to Other's command and pulled up the top half of his spider-suit to reveal a utility belt. But something seemed a bit different about it.

 _ **Hold on . . . isn't that Batman's?**_

 _Yeah, I just found it the other day._

 _ **Found It? Found it WHERE?**_

 _Well, I was scrolling through the list of locations the zeta portal goes to, cause I was bored, and there was this one that said "Batcave" and...  
_

 _ **You didn't!**_

 _Hey. It was just sitting there. Besides, you should see all the toys that guy has! Wait, where were you when I was borrowing Bat's stuff?_

 _ **Um . . . you know, here and there. Nothing too important.**_

During the conversation, Spidey had used one of the devices from Batman's utility belt and rigged it up to one of the less demolished robots. He was planning on tracking the source of the infestation and taking out whatever controlled the critters from there. He was sure Bats would understand his temporary stealing of the technology used to accomplish that. If not, Supey would back him up with his laser eyes.

 _Alright, I've got a signal._

He checked on Superman, hoping he could handle the swarm until Spider-man had a chance to track down the bug transmitter.

 _Who am I kidding! He's Superman!_

Pushing away the guilt of abandoning his teammate, Spidey sprinted rather than swung in the direction of the blinking light on the radar, assuming that you can always trust blinking lights. The streets were pretty much deserted after the civilians got their acts together and decided to run _away_ from the exploding eggs. Thankfully, Spider-man's destination wasn't too far away, the soles of his spidey-boots were beginning to wear thin after all that running.

He came to a halt at one very tall and very _shiny_ building. At the tippy top sat the big in-your-face letters of LexCorp. Oh joy, another billionaire who likes naming tall shiny skyscrapers after himself.

Spidey looked at the tracking device and back at the big ugly building in Metropolis.

 _Looks like this is it._

 _ **Maybe we should just go back to destroying malaria. I do not want to know what kind of maniac builds a building like that and names it after himself.**_

 _Malaria is for mosquitoes, and no, we're not going back._

 _ **I still got a really bad feeling.**_

Peter felt the same as he leaped onto the reflective surface of the tower and began climbing up spider-style. Strangely enough, his spider-sense was being uncommonly silent even though he was at the supervillain's lair.

 _Maybe Other was right._

The arachnid teen stopped his wall-crawling at the very top floor. He was beginning to wonder how he was supposed to get inside the building, when one of the reflective panels beside him slid open.

 _Okay, this is obviously a trap._

Spider-man's thoughts were interrupted as a larger than normal explosion echoed through the city. He couldn't let Superman down, not after coming this far. Ignoring the low buzz of his spider-sense, the hero flipped through the hatch and into what looked like dimly lit office.

A very shiny office at that.

Peter cautiously skirted around the empty desk, and something glowing in a cylinder container caught his eye. It looked like a rock or some sort of crystal, but it glowed a hazy green. The curious teen went to touch to case, but his spider-sense warned him off.

 _What is it?_

"That would be Kryptonite."

Spidey whirled around to be faced with the very supervillain he had pegged as responsible for the cicada attack. He wore a dark suit with a green tie . . . and he was bald. Peter mused that his shiny head matched everything else in the tower.

"Let me guess," Spidey began as his eyes followed the approaching man. "You're Lex Luthor."

The evil genius sat relaxed into his chair, leaning his elbows on his shiny desk so his shiny head reflected on the shiny surface. It was only a little comical, but mostly annoying.

"So you've heard of me?"

Spider-man thumbed to the window he had just climbed through. "Yeah, but that sign out there helped."

The supervillain smiled, but it wasn't a warm smile like Superman's or Miss Lane's, this one reminded Peter of a snake.

"Yes, well that aside, you must be wondering why I called you here."

Spidey raised an eyebrow under his mask and scoffed, "Yeah, um, I crawled in here of my own free will, thank you."

Luthor stared at him with a cold gaze and replied, "No, no you didn't, Mister Parker."

Peter's ribcage tightened as he shot back, "What did you call me?"

The man shook his bald head and clicked his tongue. "Don't feel so threatened, Peter. I mean you no harm."

The spider-themed hero stalked up to the desk and leaned over so Lex Luthor could stare into his bug-like lenses. "I'm not the one who should feel threatened here."

Lex clasped his hands and replied smoothly, "You're acting pretty bold for someone who has everything to lose."

Peter shook his head and muttered darkly, "Nuh uh, I've got nothing to lose."

Luthor's eyes flickered with fear for a split-second, then went back to being cold and calculating. "Alright then, how about I make you an offer."

The web-slinger leaned away from the man and crossed his arms. "What could you possibly have that I want, baldy?"

"Well, as you said, you have nothing to lose."

Peter hated himself for not immediately saying no.

"What's your deal?" He replied instead.

Lex Luthor displayed that ugly smile again, and stood from his chair. "I've been monitoring you ever since you first appeared in Gotham." He stopped Spider-man from asking why he knew by raising a hand. "I like to keep an eye on all the upcoming superhero types if it's all the same to you. Anyways, you seem to be very close to the Justice League, and all I ask is one very simple task." The billionaire stopped pacing to stop in front of Spidey. "Keep the League out of my business for forty-five hours."

Peter thought about his words for a moment. Forty-five hours didn't seem like a very like time. What could possibly go wrong?

 _Who am I kidding? There's no way I'm accepting this nut-case's offer._

The vigilante was about to voice his answer, but the supervillain cut him off.

"In return, I will give you a large sum of money, enough to last you far beyond your lifetime. Plus, a house at any location on the planet. You won't have to worry about anyone bothering you every again."

The web warrior sighed and hung his head in defeat. "You got me! I'm a sucker for vacation homes in Hawaii." Peter then dropped the act and snapped his gaze back up at Luthor. "NOT! I got this cozy little crib back in New York waiting for me after I kick your butt, so thanks, but no thanks."

Spidey sidestepped towards the case containing the Kryptonite. "But can I keep the shiny rock as a souvenir to remember you by?"

Lex Luthor shook his head in disappointment and called over the hero's shoulder. "Mercy! I believe our guest needs to be shown the door!"

Spider-man turned around to check out this Mercy character, and was shocked to find blondie standing there.

 _Okay, this is low, even for supervillains._

Peter's mind was quickly changed as the thought to be human's arms mechanically opened to reveal two very dangerous looking machine guns. You can only guess what those bad boys do.

 _ **Oh my gosh! It has machine guns in its freaking arms!**_

 _I can see that! I can also feel it!_

The human spider relied on his sixth sense to dodge the array of bullets, but he figured that if he had his web-shooters, anti-hero chick 2.0 would have been disabled by now. Peter chanced a look back at where his target should have been, but Lex Luthor and his shiny head had disappeared. Along with the Kryptonite.

 _Figures. Leave me with your killer bodyguard._

Spidey dove behind the slightly less shiny desk to avoid getting peppered with blondie inflicted holes. He removed a glove and touched the top of the desk, and as he had hoped, it displayed a hologram. Bullets continued to wiz by, and Spider-man decided to use one of Lex's shiny paperweights as a projectile. The object flew through the air and landed with a clang against the robot's head, created a huge dent in Mercy's pretty face.

Peter used this bought time to hack into the system and start looking for the off switch for killer cicadas. The teen was attacked by the arm machine guns once again, so he panicked and press a random button on the robot control panel.

Nothing happened.

Peter sighed and bonked his head against the shiny desk. All hope seemed to be lost, but the faint sound of screeching outside joined the flying bullets. Almost too scared to look behind him, Spidey peeked out from behind the chair. Apparently he had pushed the "return to home" button.

Spider-man covered his head as glass from the window shattered and hundreds of hungry robo-bugs charged into the office. The only good note to this mess was that Mercy no longer was a threat. Even so, death by cicada didn't sound so chipper to Pete.

All seemed lost . . . again, until the red and blue hero of Metropolis arrived on the scene. Oh yeah, and Batman showed up too. Spidey honestly had no idea why. But he didn't care.

The sleek black jet known as the Bat-wing shot multiple blasts at the entourage of flying robots, while Superman vaporized his share with heat-vision.

Spidey really wished he had heat-vision and a cool jet.

The dark voice of Batman barked from some sort of outer speaker, "Don't just stand there! Turn the damn things off already!"

Peter snapped out of his geekasm and quickly turned back to the holo-desk. Enough of it was still intact to figure out the robot controls, and the teen pushed what he hoped was the off button. He let out a sigh of relief as the metallic insects dropped dead to the floor. Spider-man wanted to collapse in the bullet holed chair, but instead he walked up to Superman.

"Hey," He greeted the alien out of breath. "Old chrome dome has some sort of evil plan going on here. So you might want to check the building for any giant Kryptonite laser cannons of destruction."

Superman nodded, then placed a hand on Spidey's shoulder. The teen almost fell over.

"You did good work, Spidey. Why don't you rest up, Batman and I can handle things from here."

Peter shook his dizzy head and mumbled, "Nah, I think I can hold out long enough to see things through. I never did get that trip to Hawaii though."

Supey smiled and seemed comfortable enough to leave to dig up any sinister and shiny contraptions built by one Lex Luthor. Peter let out a long sigh, and turned to find Batman hopping out of the Bat-wing's cockpit. He approached the jet's pilot and questioned, "Hey, Bats. What are you doing in Metropolis?"

The Dark Knight eyed Spider-man's tattered appearance and said back, "I could ask the same about you."

"I'm here on business actually. Supey asked me to stand in for the photographer for his interview."

Batman's mouth twitched. "He was interviewing himself?"

Spidey crossed his arms and defended crossly, "Hey! Not you too! Why can't you guys see that he was doing it for the team?"

The bat-themed vigilante looked like he was about to make another remark, but instead his face turned sour. "Back on the subject of why I'm here…" Bruce held out his gloved mitt. "Hand it over."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The utility belt, Parker. _Now_."

Spider-man laughed nervously, then darted for the giant gap in the building. Only after making his quick escape, did he realize one tiny detail.

"Aw, man! I don't have any webs!"

* * *

 ***announcer voice* ~Hello kiddies! Deadpool here! Coming to you live from UltimateSpiderPool's basement!~**

 ***muffled call for help***

 **[Where you will find him strapped to a chair of TNT awaiting his demise in exactly five minutes]**

 **(Make it three)**

 **~Shut it, you two. I'm running the show!~**

 ***licks off duct tape*** _ **Come on guys! Don't do this to me! I'm so young and I have a promising writing career ahead of me!**_

 **~No, no, ducky. We do not shun the wizarding world of Harry Potter for the likes of cinema!~**

 **(He speaks truth, yo)**

 _ **Don't yo me! What happens to all of you guys if I blow up in a blaze of glory?**_

 **~Why should I care? It's not like I'm going to be in the story past this point anyways~**

… **.**

 _ **That actually makes sense.**_

 **[Two minutes and thirty seconds remaining]**

 _ **Okay! I'll make you a deal! If I give you a part in the plotline, will you untie me from this chair and not blow me up?**_

 **~Do I get to hug Spidey?~**

 _ **Sure. Whatever. Just untie me!**_

 **[One minute and Forty-five seconds]**

 **(I don't think he sounds sincere enough)**

 **~I was just thinking the same thing~**

 _ **I AM sincere! Completely 100% sincere! DON'T LET ME DIE!**_

 **[Twenty-three seconds]**

 _ **That timer is going WAY too fast to be legit.**_

 **~Are you complaining?~**

 _ **No! I'll even throw in homemade chimichangas!**_

 **(You can cook?)**

 _ **I can always learn.**_

 **[Eight seconds]**

 **~It's a done deal, mini-me! Someone untie the kid~**

 **(Why don't you do it?)**

 **~I'm busy typing, duh!~**

 **[Three…two…one]**

 _ **Oh, for the love of *brakes out of TNT chair* this is ridiculous!**_

 **(Hey look! No boom splat!)**

 **~Aww! That's my favorite part!~**

 _ **Deadpool. You. Are. So. Dead.**_

 **[You should run now]**

 **~Love you, ducky! See you when my part in the story comes up!~**

 ***scrams out door with fake TNT chair***

 _ **Now… what to do with you two.**_

 **(Um… mercy?)**

 _ **Mercy indeed.**_

 **There you go, the second half of the Supey story all wrapped up. And it's only 1:36 in the morning! I think this chapter is longer, I can't really tell since my vision is blurry and everything. But yeah, the only stuff I remember about Superman is the bodyguard chick with the machinegun arms, Lex Luthor being bald, and there always being kryptonite-power robots sent to attack him all the time. Oh, and that Lois Lane is always ending up falling off tall structures and getting saved by Superman. I didn't add that part 'cause I didn't want to. I also didn't specify exactly what Luthor was plotting because COME ON! I'M WAY TOO TIRED TO CARE! Sorry, I just got strapped to a TNT chair, so I'm a little moody. Anyways, tell me how you like it or hate. But remember, I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Superman… except that I once heard from a fellow geek that he could generate miniature duplicates of himself from his palms. And you wonder why I stick to Spider-man and Batman.**


	17. The Classics Catch Up

**Disclaimer: Come on, we all know how this one goes.**

 **(Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool!)**

 _ **Chanting his name isn't gonna make me put him in this chapter.**_

 **[Except you promised, and we all know how Pool deals with broken promises]**

 _ **By blowing me up in the TNT chair? Yeah, we all saw how effective that turned out.**_

 **(Pleeeeeeease, ducky!)**

 _ **Don't call me that.**_

 **(But Deadpool did!)**

 _ **Deadpool's a douche.**_

 **[Why does he call you that anyways?]**

 _ **If you must know…**_

 **[We must]**

 _ **One time we were hanging out like amigos do, talking about shit-colored stuff…**_

 **(Heh heh, Spiderpool said shit)**

 _ **Shut up, Yellow. Anyways, Pool said that ducklings were said color, and I said "Nuh uh, ducklings are all yellow and fluffy and adorable…"**_

 **[I like were this is headed]**

 _ **And then Deadpool said, "Yeah, but there's always a scruffy little shit-colored one that's all rejected and junk."**_

 **[Let me guess, that little shit is you?]**

 **(*snicker*)**

 _ **That's what Poolster said. And now I'm officially the ugly duckling.**_

 **(I like it! That's** _ **so**_ **your nickname from now on!)**

 **[You always did seem like a crappy person]**

 _ **Very funny guys. Maybe I don't like being an outcast to society.**_

 **(Tough beans. You don't get to tell society how to treat you)**

 **[Seriously, you have a very beige feeling about you]**

 _ **But my stories aren't boring!**_

 **[That's still up for debate]**

 **(You are what you write. So WRITE ducky WRITE!)**

 _ **You guys will regret this when I'm all famous and junk.**_

 **[Get a girlfriend, then people might actually take you seriously]**

 _ **What does that have to do with anything?**_

 **(I'm lost too)**

 **[Because everyone knows that the girl is the brains of the two, that way you won't be wandering mindlessly through your life]**

… **.**

 _ **I need a girlfriend.**_

 **(Thank Thor!)**

 **[Oden's beard]**

 **(Enchantress's b—)**

 _ **Nope, this is getting weird.**_

 **(You're no fun)**

 **[Look on the bright side... he said shit]**

 **(True dat)**

* * *

Chapter 17: The Classics Catch Up

Spider-man's muscles ached as he managed to crawl into his apartment window. He let himself fall to the floor with a _thud_ , ignoring the angry shouts of tenants from below. Spidey figured he deserved a little rest time after single-handedly saving Metropolis.

Okay, so maybe Superman helped a little… but Batman gets absolutely no credit.

"Need," he pants. "To refill," he pants again. "Web-shooters."

 _ **That's all on you, buddy.**_

 _Can you believe the weird looks people were giving me on the bus?_

 _ **I know, right? And who's Black Spider?**_

 _I don't know, but I have the feeling he's not a very nice guy._

Peter lays motionless on the damp floorboards, still wiped from being totally awesome. The dust covered ceiling fan rotated slowly above his head, making it almost impossible for the teen to keep his eyes open.

 _Eh, no one's around to see the Amazing Spider-man wonked out on Peter Parker's floor. I'll just take a teeny little nap._

And so he did.

Peter opened his eyes to an all too familiar dream. The one where there's a giant black seeping hole in his head, and the best mental barrier he could manage was a flimsy brick wall. That same brick wall seemed to have taken some damage while he was away though.

Spidey trotted up to the structure separating the empty dark wasteland from his central mind, and studied the giant gashes running all along it. They looked like they were made by some giant creature, and even a few of the bricks had started to crumble off.

"Okay, that's only a little disturbing," He mumbled to himself.

Himself mumbled back, " **Tell me about it**."

Peter's attention was brought to the classic version Spidey standing to his right, eyeing the wall just as intently. Other surprisingly looked a little banged up, with small tears in the suit and one lens cracked. Maybe he had actually taken damage from fighting all those robo-cicada's Lex Luthor had sicked on them.

"You alright?" New and improved Spider-man asked his original. "You look a little beat up."

Other shrugged. " **Meh, it's not as bad as it looks. Those killer insects took it easy on me since we're** _ **mildly**_ **related**."

Peter huffed and replied, "Those didn't feel like love taps to me." He turned back to the scarred wall and asked, "What happened to this place?"

Other shook his head and clicked his tongue disappointedly. " **Telepathic barriers aren't what they used to be I suppose.** "

Spidey could feel his roommate's eyes on him as he touched the marred bricks. Since it was technically his head they were in, couldn't he just think up a better wall than this one? It couldn't hurt to try. Focusing what little mental discipline he had, Peter wished _really_ really hard for a solid titanium blockade to replace the brick wall. When he opened his eyes, he was disappointingly met with a concrete barrier instead.

 _Meh, it'll have to do._

" **What did you do that for?** "

Spider-man looked to Other in surprise at his almost angry-sounding tone. "Um," Peter looked back and forth from his doppelganger to the new mind block, wondering what he did wrong. "I… fixed it? I think? I mean, I was kinda going for titanium, but this popped up."

Other pinched the bridge of his masked nose and sighed. " **Oy, just tell me when you're going to do crazy stunts like that next time**."

"Oooookay," He replied, still confused at the other's reaction. "I'll make sure to put it on the announcement board."

The wall-crawler felt a slight tug of wind at his back, and began to pick up on a slight whistling sound. He turned around to feed his curiosity, and his eyes widened when he saw that the gaping pit of absolute pitch-blackness grew three times its normal size. The edges of the whole rippled as the surrounding darkness was sucked into it, creating and almost waterfall-like appearance. This was not the kind of waterfall you feel the urge to jump off of.

"Other…" the hero began with some fear creeping into his voice. "Why is the evil sinkhole of doom getting bigger?"

Classic Spidey waved off the inching abyss as if it was a misbehaving child. A very large misbehaving child. " **Oh, don't mind Blacky. He's just upset that you changed the scenery.** "

Peter's head snapped back at Other. "Don't mind?! This is my head we're talking about!" He paused. "You gave the cavity a name?"

" **Chill, it doesn't actually have emotions or a consciences. It's a hole for Phil's sake.** " Other raised his gloved hands to indicate to the world around them. " **This place doesn't have a lot of—um—"creative juices" if you know what I mean. So in building a new wall, you just took a huge chunk out of a whole lot of nothing… pun very much intended.** "

Peter gazed at the black pit, and his roommate sensed his concern. " **Don't worry,** " he reassured. " **It'll go back to its depressing little self in a little bit.** "

"Was that pun on purpose too?"

" **When are they not?** "

The teen gave up on wishing the abyss out of existence and sat down with his back against the concrete. Other joined him.

"I wonder if we lost Batman," the human spider spoke up out of nowhere. "I'm pretty sure he ditched after we got to the outskirts of New York."

The original Spidey shook his head. " **I don't know. He seemed pretty set on getting his shiny bat belt back.** "

"He has plenty more to spare, though. Why can't I just keep this one?"

" **Because, if you haven't noticed, he doesn't like you. Plus, he likes you even less when you take his stuff.** "

"I didn't steal it."

" **Are you planning to give it back?** "

"My pride won't let me."

" **Then you officially stole it.** "

Peter let out a long sigh and rested his head against the cold surface of the wall. Being a good guy was so hard sometimes.

"I'm not going to be able to face Bats without him tackling me for it… so I'll just have to spider up and give the utility belt back." The web-slinger slumped in his seat. "And it had such cool toys too!"

" **There, there.** " Other comforted Spidey by patting him on the shoulder. " **We'll build better trinkets than that jerk. Trinkets whose names don't all begin with** _ **bat**_ **.** "

Peter giggled—not chuckled, not snorted, but _giggled_ —for a good five seconds, then turned to Other with a different subject. "Hey, you never told me you took control of my body back in Metropolis."

The banged up Spidey drummed his fingers on his leg and replied, "Well… it's sorta complicated, you see. I can possible sometimes maybe kinda have a _wee_ bit of control."

Peter blinked behind his bug lenses. "I'm not following."

Other sighed and said reluctantly, "Alright, it goes a little something like—"

 **~~~SPIDER-SENSE~~~**

The previously sleeping arachnid jerked up from his laying position on his apartment floor. The back of his suit was all soggy from being too lazy to move to the couch. Peter whipped his head around in search of whatever serious danger had caused his sixth sense to go off so violently. The room looked normal enough, the window stayed closed and the fan still rotated slowly.

 _Wait…_

The hero flipped onto the ceiling with his stick-um powers and studied the wooden blades more closely. There was the distinguishable smear of a handprint in the disturbed layer of dust. As he leaped down to the floor, Spidey felt a very noticeable weight missing from around his waist. With a growing suspicion, he lifted the top half of his suit.

There was no more bat belt.

 _No way!_

Peter darted over to the small window and flung it open, just in time to hear the far-off _vroom_ of a highly powerful engine fade into the distance. He suspected said bat engine belonged to a certain batmobile which was driven by a batty man in a bat suit.

"Bats!"

He meant to say rats, but the other seemed more appropriate.

With his head still out the window, Spider-man heard nothing but the buzz of street lamps and the creaking of the foundation. Everything was so still and quiet, which only made the hero's urge to laugh even more powerful. He was, in fact, laughing. With no one left to listen but the moon and the bugs Batman had planted.

"This works out great!" Peter chuckled a few more times before stopping. "And who said I had the worst of luck!"

 _ **No one said it. It's just a known fact that life never goes your way.**_

"Well, this time life choked," Spidey countered. "And my pride goes unscathed."

Peter retreated into his apartment and closed the window, all the while oblivious to pointy bat ears hearing his every word.

* * *

 _ **I'm done.**_

 **[Good, because we need to show you something]**

 _ **Don't tell me it's another restricting order. I do not need another Alfred incident.**_

 **(Nope! This is better! We made you an online dating profile!)**

 _ **YOU DID WHAT?!**_

 **[Now, now. Don't sound so object to it]**

 _ **OH, I OBJECT! I FREAKING OBJECT!**_

 **(I told you he'd react this way. He has the mindset of a five-year-old)**

 **[Can you at least look at it?]**

 _ **Will I be scarred for life?**_

 **[Probably]**

 _ **Hand it over.**_

 ***laptop clicking***

 _ **What the heck is all this?**_

 **(You?)**

 _ **Um, no. It says here that my name is Miguel O'Hare, and I have a narwhal.**_

 **(Don't forget the six-pack!)**

 **[And the mini-gun with flaming bullets]**

 **(And the twenty shark kitties!)**

 **[And decent looking]**

 _ **It just sounds like your just listing all the stuff I don't have… except the shark kitties.**_

 **(YOU HAVE SHARK KITTIES?!)**

 _ **Yeah, they're in that closet with the sign that says, "DO NOT ENTER. BOTTOMLESS PIT."**_

 **(Yay!)**

 ***grabs Yellow before he jumps in***

 **[Don't do it, he's getting revenge]**

 **(So, no shark kitties?)**

 **[No shark kitties]**

 _ **Who names themselves Miguel O'Hare anyways?**_

 **[Don't you read comics?]**

 **(No one would believe that you're real name is UltimateSpiderPool)**

 _ **Well, officially, my name is Spider Ultimate Pool. Ultimate is my middle name.**_

 **[Literally]**

 **(What kind of messed up parent names their kid that?)**

 _ **The nerdy kind.**_

 **[That's cruel]**

 _ **I'm still not using this dating profile. Heck, I'm not using ANY dating profiles. And why does this one say that I'm bi?**_

 **[We weren't sure]**

 **(You never know)**

 _ **I'm strait. And I'm going to strait up kill both of you.**_

 **(Fine! Be a hermit all your life!)**

 **[We are honestly trying to look out for you, but if by any chance your date has a sister…]**

 _ **That's it! Time for the bottomless pit!**_

 **(Ha! Rhyme!)**

 **[Now is not the time]**

 **(Rhyme again!)**

 _ **I will throw you, just say when.**_

 **(We are on a roll!)**

 ***whips out fiery bullet mini-gun***

 **(Hey! That doesn't rhyme!)**

 **[Run, Yellow, run!]**

 **Heyo! I updated fast, good for me. Yes, it is a shorter chapter than I'm used to, but I couldn't fit any more in to make it longer. May I just say that I love writing the little Deadpool voices. This story would be way more boring without them. Anyways, I'm trying to intertwine the main plotline along with Spidey's discovery of the new world. But I will have to say goodbye for a week (maybe two) as I go off to summer camp. Paintball wars. Agility courses. Rock-climbing walls. Cabin pranks. All the good stuff. I am still writing a book, and I'm still writing fanfiction. I like one more than the other… but I won't tell which. In reality, I do have the mind-set of a five-year-old (whether that's good or bad is up to you) so don't expect a whole ton of romance. I'm not totally against touching moments (as long as they're interrupted by action or something funny) so don't give up hope fluff-lovers! Let us all hope I don't get writers block by the time I get back from camp. Adios!**


	18. Fear Me, I Am Batman

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is this crappy laptop with tons of viruses.**

 _ **Get ready guys I'm about to start the rant about how this is just a FANFICTION written by a FAN.**_

 **[Oh no, Spiderpool's been taking reviews seriously again]**

 **(Run!)**

 ***grabs both by the neck***

 _ **Nope! You two are staying for this!**_

 **[This legally qualifies as abuse]**

 _ **And you legally qualify as crazy. The police aren't too fond of that kind of legal.**_

 **(I was actually planning to tell on you to Alfred, but the cops work too)**

 **[Since when did you become acquaintances?]**

 **(Over a cup of tea and crumpets)**

 _ **This is me mentally blocking you both out now. So I'm just going to say (again) that this is all the work of a devoted Marvel fan who's read a few Batman comics and watched all of his shows and all the Justice League junk too. I'm sure I could mention Batman Beyond, but that's for another timeline.**_

 **(We're not gonna name any names… but a certain reviewer *cough*maxe03*cough* has brought to Spiderpool's attention that he's not doing the best in his nerd power to live up to his reputation as a comic freak)**

 **[How eloquently put]**

 **(Just say'n)**

 _ **Fine. Maybe I'm not the nerd I once were—**_

 **[Was]**

 _ **Shut up—and I probably don't read as many Spider-man comics as I used to—**_

 **(Because you already read them all)**

 _ **You might be acquainted with Alfred… but I'm friends with Red Hood.**_

…

 _ **As I was saying, you can't expect a human such as I to know absolutely everything about Spider-man. Plus, I'm one of those writers who can make the story super funny without it making it sound stupid. Heck, give me some credit for actually writing a friggin fanfiction in the first place.**_

 **[You're only writing one because you want there to be more Justice League/Spider-man crossovers]**

 _ **It's my duty to the nerd society to fill the gaps I wish someone else would have filled in my life.**_

 **(What life?)**

 _ **That's getting old.**_

 **[So what Spiderpool is trying to say is that he put Deadpool voices in a Justice League crossover]**

 **(This stuff is his second language, ya doche)**

 _ **Why are you two getting defensive all of a sudden? This is my rant!**_

 **(Too bad. We're taking over!)**

 **[So I don't want to hear any lip about what doesn't match up with what or who is stronger than who.** _ **Leave Spiderpool alone**_ **]**

 **(Ho ho ho, someone's gett'n uppity)**

 **[This is a fanfiction, you should either treat its author with respect, or write a better one yourself]**

 _ **Um, guys? You're making a mountain out of a craphill here! I was just planning to admit that I'm not all that good with the technical stuff! STOP MAKING MY READERS THINK I'M A SENSITIVE MUFFIN-HEAD!**_

…

…

…

 **(Heh, muffin-head)**

 _ **You just lost all that respect you gained from defending me.**_

 **[Hold on… you respect us?]**

 _ **Not anymore, ya pie holes!**_

 **(But you just admitted you did!)**

 _ **It was only for a few seconds. All is right in the universe now that it's over.**_

 **[Look what you did, Yellow. We could have gotten free chimichangas for our trouble]**

 _ **Aaaaaand you just earned yourself the bottomless pit closet.**_

 **(Awww! Don't be that person, ducky!**

 _ **IN THE CLOSET! NOW!**_

 **[Abuse, I say. Abuse]**

* * *

Chapter 18: Fear Me, I am Batman

To be completely honest, Spider-man was having one of the best years as a superhero he'd ever had. This new dimension's New York City didn't have any big super-villains to be heard of (besides the few minor meta-humans who had wandered in from time to time), so he didn't find his life buzzing with the usual panic and paranoia that came with all the responsibility.

But that didn't exactly make Peter as happy as it should have.

It's not like he hadn't asked the other Leaguers for assignments or missions to join. But every time he brought it up, they blew him off or made an excuse. Deep down, he knew that they weren't being cold, but they somehow thought that Spidey needed a vacation from superheroing. Which was the last thing he wanted to be doing. In no way did he want to shirk any more of his responsibility than he needed to. As long as he was away from his home world, he felt like he needed to make an effort to do good in the new one, and not just by dealing with common criminals.

Spider-man has a _major_ responsibility complex… so of course he would think he could do better.

Peter sighed deeply as he swung his spider-enhanced body through the skyscrapers. It was a considerably quiet morning, probably because the bad guys hadn't been kicked out off the couch by their grandmas yet. His own grandma had been Batman, reminding him ever so diligently with the annoying ringtone that he had work to do.

 _Bats has been on my back ever since I stole his utility belt._

 _ **What did you expect? You wouldn't be a jolly spider-lad if he had stolen your web shooters!**_

 _True. But he could at least let up on Saturdays._

 _ **Criminals don't take the Saturday off.**_

 _Did you just seriously quote Batman to me?_

 _ **He's a good source of humor.**_

 _Yeah, if humor had a death glare._

Spidey avoided yet another building that hadn't existed in his dimension. He didn't plan on having a repeat of his face-plant in Metropolis… especially since he was sure Batman was watching.

The wall-crawler released his grip from the web line to perch on a conveniently placed gargoyle. He could feel the distant chill of October weather through his insulated suit, giving himself a mental sticker for adding it in his free time. He thought about installing a few more gadgets into his suit, but he didn't want to use up any more of the Justice League's resources, and he was saving the money Bats gave him for when he got back to his dimension. Maybe he could even buy a better camera.

He felt guilty about mooching off the JL, but Batman he had no problem being an inconvenience to.

Even so, he had lowered the bar for his apartment, since he didn't want to be living like royalty while he dumped his responsibility on the Avengers. Plus, it just felt wrong.

 _What do you think about that agreement Flash came up with for Halloween?_

 _ **I think it's stupid.**_

 _What?! I think it's a great idea!_

 _ **Getting everyone to switch costumes for a day just sounds like something a bunch of kids would do. Besides… what happens if someone draws Wonder Woman? Namely us!**_

 _Don't worry, Other. Everyone already decided that Batman would have the honor._

 _ **In that case, I'm all for it.**_

Peter could admit that everyone was a little hesitant when the Flash suggested the idea (Batman practically tried to kill him with his eyes) but eventually the League warmed up to it and decided to draw names out of Green Arrow's hat. No takebacks unless you got your own. But of course, Batman refused to even show up for the drawing, claiming that "there was an Arkam breakout that he needed to take care of".

Everyone knew he was running away for the sake of his pride. No one could blame him really. But that solved the uneven numbers problem, if nothing else.

Spidey breathed in the city air, noticing how much cleaner it smelled from Gotham. He turned his head in the direction of the nearest zeta-tube, deciding that it was quiet enough to head to the Watchtower for the costume exchange. He shifted the backpack with the extra Spidey costume on his shoulder, and leaped off the gargoyle to thwip to his destination. Peter only hoped that Superman didn't drawn his name, the spandex might be a _wee_ bit tight. They could always alter the suit later… but where's the fun in that?

"Alright everyone!" Flash, aka Barry Allen, clapped his hands together excitedly. "Let's get to the suit swapping!"

Out of everyone, the speedster was getting the most kick out of the Halloween agreement.

"We get it, thumper!" Arrow rolled his eyes as he dropped his gym bag in the circle of superheroes. "You can't wait to see who gets to cosplay Wonder Woman."

"It's obviously not Batman," the goddess herself commented, obviously disappointed.

Spidey took another sweep of the room to confirm that the Dark Knight was indeed ditching on their agreement. Yup, not a pointy ear in sight.

"I seem to remember him making a deal with Spider-man not too long ago," said Martian Man-Hunter.

Superman shook his head. "We can't force that stubborn Bat to do anything he doesn't want to, so I see no point in waiting for him."

"Yeah," Flash agreed, thumping his foot just as Arrow nicknamed him. "So let's get this thing rolling! I wanna see who picked—"

"We know!" The League all exclaimed in unison.

"Yeesh, no need to get touchy."

Peter grinned behind his mask at the sudden child-likeness of the team, and all because of a little Halloween fun.

 _I can't remember the last time I did something like this._

The rest of the team settled down long enough to add their extra suits into the pile, and pull out their slips of paper. One by one, the Leaguers read off their destined personas. Peter went first.

"The Flash," He announced, with a tinge of relief washing over him. Somehow, swinging around in nothing but a unitard and a tiara didn't sound that appealing for a chilly October day.

The teen hero knelt down to grab the bright red suit from the pile. It didn't look that different from his own, except the material was a bit denser and he only had a partial mask. And of course, the web design was replaced with lightning streaks.

 _I personally think I got the best one here._

Spidey was afraid the rest of the team wouldn't be so lucky.

To his relief, Flash was ecstatic when he got Spider-man's suit, and I'm pretty sure he make some sort of squealing sound a fanboy makes (not that I would know). Of course, he forgot his lapse in manliness long enough to express his disappointment when Martian Man-Hunter notified everyone that he had picked Wonder Woman.

Why was his disappointment so eminent you ask? Well, everyone knows that the Martian can change into any shape or form, so all he had to do was mirror Wonder Woman's exact appearance. No one could tell the difference. Yeah, I know… disappointing.

The rest of the team was more relieved than upset that J'ohn got the warrior princess, and proceeded to announce their new hero identities.

"Superman," said Wonder Woman.

"Martian Man-Hunter," said Arrow.

"Green Arrow," said Superman.

The Kryptonian paused and gave the gym bag of Oliver's a wary look. The archer simply smiled mischievously.

"No take-backs," Arrow interrupted as Superman was about to object. "Those are the rules."

Clark Kent didn't even try to hide his uncomfortable sigh, reminding Spider-man of Captain America whenever one of the Avenger's dared to swear in his presence, while the rest of the team just looked at each other with glittering eyes. Poor Supey, the odds are most definitely not in his favor.

Peter frowned underneath his mask as a thought came to him. "Hey, do we have to trade gadgets and weapons too?"

The giddy look on Arrow's face disappeared at the thought of crime fighting without his iconic bow and arrows.

"I don't think so," Flash spoke up before anyone else had the chance. Apparently, he had nominated himself the official rule-maker without anyone's consent. "We're just trading costumes."

Spidey eased his shoulders at the revelation. Simply the thought of running everywhere, just as he'd done in Metropolis, was exhausting. Even if it was a slow day for crime, he wasn't about to parkour his way through traffic for no other reason than to pretend to be the Flash.

The Justice League disbanded to go alter their suits to fit them, either in the Watchtower or at their own base. Everyone except the Martian, naturally. He just waited around for everyone to return. Peter barely had to fix anything with Flash's suit, except maybe the height. His sewing skills came in handy though. The web-slinger assumed that Barry would switch out his own spider-suit's thin souled shoes with something that wouldn't burn out.

Or catch fire.

He had heard some very interesting stories about that.

Once he was finished with the alterations, such as openings for his web-shooters, the teen quickly changed into his fetching attire and strolled into the main deck once more, to find the speedster and the green alien waiting. It was apparent that the Flash had used his super speed to adjust his new costume, since he looked like he had been waiting a while. He was, of course wearing the Spider-man suit, and it didn't look half bad for one that didn't belong to him.

"Finally! What's taking everyone so long?" He exclaimed in a half whine half sigh.

"Well not everyone can travel faster than the speed of sound," come the reply of one very green and blue Legolas, his cape trailing behind him as he entered. "Or deplete an entire all-you-can-eat buffet in under five minutes," he added.

"Nice cape there, Ollie," Peter quipped with a smile in his voice. "Planning on visiting any comic conventions later?"

"Hardy har. You laugh now, but my cape and I will rule this planet before you know it."

This declaration of a takeover from the oddly dressed Green Arrow caused the other two heroes in the room to crack up, while Martian Man-Hunter chuckled. When Spider-man—oops—Flash laughed, it felt different. Maybe it was because he didn't have his smile hidden behind a webbed mask. But whatever it was made him feel like his emotions were out in the open. And that wasn't half bad.

Peter was just glad Batman wasn't there to scowl at him for being happy or something.

The laughter carried on, with the archer joining in, until the arrival of princess Diana made them stop.

"What's with the Joker impressions, boys? Ollie can't look that ridiculous in a cape."

Peter's jaw dropped at the new Superfied version of their resident Amazon. The suit design itself stayed the same, it was only changed in a few places to fit her form, and Wonder Woman's signature golden arm bands and lasso were in their usual positions. What really gave the four heroes a shock was the lower half of the suit… the blue leggings past the red *cough* were missing!

When the four Leaguers neglected to speak for a good long while (due to shock-induced comas) Super-woman crossed her arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Is there anything you boys want to say?"

To the warrior's satisfaction, the four frantically shook their heads "no". They all had a feeling that if any of them mentioned her lack of tights, they would have to spend the rest of Halloween in the medical bay. So they decided not to trust their mouths and stayed silent.

The struggle was real for Spidey.

The team only waited a little longer for Superman, but the time he took was understandable, since his suit was the most difficult to alter. When the Kryptonian finally arrived, a quick intake of breath was heard in the room. It was Superman alright, just greener… and with a tiny hat.

Yeah. The Justice League didn't stand a chance.

Clark looked painfully embarrassed as the team failed to contain their laughter, and Spidey almost felt sorry for the farm boy. But then he noticed the boots, and started laughing again. Green Arrow was the first to stop in his merrymaking, and suddenly so.

"Hey, wait a minute." He began with a realization dawning on his face. "Is this how all of you see _me_?"

"Yes!" The speedster, the Martian, and the princess all said in unison, while Spidey toned his laughter down to a snicker.

"That's it!" Oliver threw his hands in the air and trudged towards the zeta-tube. "Me and my cape will be taking our services elsewhere! I'm sure my city will be much more supportive than any of you!"

"Yeah, good luck with that," Peter whispered to Flash, who joined him in snickering.

The Green Arrow and his wounded pride glared over his shoulder, it wasn't near as intimidating as Batman's, but it did the trick.

Everyone quieted down once the caped Robin Hood had left the scene, and Superman was just glad the attention was off himself. The rest of the team made a few comments about each other's outfits, before bidding adieu and taking off to their own separate cities.

After all… they had a Halloween legacy to begin.

* * *

Spidey-flash swung his way merrily through the streets of New York City, finding great enjoyment from the double-takes and the wide eyes of the civilians.

 _ **I bet they've never seen a flying Flash before.**_

 _We're not actually fly—_

 _ **Just roll with it.**_

Peter shrugged off Other's curt attitude, and brought his focus back to the streets. He was practically wishing for some knucklehead to snatch a purse so he could see the look on the crook's face when the Flash came falling out of the sky. The fastest man alive… web-swinging powers not included.

As if to grant his wish, a shady looking character with a baseball cap pulled over his face sunk out from the shadows, and slowly trailed the group of young children in their Halloween costumes. Spidey-flash had been following the kids for a little while, worried for their safety since they were without any parents or adults.

Apparently his caution had paid off, because the shady fellow triggered his spider-sense as a knife was suddenly pulled from the man's jacket.

 _Oh no you don't!_

As quick as the Flash, the hero swung himself down towards the sicko and landed a hard kick directly at the small of his back. It wasn't enough to break anything, but the cry of pain told Peter that the man still didn't appreciate the gesture. Spidey-flash kicked the fallen knife far away before turning to the crumpled creep for the finishing blow, but hesitated when he saw the wide and frightened eyes of a mini Batman. Yup, that's right, one of the kids was a pointy-eared fan… and he looked like he was about to cry.

In sensitivity to the watching child, the hero webbed up the crook to a lamppost without knocking him out first. Sure, the guy struggled hard, but he didn't want to make Mini Bats cry. The rest of the costumed kids, however, complained that they didn't get to see more superhero action. A few were smart enough to ask why the Flash used cotton candy to tie up the bad guy, which made Spidey smile.

"Now I'm going to call the police so they can lock up this nasty man," Peter talked down to the children, who all held on to his every word. "But no one try to eat the cotton candy while I do. Okay?"

The costumed kids nodded their heads enthusiastically, all except one little girl dressed as a ninja who frowned at the "cotton candy" webs, probably upset that the hero had to spoil her plans. Content with the majority of the group agreeing, Spidey-flash flipped open his phone and dialed 911.

"Hello?" Peter spoke into the phone while plugging his nose, making his words sound funny. Since he didn't have his usual mask to muffle his voice, he had to improvise. "There's this criminal that pulled a knife on a bunch of kids, but a superhero took him out and now he's just hanging here."

The cosplaying Spider-man winked at the children, who all giggled in return. Well, most of them. Mini Bats was still pouting for some reason.

"No, I'm not making this up officer. I promise! Can you at least send someone down here to pick this guy up? I don't want a crazy like him running loose on Halloween."

After a few more times of repeating that he wasn't prank calling, Peter gave the suspicious officer the location of the criminal's hanging place. He avoided mentioning that the guy was being detained by cotton candy, because he had a feeling that the cop's patience could only go so far.

Spidey-flash sighed as he tucked the phone into his utility belt, and turned his attention back to the group. They were surprisingly still there, but a few had occupied themselves by jumping off the short stone stairs leading up to an apartment door, while the ninja girl was showing off her handstand to a blonde Superman.

And then there was Mini Bats.

For whatever reason, the boy around the age of five had decided to plant himself sitting on the sidewalk. He kept sniffing, like he was trying very hard not to cry. Half of Spidey wanted to take a picture and send it to the real Batman (the Other half) and the second half wanted to cheer the kid up (the friendly neighborhood half). Peter obviously won out over his roommate, and knelt down close to the child.

"Hey, kiddo! Do you know whose costume you're wearing?" He began cheerfully.

Mini Bats glanced up at the hero cautiously, and sniffed, "Batman."

Peter grinned and shook his head back and forth. "Nope! Not that one!"

The toddler's face scrunched up in confusion, and he tilted his head. "Really?"

"Yup. He's got a totally different name!"

All wariness dropped from Mini Bats face, and he leaned toward forwards in curiosity. "What is it?"

Peter pretended to look from side to side, as if he didn't want Batman himself to overhear. "Well you see…" He smiled slyly and whispered to the child. "He's actually called Doberman."

The intelligent little five-year-old's eyes widened and he whispered back, "But that's a dog!"

Spider-flash's smile grew as he attached his two pointer fingers on the top his head to the imitate ears. Two black pointy ears to be exact. Catching on to what the mischievous wall-crawler was implying, Mini Bats frowned and replied unconvinced,

"But dogs don't wear capes."

"He's a super dog. Super dogs wear capes. Bats don't wear capes either, you know."

At that last and final act of persuasion, the costumed kid fell for it completely. Peter could tell from the look of wonder in his blue eyes. Aunt May would be so ashamed.

"So I'm Doberman?" The toddler asked.

"You are Doberman." Spidey continued to smiling at his immature prank. "All fear you."

The newly named Mini Dober jumped to his feet and ran back to his group of friends, most likely to share the little nugget of wisdom that a certain Spider-flash had share with him.

 _ **Batman is going to eject you out the Watchtower's disposal chute if he ever hears about this.**_

 _Relax. That's never going to happen._

 _ **Oh really? So all those little cameras around the city that your spider-sense has been warning about are just my imagination?**_

 _Wait, what?_

Peter followed the faint buzzing of his sixth sense to pick out the smallest of small cameras hidden in the darkest corner of a building. He wouldn't have noticed it if he wasn't looking for it, but now that he did, he wasn't going to let it just sit there.

Spider-man used his spider-abilities to make his way to the corner, and confirmed that the camera was indeed Batman's. It had the tiny bat symbol and everything.

 _ **Maybe he calls it the bat-lens.**_

 _He would do that._

 _ **So we destroy it, right?**_

 _What's the point? You said there are hundreds of them all around the city._

 _ **So why are you sticking your face in the camera?**_

' _Cause I can._

After a few seconds of eye-crossing, Peter got an idea. Reaching into his utility belt (which he had to wear on the outside since the Flash apparently wears a onesie) he pulled out his Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man notepad and scribbled something down on it. Once he was finished, the hero webbed the piece of paper in front of the camera with the kind of sticky stuff that doesn't dissolve in an hour.

 _ **Wow. And here I thought you couldn't get any more immature today.**_

 _It's Halloween. Sue me._

* * *

Everyone reported back at the Watchtower after their long day and partial night of cosplay superheroing. As expected, there were a few suit casualties. The first was Superman, who had managed to loose both the Archer's hat and tear the suit in more than one place. Apparently, he hadn't altered the fit as good as he had thought.

The next was Green Arrow, who had torn his beloved cape to shreds while fighting Boomerang. Everyone was sure that he was more upset about its loss than Martian Man-Hunter himself. They were only extras after all.

Princess Diana and the Martian had no trouble keeping their suits intact, though the rest of the team claimed that J'ohn was cheating since he hadn't actually used Wonder Woman's suit. But that's probably for the best.

And then there was the Flash, whose return surprised everyone. I'm sure it's because he came back with most of the suit burnt to a crisp. You see, he had replaced the soles of Spider-man's costume, but he was so excited to get done first that he forgot to add friction protection to the rest.

"So you caught on fire?" Green Arrow asked, desperately trying to keep the laugh out of his voice.

"Multiple times, yes."

Spider-man was the first to lose his composure (naturally) and the rest of the Justice League followed. No matter how upset Barry was about frying his Spidey suit, he didn't stay pouty for long.

"Someone should get down to Gotham and drag that cranky old Bat up here so we can make him stick to his word," the red speedster suggested, causing the team to consider the plan.

"I'll do it!" Spidey volunteered with surprising enthusiasm. "As long as everyone doesn't disappear once I get back."

The League members exchanged worried glances with each other, and Wonder Woman finally spoke up. "Are you sure? I mean, you two aren't exactly on the best of terms right now."

The webbed vigilante snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "We're _never_ on the best of terms. Besides, he can't hate me anymore than he already does."

Arrow shrugged at the Amazon as if to say "he's got a point". Seeing as the rest of the team had no objections to it (mostly because they didn't want to face the Dark Knight themselves) Spider-man's operation _Bring Back Bats_ was underway.

* * *

 _ **This idea is worse than the sticky note in front of the camera.**_

Peter rolled his eyes under his original spider mask as he web-swung his way through Gotham. He had pinpointed the Batman's location to this general area, but finding the dark vigilante was a whole other issue.

 _That idea was golden. You're just nervous that we'll get our tails handed to us._

 _ **Oh, you mean like last time?**_

 _Watch it, roomy._

Spider-man turned his attention to his surroundings. The area in which he was transported to was different that the Gotham City that he was used to seeing. For one thing, the buildings were much older, and there were even a few small houses wedged in-between them. It also felt quiet—too quiet. The kind of silence that needs to be broken.

 _This place gives me the creeps._

 _ **All of Gotham gives you the creeps.**_

 _Yeah, but this part especially._

 _ **It is Halloween. Maybe the Grim Reaper will steal your soul.**_

 _Zip it, Other. You're not helping._

 _ **Oooooooooh, Spidey's scaaaaaared!**_

 _I'm not listening, la la la la!_

Peter's denial was interrupted by the sudden spark of his spider-sense, warning of danger from the old abandoned house to his right. Curious about why a paint-peeling crazy cat lady's little hovel would cause his spidey-sense to go off as strongly as it did, the hero dropped down to the front yard. As Spider-man studied the building, he felt that the wooden boarded windows and half caved-in porch weren't exactly the most welcoming.

 _ **You could always turn back.**_

 _Oh reeeally? Who's scared now?_

That seemed to shut Other up, seeing as he stayed silent as Spider-man stepped towards the front door (love the alliteration). He winced when the hinges creaked painfully loud as the door swung open. Peter hoped that the abandoned house was, in fact, abandoned. Because if not, then whoever was inside surely knew that he was there.

Stupid hinges. He should have just crawled through a window. Oh wait… those are all boarded up.

With the need to be stealthy lost on him, Spider-man hopped over the hole in the wooden floor to face the empty hall. The space was very narrow, and so was the staircase leading to the second floor. He couldn't see what was up there because the stairs took a sharp turn, and his spider-sense wasn't helping much since he was in such a confined area.

All of this would have been very claustrophobic if Peter wasn't used to tight spaces, but it still made him nervous.

 _I can't see anything past this hallway and the stairs. It doesn't feel right._

 _ **Like I said. Turn back. No one will know.**_

 _But what if whatever's in here is dangerous to the residents?_

 _ **The residents? What about us?!**_

 _Not that your attempts at self-preservation aren't admirable… but I don't die as easily as civilians._

 _ **If you hand a genetically enhanced human an Armageddon bomb, and you hand an average Joe an Armageddon bomb, both die either way.**_

 _Then we'll just have to hope that there's no explosives in here, hmm?_

 _ **Whatever. Your funeral. Oh never mind… I just remembered that I'll die too!**_

 _Shh! I'm trying to focus my spider-sense!_

Spidey hadn't just used that as an excuse to make Other stuff it, he was actually trying to pinpoint the danger radiating off the house. But having his roommate pipe down was a huge help.

The web warrior slowly walked past the decaying staircase and into the narrow hallway, his spider-sense ringing louder and louder with each step.

 _ **We need to get out of here.**_

 _Okay, the chicken act is getting a little annoying, Other._

 _ **I'm serious, you idiot! We need to—**_

Both Spidey's stopped their bickering as a faint sound was heard. It was a low and continuous hissing, and it was emitting from the small whole in the wall under the staircase. Peter didn't know how long the gas had been filling the room, but it was enough to make him feel off balanced.

Instead of walking backwards like his brain had told his legs, he swayed on his feet and had to brace himself against the wall. Things were not looking good.

"What!" A shrill and distorted voice pierced his skull. "You're not the Bat!"

Spider-man struggled to lift his head and find the owner of the voice, who was leaning over the railing, looking down at him. It was a demon. Or at least that's what Spidey saw through fear-gassed vision. The scarecrow-like figure's face was morphed into a sinister jagged grin, and the shadows around him writhed to envelope the room. Everything seemed to grow taller than Peter, while he himself felt small and helpless. Whatever the gas was doing to him had taken full affect.

"Never mind," The demon cackled and his gruesome sackcloth face distorted even more. "You'll do just fine, little hero!"

For reasons beyond Spider-man, he felt completely terrified. As his head reeled, he vaguely remembered one of his teammates mentioning an Arkam breakout earlier that day. But any prior thoughts were brought crashing down as the aged floor suddenly collapsed under him, causing the Spider to fall into the gap. He barely had time to grab onto the edge of the pit, but when he did, his adhesive powers ceased to work. The teen, holding himself up only by sheer arm strength, heard a loud _bang_ and the splintering of wood behind him. There was an accompanying screech, followed by the sound of rapid and heavy footsteps.

All of the noise surrounding Peter disappeared as suddenly as it had started. Because standing only a few feet in front of him, as pretty as the day he met her… was Gwen Stacey.

Yes. I said Gwen Stacey. Deal with it.

 _No. That's impossible._

And yet still, defying all reality, his formerly living girlfriend stood there with a smile on her face.

 _"Hi, Peter,"_ spoke the ghost from his past in a hollow voice. _"It's been a while."_

"No. You're gone. I _know_ you're gone!" He yelled at the impossible vision of Gwen.

She in return, frowned as if Peter's words hurt her. _"What are you talking about, bug boy? I'm right here."_

The disoriented hero was about to yell back, but his grip on the edge of the abyss slowly began to slip.

"I saw it," He finally replied in a strained voice. "I saw you—"

 _"You saw me fall?"_ Peter's stomach froze as Gwen's eyes changed from hurt to condemning. _"You mean, you let me fall."_

Peter Parker's first love's words cut into his soul like daggers, and his will to hold on faltered. A fear like he had never known gripped his heart as the blonde slowly walked towards him.

With an expression that somehow still held sadness along with the hate, Gwen knelt down to come eye to eye with the boy. _"Isn't it only fair that you fall too?"_

Peter watched as his girlfriend's hands were placed on top of his own, and slowly lifted from their grip on the edge of the hole. The only problem is that he _let_ her do it. The broken hero didn't even fight as his Gwen removed his hands from their lifeline, and let the darkness surround him as he plummeted into the pit.

The last thing he saw before the world went dark, were the eyes of his love.

Lifeless.

* * *

A few minutes earlier…

Batman sped through the dimly lit Gotham streets in his Batmobile, on the trail of the Scarecrow who had escaped Arkam Asylum that day. Everyone back at the Watchtower probably thought it was an excuse to skip out on their immature game, but what they thought didn't concern Batman.

 _Capturing a psychopath takes higher priority over something as childish as a costume party._

Even so, Bruce would be sure to avoid all the members of the Justice League (especially Spider-man) for some time after. He wouldn't put it past them to play with ideas of revenge.

While he was searching for the Arkam escapee at the Batcave earlier, he had gotten an alert that one of the cameras he had set up in New York City was blocked, so he pulled up the footage. And what he saw did not make him happy.

 _Spider-man's getting ejected out the Watchtower's disposal chute next time we meet._

He had tracked the Scarecrow down to an older part of Gotham City, but the maniac had been smart enough to stay out of sight, so it was taking longer than expected. Batman was about to make another sweep of the neighborhood, when an alert sounded in the vehicle, notifying the vigilante that one of his cameras had picked up suspicious activity. Pulling up the surveillance on the Batmobile's screen, he looked on in growing annoyance as the web designed spandex of a certain teen hero disappeared inside a rundown house.

 _Why him of all people? Why couldn't it be the Joker?_

Why the universe continues to put our Friendly Neighborhood hero in the path of Gotham's Dark Knight, we will never know.

With an awakened urgency, the Batmobile sped in the direction of Spider-man's location nearby. Upon arrival, Bats simply halted the vehicle in front of the old house and jumped out without cloaking his "car" first. He had no intention of hiding himself from the arachnid menace. He began by stalking towards the building, but stopped dead in his tracks when a maniacal cackle shattered the silence.

 _Scarecrow._

Now sprinting onto the front porch, Batman proceeded to kick the door down and storm the entrance. The scene before him was a possibly unconscious Spider-man lying motionless on the wood floor, while the villainous Scarecrow hover over the form from the staircase with a grin on his face. But that grin soon disappeared at the sight of Batman.

"Drat! Not now!"

 _My thoughts exactly._

Before Bats had the chance to lunge at him, the psychopath darted up the rickety stairs and disappeared onto the second floor. Bruce's first thought was to chase after him, but his mind wandered to the disabled teen on the floor. He still wasn't moving.

The Knight growled aloud, and turned to the hallway instead of the stairs. If only Parker wasn't such an idiot. Kneeling down to check his pulse, the detective discovered that the boy was alive, but in shock. He had only brought so much fear gas antidote with him, and from Spider-man's condition, he realized that he had been breathing in the toxin too long for a single dose of antidote to work.

He needed treatment at the Batcave… but that would mean letting Scarecrow run free for a few more hours.

Deciding that the sooner he got Parker conscience, the sooner he could catch his target and through him in a cozy little cell, Batman picked up the wall-crawler and marched to his car. He tossed the limp Spidey in the passenger seat, thinking very little of whether it would cause a head ache for the kid later, and jumped in himself.

As the protector of Gotham (and the world) took off towards the mansion, a single thought crossed his mind.

 _He better stop complaining about the ringtone after this._

* * *

Location: The Batcave (obviously)

 _Oooooowwwwwww! Why do I have a headache?!_

Peter waited for a snarky response from Other, but gave up after five long seconds. Five _veeeery_ long seconds of a headache. Feeling a cold surface against his back, the hero slowly opened his eyes, only to squint them half shut at the bright light smack-dab in his face. The last he remembered was getting a major guilt trip from his dead girlfriend (which he may or may not have deserved) and plummeting into dark black nothingness.

 _So how did I end up in the Batcave?_

The answer? Batman.

No duh.

Peter groggily sat up from the medical table (a very uncomfortable medical table) and swung his legs over the side. Everything felt a little too wobbly for his taste, so he thought it safe not to stand just yet. As Spider-man's eyes adjusted to the lighting, he got his second ever glimpse at the legendary Batcave. After the first visit, where he had temporarily borrowed something of personal value to Batman, he was able to tone down his inner nerd just a wee bit.

But it was only a _wee_ bit, after all.

Just as Spidey was about to go search for the sacred collection of batarangs and use the giant dinosaur for target practice, a sticky note at the edge of the bed caught his eye.

 **Use the teleporter to get home.**

 **Don't touch anything.**

 **I know where you live.**

— **Batman**

Peter rolled his masked eyes.

 _Nooooo, and here I thought it was Wonder Woman leaving a note in the BATCAVE._

The web-slinger shook his head and clicked his tongue a few times for good measure, then tested his balance before standing. He didn't immediately keel over… so that's a good sign. Spider-man strolled out into the main cave area, at least a little familiar with his vacant surroundings.

 _I guess Bats is still out hunting Sack Face Guy._

 _ **Scarecrow.**_

 _Hey! How did you know that?_

 _ **You read about him while you were recovering, remember?**_

 _Um… I kinda skimmed that paragraph, actually._

 _ **Figures.**_

Spider-man's attention was eventually drawn to the bat-computer, which glowed in all its giant magnificent-ness. A mischievous smile stretched across the arachnid's face.

 _ **You're gonna hack it, aren't you?**_

 _You can't stop me._

 _ **I wasn't going to.**_

Seeing as nothing but the distance threat of Batman stood in his way, Peter took the liberty of hacking the bat-computer. It's not like he was doing anything necessarily devious, he just wanted to see if the cameras had picked up his little chat with Mini Bats. And when he did… he just "accidentally" erase the footage.

 _Can't have ol' Batty Man ticked for no reason after saving us, now can we?_

 _ **You're sneakier than you'll ever admit, you know that?**_

 _Hush, child! I'm preforming an act of kindness here!_

 _ **Mm hmm. Sure.**_

After safely removing any and all video recording of his costumed conversation, the webbed warrior decided his fun messing around in the Batcave was over once he spotted the time.

 _Five in the morning?! How long was I out?!_

 _ **Till five in the morning.**_

 _Sarcasm? This early in the day?_

 _ **That's never stopped YOU before.**_

Peter struggled at Other's fair point, and began walking towards Batman's personal zeta-tube. He most definitely didn't want to be around when its owner got back from bad-guy busting.

* * *

Batman rolled his shoulders tiredly as he entered his secret base from a long night (and morning) of capturing Scarecrow. The criminal had had a few more plans up his sleeve, all of which had caused a major headache to the resident Bat. But it was finally over, and Scarecrow was finally back in the nuthouse wear he belonged.

And yet something still didn't feel right.

Bruce glanced warily at the recovery area, where he was relieved to find that Spider-man had up and gone. After the night he had, the quippy arachnid was the last thing he wanted to deal with. He scoured the cave for any signs of technology being fiddled with (or stolen) or batarangs lodged in his collection. The answer was a resounding no.

And yet something _still_ didn't feel right.

That was when he noticed the computer. Its screensaver was still up… which meant someone had been on it recently. A very Friendly Neighborhood someone to be exact.

With a growing suspicion, Batman began searching his files for any sign of tampering. Almost immediately, he discovered that a whole section of the surveillance before the time he had discovered the note was missing. The kid had done a good job of practically demolishing any trace of the footage… but he had forgotten on thing.

The bug on the lamppost.

As Bruce listened intently to the recording of the listening device, his expression turned from curious to furious. And then there was something else more surprising.

Not a smile.

Totally not a smile.

* * *

 _ **Wow. That was LONG.**_

 **(Bravo!)**

 **[I didn't know you had it in you]**

 _ **Me neither… but now I feel dead.**_

 **[Die** _ **after**_ **you finish the entire story]**

 **(Yeah! No bailing!)**

 _ ***whines* But I wanna go to sleeeeep!**_

 **(Tough cookies)**

 _ **Wait. How did you two get out of the pit closet?**_

 **(Elementary, my dear Watson)**

 **[You can't get rid of us]**

 _ **That's what I told my therapist. Did she believe me? NOOOO!**_

 **(Your therapist must not be a Sherlock Holmes fan)**

 _ **Probably not. The jerk.**_

 **[This ending section is going to be short, isn't it?]**

 _ **Yesh. Misa amost die now.**_

 **(I'll prepare the pit for ya)**

 _ **Plez do.**_

 ***Yellow walks away***

…

 **[He's really going to do it, you know]**

 _ **I know. Just let it happen, bro. Just let it happen.**_

 **So yeah. Freakishly long chapter (for me at least) and it took me a whole bunch of cram time after school and between homework to finish. I also broke my foot at camp and have to hobble around on crutches for three weeks. SO IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED IF YOU REVIEWED. plez. A few stuffs I remembered that I wanna mention before I die: I don't actually know if Martian Man-Hunter has an actual "suit", but for the sake of this fanfiction he does (so deal). Spidey CAN and WILL hack the bat-computer on a daily basis (just cause). Friction causes fire, so the fact that it happened for the Flash is plausible (plus I saw it on his TV show, so ha!). No real Supermen were harmed in the making of this fanfiction (I'm sorry for all you Supey fans who were personally embarrassed for him, I know this feeling as well). I don't really know the complete side-effects of Scarecrow's fear gas (so if it's not up to code, sue me). Green Arrow's borrowed cape from Martian Man-Hunter can be torn in this fanfiction (so I don't care if it's made out of a friggin titanium alloy or whatever). And finally, Gwen is dead. Let's just all get that straight right now. SHE IS DEAD. For reals, yo! No clones (yay!). Fear gas is a beach. Peace!**

* * *

 **[UPDATE: PLEZ READ] So just a heads up, I put the character profile of one UltimateSpiderPool in that little profile section of mwah's. Backstory, description, how the voices came to be, all that junk. SpiderPool is the _italics_ voice in the intro and end credits if you didn't know. I may or may not turn the whole "Deadpool's voices are people and they're being babysat by a teenager" thing into a fanfiction. Just putting it out there. Adios!  
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